This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So, aside from you know, locking us in the house, making people sick and killing a ton as well, the pandemic has brought out yet another horrible issue. Because of covid, there is now a ketchup shortage that is hitting restaurants across the country. According to Angi, there is a toilet paper surplus though however I've heard otherwise and have been stockpiling toilet paper myself honestly. Anyway, this brought forth a topic that Angi wanted to explore this morning. If there was going to be a sudden shortage soon, what is the thing you would run out and start stockpiling. The crazy thing that came from this was Angi and Abe's offerings to the topic. One would assume that mayo would be Abe's pick of the litter but no, instead he went with strawberry Laffy Taffy's. That's right, he loves them and keeps an entire tub of them at home and eats them there as well. Why doesn't he drag them out with him to the studio, because he doesn't want to carry said big tub around. On the other hand, Angi would have to say wine right, as it is the one thing that her body is mostly filled with. However, you would be wrong to assume that because her choice was cheese. That's right, Angi loves cheese so much that she fills the work fridge with that and water. Turning to the roadies, Tyler said he would stockpile pot. Lumberjack Dave could not have enough of Jack Daniels. Head Roadie Jim is going for the whole shebang adding coffee, Pepsi, pizza and nachos. Lauren on Twitter also picked coffee. My roommate Chenzo chimed in with Miller Lite, which is his version of water. As for me, if there was a shortage coming, I would fill the fridge, my closets and any open spaces with Captain Morgan White.
All the Rest:
So yesterday, Angi decided to go to the White Sox game and things only went downhill from there this morning. At the game, the wife of a couple that was sitting in front of her and her friend found out that Angi works at 95.5. This chick apparently went nuts after finding out and then told Angi a wild story. She "allegedly" made out with Sully from Godsmack and she was willing to let him hit the cash and prizes but he stopped it. Why? Because he had a wife at home and he wanted to be respectful toward her. Yes, after you get done digesting that mess, let's move forward. So it was a nice day outside, Angi was sitting behind the White Sox dugout and it was all good. In fact, she learned that Moncada actually walks out to his song that he created, which is fun. What was not fun though was social distancing at the game, which is apparently awful. The thing is now, you have to go to your specific section and you can not go anywhere else on the concourse. Like for example, if you're in a section with no food, you're hat full of nachos is not happening. This sent Abe over the edge and he was yelling about not having food in your section. He then proceeded to list the food he actually wanted. Angi was depressed by the idea of not being able to walk around but she did enjoy the idea of being able to put your feet up, throw her jacket aside and do what she wanted. Speaking of jackets, that would come back to haunt Angi all day as Abe suggested that her jacket made her a mush and she was the reason the Sox lost. Things only went downhill from there but we never got to hear about it more than once because we unfortunately ran out of time for Abe's sports.
As we all know but no one cares about, the Kim and Kanye divorce is ongoing and will probably be a mess. To get back at that no talent walking bag of money Kim, Kanye has come out and said that the next "woman" he wants to date has to be an artist. So out of this came a topic, what is the absolute worst profession to date and why? For example, Angi has a friend who was married to a pilot and this was a bad thing because pilots are apparently serial cheaters. Abe's suggestion for the topic was bartenders because they're apparently always banging everyone. Angi was a bartender and according to Barb, a known whore, so it what Abe said makes sense right? Apparently, Angi was a good girl though and actually had a boyfriend when she bartended. She only cheated on him that one time with that guy in her car, that was probably parked behind a dumpster. I think I could get some excellent input from both my roommate Chenzo (who was a bartender) and Palmer (whose husband is a bartender) but who has that kind of time. Abe also suggested to not date a hooker and Angi threw in to not date an influencer. Other occupations on the list were stockbrokers (they're always partying,) lawyers (overworked liars,) firemen and bartenders (see above.) Turning to the phones, Todd once dated a stripper and gave vague details but his reasoning behind not dating her was ridiculous. They make too much money and they will hurt your ego. Todd apparently wants these girls pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, not out working duh. Abe does not agree at all, he would love to sit home and let his woman make tons of cash. Sidenote, Cathy does make more money than Abe. It was also noted that Todd probably shouldn't date Angi as she probably already makes more money than him.
Finally, Head Roadie Jim offered up a great topic via Twitter this morning. Apparently, a new version of the porn name game is out and so of course, we had to indulge. This version takes your middle name and the first car you had. A lot of fun actually came out of this topic as well as knowledge. So for example, we learned that Angi and Abe both don't have middle names so they get really cool porn names. Say goodbye to Angi and hello to Monte Carlo (stripper by day, gang bang queen by night.) Abe was Cavalier (hired hitman with a dong that can stop traffic.) Jim, who originated this, becomes Rex Cougar (A gigolo who will break your heart and your hymen.) Head Roadie Mario is John Thunderbird (Indian male stripper who also owns the casino.) Head Roadie Sandy would be Bonneville (The oldest stripper in the club.) Other good ones via Twitter included Henry Focus, Sal Blazer, Jon Nova, Marie Ford Escort, Taylor Somerset, Michael Camaro and tons of others. Check Twitter and The Facebook Group to see the rest.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Jeff
Challenger Song Choice: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Champion Song Choice: "The Red"
Observation: Roxie's phone was worse than Jeff's so Abe had to hand off the insults to Jeff for her. His were eh, her's were meh, this was blah. The brother vs. brother war that is coming Monday though more than made up for it.
Winner: Jeff
The 8:30 Call Out:
Trash Man Tim called out the squares guy who didn't pay out $2,000 in owed money.
Jacob called out Abe for getting Request Wars Jeff's name wrong (but it wasn't)
David called out Illinois for having garbage roads and the Illinois State Police for not enforcing the "hands-free" law.
10 o' Clock Toast:
The Mush of Wall Street. Abe literally has nothing!
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I wanna kill myself right now cause Dogecoin is 30 cents." - Abe
Quote: "I'm not known for Final Four, I'm known for NFL bets." - Abe
Quote: "Can you DoorDash some drugs over here, what's going on?" - Angi
Quote: "Hey parents, don't name your kid Geoff, name him Jeff." - Abe
Quote: "You're not the Wolf of Wall Street, you're the Mush of Wall Street!" - Angi
Quote: "I told him next time he drinks fabric softener, I'm not calling the paramedics." - Minn Barb
Protip: Hey, if you're going to call and play a game, make sure your phone works. - Angi
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Kyle, Head Roadie of Bikers