This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
First and foremost, we here at Rock 95.5 want to thank you for listening each and every day. In fact, I personally would like to thank you if you're reading any of this note nonsense that I slave tirelessly over daily (seriously, Angi has a sniper trained on me through the duration of the show to make sure I'm always listening and typing.) Anyway, as you probably know, Rock 95.5 is a newer station (as in it's literally only 7-8 months old.) Most people do not know about the station simply because it's new and they're stuck in their old set ways. That's why we have you, the roadies, to help push the station and the show, to allow it to grow and flourish and become the juggernaut that will run over all other stations at some point. This is why we implore the tell 3 friend rule (if you love the station, tell 3 friends) and that you change all your presets (and others for that matter) to 95.5. We want to shout about the station from the rooftops. Anyway, as I said, if you listen, you are a roadie. If you do the work, you can become a Head Roadie. The perks are present and will continue to grow as the station does and things reopen. With all this covered, we realized something this morning. Angi and Abe (that gruesome twosome) are the band and they don't have a name yet. It should be pointed out that The Yellows (Angi's old dance troupe,) Bloody Skull (Abe's old high school movie/band) and Hospital Bracelet (an actual band) are already taken. So, the question became, can the roadies create a name for the Angi/Abe and the show? Chris gave us Young & Hard which Angi explained the more fitting would probably be Middle Age & Semi. Kyle gambled on Social Suicide because the it sounds metal and the show is metal. Chad gave up the Ramblin' Gamblers. Abe chimed in with The Degenerates but that's too on the nose and fitting imo. Harold said Angi and the Kanan's, which is a boob joke and also a fitting name. Shawn decided on Mayo Bomb, which of course Abe loved. Before turning back to the names, a discussion of who would be singing came up. Angi bowed out, saying she would do back up and if need be, she can play the skin flute like no one else. Turning to the social, Lauren on Twitter off Sexy Mayonaise (I see a pattern here.) Anthony said they should be The Gamblin' Moncata's. Over on Facebook, Ruben suggested Woo Tiggy and the Capgun Smokes (I have no idea.) Stephanie offered up two names on Facebook as well. The A Holes (though that would be fitting for an Angry Bob fronted side project) and Mush and Mayo (which is much better imo.) Steve presented Princess and the Toad (I'm assuming that it would include members of Toad the Wet Sprocket?) As for my contribution, I think mine is most fitting. Final Destination because it's the only place you should be locked in each morning and also because both of them are going to die in a wacky way at some point.
All the Rest:
It was only a matter of time after Abe got his vaccine that things started to get dicey once again with him. Before you start clutching your pearl necklace and get close to fainting, I'm clearly referring to his back slide into society degenerate now that gambling is on its way back in. That's right, beloved morning degenerate, problematic gambler and vanilla square Abe Kanan has an itch to gamble. In fact, he will literally play anything just to scratch that degeneracy. Ater explaining that, he began to run down a list of gambling places that are open (including but limiting the details on those shady underground sites.) Angi was curious about Abe and blackjack, as that is her go to game (and if you're a regular listener, you would recall that she has like 40 billion monopoly dollars on her fun blackjack app.) Abe is game for anything, poker, blackjack, craps but what he's really fiending for currently is roulette. Seeing how well he did on his Best Bet of the Week this year (cough cough sarcasm cough,) he offered up another tip for all of you desperate to make that paper. When you're playing roulette, he bets on colors because it always seems to work on the color, section etc. Should I add the advisory here to probably point out that you shouldn't blow all your money on shameless gambling. Anyway, Angi is starting to think that Abe may become that gas station degenerate he saw yesterday morning. If her theory on past lives is correct, perhaps Abe glimpsed into the future?
