This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So, this morning we could have had a sizemake leak of epic proportions had it not been for Saint Kanan, Patron Saint of Being a Goody Two Shoes, stopping it. You see, when Angi and Abe rolled in this morning, it was discovered that weekend (and Klinger filler in) radio man Shark accidentally left his email open. Devil incarnate Angi was all for rifling through Shark's email, looking for deck pics and scandalous details. Instead, Patron Saint Abe closed the email down before anyone could jump into all that goodness. Abe is against all of this and he does not like to do it, neither does Angi (of course) but that doesn't mean she won't when given the opportunity. Lord of Goodness Abe said he was there to cut the head off the snake, saving Shark from ridicule and ensuring his spot in heaven. Angi said she totally would have done the same but it's not like she didn't want to know. Nosey Bitch Taylor in fact once broke up with some loser and ended up seeing an open email of his where he was begging his ex to take him back after she kicked him to the curb. Roadie John called in to discuss at time when he worked for an armored truck company. They were at a restaurant doing a pick up when they noticed a restaurant manager had left his email open. What they saw was shocking but made sense, involving a discussion about pink filler that is put in the meat at this particular chain. They apparently put this into their meat to make it fuller and more colorful. In fact, it was mentioned that this is not something fit for human consumption and if they were called out on it. Ah, gotta love corporate America. Speaking of emails, not exactly that but I have a mutual friend who is "straight" but accidentally left hardcore gay porn open on his computer, which was spotted by a friend who then spilled the deets to others which has been a great story we've told for years. The ironic part here that can tie into the embarrassment point, the guy has no idea about it to this day. I know he listens to the show though, I hope he doesn't read these notes....
All the Rest:
What happens when you gather up 18,000 idiots and ask for their opinion, you get a list. Today's list had to do with The Muppets, all of them mind you, not just the well known ones. They were asked one simple question, name your favorite muppet. Overall, 150 different muppets ended up receiving a vote. This shouldn't be too hard to figure out who number 1 is going to be painfully obvious but there are still plenty of things worth looking at and dissecting here, at least in my mind. So, let's work the list like a stripper falling down a pole and see if any of your favorites make the top 10.
10. Statler and Waldorf (somehow a pair when Bert and Ernie, literal boyfriends were not considered as a pair.)
9. The Swedish Chef (Florged de florg)
8. Miss Piggy (Head Roadie of Being a Pig)
7. Fozzie Bear (Wocka Wocka I suck. Abe took a considerable offense to this, calling him a loser.)
6. Grover (How!? The literal injustice of my favorite being this low is disgusting. Also, Abe isn't a fan and anyone that hates Grover/Super Grover is a monster.)
5. Rowlf (Boring)
4. Beaker (Meep)
3. Animal (Mama! Angi's favorite btw, feels he should have been number 1.)
2. Gonzo (That stupid chicken banger, can't help but love him.)
1. Kermit (Of course, at least that stupid bitch Miss Piggy isn't up here.)
Other insights pulled from this topic. When Abe was a kid, he would always get hero action figures and his brother would always get the villains (explains the complex.) Angi thought of Abe this weekend when Masters of the Universe was on. Other's on the list Oscar the Grouch, Snuffleupagus, Big Bird, and Abe's favorite Cookie Monster was number 11.
So, Abe opened up a can of worms that has had my brain spinning all morning. What is something that you're ashamed of that you've never told anyone? This scarring incident was provoked by Abe watching aFamily Mattersreunion documentary and he had an incident click in his head. In his shame spiral, he texted Angi a tease but did not reveal the extent of his secret shame, instead saving it for a topic discussion this morning. It all seemed like this would go completely off the rails, with Angi also offering up a tale upon which she was mortified by and never told anyone about. So, what secret shame that Abe held deep did he unleash unto the world this morning? He was once watchingFamily Matterswith the family and after seeing Urkel dance, he was absolutely inspired. He snuck off, turned it on in another room and proceeded ... to not whack it. No, he instead was attempting to do that stupid Urkel dance in his own secret shame corner. This was his terrible secret, so dumb that Angi almost didn't reveal hers because it was much more embarassing (but not really.) Angi went on to chastise Abe and say that him admitting to watching theFamily Mattersreunion was more embarrassing than his secret. After explaining this was stupid, Angi let loose her secret shame. When she was 9, she was visiting Serbia as one does. In the middle of the night, walking through 20 feet of snow (up a mountain, with a bag of rocks tied to her back,) she went to the bathroom and ended up pooping in a bathtub. To get rid of the mess, she had to shove it down with a stick. As for my contribution to this, honestly I'm too much of an open book for a lot to be untold but the things that are untold, lord I don't have the stones to admit that stuff out loud.
Finally, this past weekend, Angi went to a birthday party on Friday night. Here report from the field involved witnessing partying like it was early 2020, as throngs of idiots were out and about and living it up (as if there's any wonder why numbers are rising with certain age groups.) The birthday party involved joint activities, starting at a rage room and ending with axe throwing. Angi was really digging her time, smashing plates and losing her mind in the rage room, much to the horror and terror of Jay the Straight. After explaining to Abe exactly what a rage room is, he was all in on the idea (I think we know where we're having Abe's 40th birthday party.) Anyway, as much as she loved the overall experience, there was one part of it she had to call it. It seems that a certain athlete who definitely is not named Jerry Azumah, was absolutely terrible at smashing things and was the worst of the group overall. Apparently it just goes to show that you can be great at some things and be flimsy and flailing when it comes to other things (like my ability to write notes but not being so great at pushing for better things in my life ... cough.)
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Trenton
Challenger Song Choice: "Kickstart My Heart"
Champion Song Choice: "Shout at the Devil"
Observation: Big Deady Captain America disrespected the process so Trenton won by default. Trenton wants competition and Shane might lose his title. Shrug.
Winner: Trenton
The 8:30 Call Out:
Owen called out his sister because she's getting married on his birthday.
Dylan called out his brother because his brother didn't show up at Easter dinner.
Rick called out Head Roadie Angry Bob for picking on Conrad Cooper.
Head Roadie Ferrari called out whoever is supposed to be fixing Chicago potholes.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Everybody with a crappy deck. The Deck Enhancement Contest is up and running, so get on it because everyone loves a big deck.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Me, if I eat anything, I immediately have to run to the bathroom." - Abe
Quote: "If anyone has a million dollars and wants to invest in my idea, hit us up." - Abe
Quote: "I just told everybody I chopped up my poop and tried to shove it down." - Angi
Quote: "This is so exciting, somebody's going to win a vibrator today." - Angi
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Shannon, Head Roadie of Pin Up Girls