This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
As much as you'll be pained to hear it, especially on Chainsaw Friday where you'll want to chainsaw everything to bits now, everything you love is fake. Correction, I meant the trash shows you love are fake. That's right, those comfort food nuggets of bad reality TV and for the most part scripted game show contests are sadly not real. I'm looking at you lovers of HGTV, scrollers through E! and the biggest offender, anything produced for Bravo. So for example, the things you see are not really what is happening. Shows likeFixer Upper,Property Brothers,House Hunters, you are not shown what is really going on in the background sense. OnHouse Hunters, they've already bought the house and look at the other two for the drama. On most of the other shows, the design work is usually paid for by the homeowners and HGTV only pays for the labor. Also, a lot of the material and items they use is clearance, discounted or discontinued stuff. Abe knows that Pawn Stars is totally fake but he doesn't care. Angi knows thatAmerican PickersandStorage Warsare totally faked and she will still binge them. Abe casually slid in thatMonday Night RAWis totally real cause they bleed after all and you can't fake blood (you know where this is going if you've been keeping up with us discussing wrestling.) Abe's example of a completely faked show isKeeping Up with the Kardashians(though I'm still pretty sure that Caitlyn Jenner had her weiner lopped off.) Turning to the roadies, they gave their thoughts on what is faked but they simply can't get enough of. Joey D watchesGold Rushand he's astounded how when something breaks on the show, it's fixed in 2.5 seconds. Also the employee turnover rate on that show is bonkers. Rich likes a show calledAirplane Repo, which actually happens but the scenarios are ridiculous, like the time the lambo was chasing a private jet. This alone made Angi curious about the show and now she wants to check it out. Head Roadie Jim saidHardcore Pawnon Twitter, he's actually been to the shop and it's tiny compared to what it looks like on TV. My example isRuPaul's Drag Race(gotta gay this up obviously.) While the talent (or lack thereof) is definitely real, the eliminations are totally scripted for drama and agenda of VH1 purposes. Plus, you ever see some of these chicks, they all look like dudes, it's weird. Lastly, Rick called in to discuss wrestling being fake, it's all scripted. He had the audacity to say The Undertaker isn't real, a literal dead man come back to life killing people on TV is not real. Angi had to chime in to mention Brock Lesnar, who won in the UFC. Well, Rick explained that is real but the WWE, that's fake. Hulk Hogan, he's not real even though Abe has seen him and he's all huge and big. Apparently the Stone Cold Stunner doesn't really knock someone out. Angi came back to discuss that people have died on RAW, like that time Vince blew up in his limo. Whatever, I don't believe this Rick guy because Alexa Bliss is currently possessed by a demon and will be calling in next Friday as well.
All the Rest:
When Angi was a teenager, she found Cosmopolitan magazine to be all the rage. Nowadays, she realizes that some of the topics are completely nuts. Anyway, I mention this because they have a list that Angi wanted to discuss and led us down a lane of absolute sussery. This stupid list was titled 20 Things That Make Guys Irrationally Horny. The answer should actually be basically anything but since there's only one straight man around, she used Abe as her polling example. Before pulling pieces of the list, Angi got called out for loving a guy who has a v cut but also dad bods (seriously though, dad bods are so hot.) This isn't about her though so let's ask gAy(be.) Tan Lines - nope, doesn't care about them. Athletic clothes - not really but he does like yoga pants. I swear I can't recall ever seeing Drew McIntyre in yoga pants. Glasses - this is the first yes from him. Baseball caps - yes, especially with the hair down. He doesn't want the hair up in them and those big ugly J-Lo earrings on his person. I use person because he clearly meant to say he loves a dude in a baseball cap. Good grammar - he doesn't care about this but he also doesn't want them stupid. A whiff of perfume - eh, no biggie here. This led to a round of sus shots (I had 6) and the discussion of Abe' Kanan Kollection, a fashion line for the modern woman. A girl wearing your shirt - since Abe is a big, burly strong bear of a man, the girl would look like she's wearing a nightgown. I'm assuming the answer for that one is no. A girl who plays guitar - Abe also doesn't care about this. I wonder what would happen if we retake this quiz and made it guy themed, how many yeses would we get then?