So, let's get a little morbid for a minute (don't worry, it gets fun after you get over the speed bump.) Let's assume today is your last day on Earth (and for some people, it just might be.) Tonight, you're going to have a big party thrown for you, a death party. You can do anything you want, like just get nasty and out of control (I also came to learn that the delusional boundary is down so feel free to get creative in your thought process.) What would you want to do at your death party (a celebration before you die tomorrow.) For a man and his wife in Minnesota, they thought of something amazing (see messy) to do before she died the next day. It began with springing the wife from hospice and coming home to paint "Death God Hell" on their front door. They then proceeded to have a giant meth party. After the meth, they proceeded to have sex and listen to Quiet Riot all night. The next morning, she died. Immediately, Abe "topic wrecker" Kannan started to take this drug orgy off the rails with his insane questions. It began with him wanting to know why she was dying because according to him, people dying like that (in hospice) can't bang. He then turned around and questioned Angi, would she bang someone who was in hospice. Of course (no shock there) though she would want to wear a full body condom doing it. FYI, it's probably cancer Angi, you can't catch cancer you ditz. Before we were righted back into the story, Abe also was curious to know how he was banging her. One would assume they're definitely not smashing her head into the headboard while he chokes her with a dog leash (hmm, that was oddly specific eh.) Anyway, now the guy is in trouble for doing this (duh) and it's funny because Abe is actually outraged about someone breaking the law. He's also still a bit mad about the sex too it seems. So the question became, what would you want to do at your death party? Abe's is exactly the spectacle you would expect. A bunch of ladies (J.Lo, Mila Kunis, Trish Stratus, Stamos in a wig.) Bags on bags of Whoppers, Jersey Mike's lined tables, an entire bucket of Au Cheval Bacon. Guns N' Roses, The Black Crowes and Danzig would be playing. A giant poker game and just cans of whip cream everywhere. Angi would first rob a bank (and not die in a shootout.) She would give the money she stole to her friends. She would then have a sex, drugs and rock and roll orgy all night with those people, a mouth for every hole and a hole for every foot, etc. Head Roadie Ferrari kept it simple, he would want to dive into a pond of red heads. Roadie Dylan would have a rather subdued affair, wherein he would gather a bunch of people together to try and figure out where his dad went twenty years ago. As for myself, I'll shorten the version I sent Angi and Abe via text but it involved an Iron Man match between Jon Moxley and Sami Zayn (winner smoothers me to death at midnight with their thighs,) me resting my head on Angi's breasts while she pours liquor down my throat and a concert featuring Stabbing Westward, The National and The Cure.
Finally, my favorite Tuesday fixture Big Cat (who imo should be the official mascot of The Angi Taylor Show) called in for his weekly appearance. As of 9:14 this morning, Big Cat had drunk 16 beers and 2 glasses of Jack (no chaser.) His drinking started a little late today (at 5 A.M.) and he was explaining how all this massive boozing is a way to rehydrate his liver (a man of science after my own heart.) Not only does booze make you healthy but it also makes him a great golfer. Angi, being the buzzkill, took him to task and mentioned he's not a track runner. He did respond proper though, saying he walks when he golfs, does not use a cart and sometimes he has to spring. Abe, sounding winded just considering the idea, would not play golf with Big Cat because he would definitely want to use the cart. Angi then continued to be Debbie Downer by pointing out that this should be retitled "Big Cat's Still Alive Check In." I swear Angi, you're just trying to take away the old good thing Tuesday has given us and I for one will not stand for it!
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Jamie
Challenger Song Choice: "Far Behind"
Champion Song Choice: "Dragula"
Observation: Dating your cousin, cheating husband allegations, Tik Tok, insults, cross dressing, Alabama! Lord this literally had everything today and these bitches did not hold back. Good stuff, I'm assuming the song will dictate this one.
Winner: Jamie
The 8:30 Call Out:
Angi called out the airline industry for price gouging.
Sara called out her roommate because her roommate is gross AF.
Matt called out Angi for causing him to hear Illinois as "Alillnoi."
Scott called out the fast food industry because all the dollar menus are gone.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Christie Brinkley. She's 67 and she's still posting thirst traps.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "You guys don't do any kind of dancing do you, you don't play the violin." - Abe
Quote: "Would you (Angi) bang a hospice body?" - Abe
Quote "A heart attack for 99 cents. Oh My God. Sounds amazing." - Angi
Quote: "When you go to bed at night, make sure your last tweet is not you on all fours." - Abe