In what will go down as something truly incredible, Angi's old boss from the Minnesota bait shop that she worked at as a teen came to the studio today. She was there to see Angi but also to give a little bit of shady gossip in a segment that will occur every Friday called "The Hot Dish." Before we get into what she dropped as news, she discussed Angi. In a surprise to no one, Angi was apparently a young little tramp and was the worst employee ever. She was nothing more than a floozy who all the boys came into the shop to ogle over (surprisingly, nothing's changed so far.) Sadly, the bait shop is now long gone, a victim of the economic downturn and the fact that fishing is only worthwhile as an excuse to get drunk. Seriously, once whorezilla left, they couldn't really sell anything anymore. Anyway, Barb was here to discuss Tiger Woods, who was more than likely drowsy from an Ambien prescription that was given to him by a shady doctor. That's right, he was drugged up all sorts of stupid and that's what cause the crash. This is allegedly btw, words of a 70+ year old Minnesota woman so treat this gossip with that thought in mind. Anyway, Barb brought Abe an Easter basket, which was filled with fishing stuff, a six pack of ham and her famous hot tater dish. She brought one for Angi but she had taken off and hid in the bathroom, not wanting to see this crazy old coot. She also gave a tip that when you make deviled eggs for Easter this weekend, put food coloring in the yolk to scare the kids. Unfortunately, it wasn't too long of a visit as she had to drive back to Minnesota tonight for a fish fry. She did leave us with a great parting thought, she totally has DAP. You know "Dry Ass Pu....," sorry I threw up a little, I need to move on.
Finally today, a discussion point came from a school in Salt Lake City that decided to ban mullets and mohawks, which is not very country and rock & roll of them. This got Angi thinking and curious, what are some things that were banned when you were in school or are banned now for your kids if you have them. Angi was once kicked out of school for a day for wearing leggings because the faculty thought they were long johns (so dumb.) In high school, Abe was not allowed to have sideburns (going to a Catholic high school myself, I know this well.) In Abe's grade school, they were not allowed to have Bart Simpson shirts. At Angi's daughter's school,Pokemon Gowas banned. So was going to the bathroom at a certain time on Tuesday because the boys will all run in there to buy Supreme gear drops which occurred on that day and hour. At John's school (in Park Ridge mind you,) hats were banned because you know, gang relation. At Angi's school, they banned hats as well but only during testing time. As for roadie Mike, his school (in Tinley Park min you,) banned male earrings for gang relation. Josh's school also banned male earrings as well as short shorts for girls. Scott's school would not allow Heelys, you know those dumb shoes with wheels in them. As for my school, since it was a Catholic school, we couldn't have facial hair. This was a crime against nature as I look like an even hotter mess without facial hair and I had been keeping a goatee since I was 13 during non school times. An interesting side note here, there was a guy in my school year class that had a five o' clock shadow by like 2 in the afternoon every day. He was so hot though, he looked like he was in his late 30's and we were like 16. This was my OG gay crush, 100%.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Trenton
Challenger Song Choice: "Black Eyes Blue"
Champion Song Choice: "Down with the Sickness"
Observation: That was, I'm still spinning from the WTF was that absolute mess of a smack talk session. Ex wives, little boys, Hulk Hogan, Krispy Ku.... This was an absolute mess with a good zinger at the end. I dunno, go go song choice (bad ones at that.)
Winner: Trenton
10 o' Clock Toast:
Sammy Hagar. He and The Circle along with Wolfgang are playing Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre this Fall.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Hey, where do you guys (trashmen) take dumps? ... Do you just go in the back of the truck?" - Abe
Quote: "Do you have fake sports or real sports coming up?" - Angi
Quote: "Sports is all about your money." - Angi
Quote: "We don't do Best Bet of the Week anymore, we do What Will Make Abe Win Money." - Angi
Quote: "You know I can dress women with my collection, The Kanan Kollection." - Abe
Quote: "Wear a baseball hat, make him (Abe) laugh, stuff your pants." - Angi
Quote: "Where's the whore (Angi) at, is she gonna be here? - Minnesota Barb