This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's Chainsaw Friday and I'm thinking we should grab one of those chainsaws and hit up the strip club. I'm not talking about sawing the girls in half obviously, no the chainsaw is just there as a talking point. So gather up your washcloths and let's all get a few dances while Anastasia reads off these notes to you.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, Abe is not at all a flirt and is always a constant gentleman. Unlike him, Abe's girlfriend Cathy the Greek suffers from that thing where a woman is nice to someone and everyone assumes it's flirting. That's because men are idiots basically and will take any form of assumed kindness as an invitation for sexy time. Angi brought up this point about flirting so she could pose a question, is flirting cheating or do you consider it cheating? There's a list of three times where it could be considered as such, let's see if you agree. The first is if you are receiving emotional fulfillment from cheating. For example, Angi and Jay the Straight are the world's biggest flirts but it is nothing more than that. They enjoy doing it but they take nothing away from it in an emotional sensation. I'd have to say personal opinion here, it's a weird slop on this one. For example, it's not necessarily wrong to get emotional fulfillment but at the same time, if you are then there is definitely something missing in your relationship and you need to analyze that. The second thing is do you think about someone else when you're with your partner. Abe was curious if Angi has ever said the wrong name in bed or vice versa, which hasn't happened. It probably also helps that Angi has only dated and married a Jason so there's no chance for a slip. In my mind, this is probably the most problematic of the three. If you're getting fulfilled that's one thing but if you've moved on to thinking about them outside of the incident, you're clearly in a bad place. Third and final, they don't want to tell you about who they flirt with. Angi explained it away as if you know the person you're flirting with, it's okay. Honestly, someone people want to keep things for themselves and that's just okay. If you want to bang that person, then the red flag issue arises and takes hold. Wanting to do something and actually doing it is a big difference. As we learned Angi would love to bang Brad Pitt and Michael B. Jordan, of course. Would she if given the chance, absolutely. Wait, what. As pointed out, if you swap fluids then yeah, you're cheating and that's the end of it. Head Roadie Ferrari, the consummate ladies man, called in to point out that if flirting was cheating, he'd have cheated with every girl he's ever been with. It should be noted that he agrees on fluids though as once that happens, you've crossed the unreturnable line. There was a small detour into kissing, which dipped into the fluid fountain. Abe talked about how every radio station he's ever worked at has had a hugger/kisser whose hands would slide when he did it. Angi went on to say that she used to get kissed on the lips by an old radio guy (because harassment is fun.) Sadly, we also learned that the revamped sexual harassment videos that Angi and Abe were gonna do are dead in the ground as well.
Hey, now that driving and going places is finally going to become something we do again, it's time for a question related to that. When you're in the, what are some things that cause arguments in the car. Like fighting over the radio to pick something worth listening to. I'm confused though about this, you would think that all the stations would already be set and only playing Rock 95.5. Angi gave off a list of irritating things that drivers do that make people just absolutely nuts. One thing that Abe does, which he supposedly is working on is that he does not wear his seatbelt. Cathy yells at him, Angi yelled at him, I shamed him during my call, we all went in. For the love of god people, wear your seatbelt all the time please. A driver who might be tired and then there is a constant worry that they might doze off while driving. When a driver stays in the middle lane the entire time. When they don't use their turn signals. Speeding obviously is an issue people are going to always be bothered by. Breaking too hard for absolutely no reason and in that context, breaking at the very last second. Passing other cars in a dangerous way because you're in such a rush. Tailgating is another thing that you see too often and people hate. The final is also a huge issue regardless, talking on the phone while driving, which is so ridiculous. Before turning to the listeners, Angi and Abe gave theirs. Angi hates it when her driver does not turn off their blinker after they turn. Abe mentioned seeing a guy who had his foot hanging out the window the other day while driving, which is disgusting and dangerous imo. Head Roadie Troy hates when he has to deal with a backseat driver aka his wife who does it all the time. He would get along well with my father, totally. As for me and this is going to come off as bad, I used to always drive home with a friend when we would go to parties who was always drunk and I always had to worry we might end up crashing if he fell asleep driving.
Finally, oh my cod, can you absolutely believe it because I couldn't until I heard it. The Best Bet of the Week is back for a March Madness edition. Part of me honestly believes that Abe simply pulled it out to push his Loyola agenda but whatever, it's here so you know the drill. Take all your stimulus money, take all the money you made from short selling Gamestop and AMC stock, pull out all the money you intended on putting into the rotting archaic equipment of your radio show studio and toss all of that to your illegal bookie because Abe has a tip that can not fail and will bring you all that sweet cash. The Best Bet of the Week this week is to take the Loyal Rambler's -7 against Oregon State. The Ramblers destroyed Illinois, which is an amazing team and Oregon is straight up trash compared to them so this should be an easy win. Plus, they have the power of Sister Jean and she has a direct line to God and he loves college ball.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Rachel (1x)
Challenger Song Choice: "Shoot to Thrill"
Champion Song Choice: "Domination"
Observation: Well, that certainly was a Request Wars, a steaming pile of it. Rachel had a good zing and deserves to win on that alone but change up your bands girl.
Winner: Rachel
Other Topics:
Angi is a lover of all things documentary and so she has some suggestions for you if you have nothing better to do this weekend and want to watch something. At the same time it gave her an excuse to ask Abe if he had seen any of them as well, so you know the answer to these should all be fun (see Abe doesn't watch anything butThe Challenge.) According to a GQ list, here are the 11 best rock documentaries.
11. Madonna -Truth or Dare. Abe has never seen
10. The Flaming Lips -The Fearless Freaks. Abe has never seen
9. Aretha Franklin -Amazing Grace. Abe has never seen
8. Bob Dylan -Rolling Thunder Review. Abe has never seen
7. Amy Winehouse -Amy. Highly recommended by Angi. Abe has never seen
6. Metallica -Some Kind of Monster. Abe's seen it
5. LA Punk Rock Scene -The Decline of Western Civilization. Abe's see it
4. Brian Jonestown Massacre/Dandy Warhols -Dig. Abe has never seen
3. David Bowie -Cracked Actor. Abe has never seen
2. The WHO -The Kids Are Alright. Abe has never seen
1. The Rolling Stones -Gimme Shelter. Abe has never seen
Random observations from this. Abe discussed a Pantera documentary that he said should be seen.Some Kind of Monsteris fantastic, makes Dave Mustaine look like a loser and is the worst Metallica album. Abe will watch the Amy Winehouse documentary if Angi watchesSome Kind of Monster, even though it will make her hate Metallica.
You know what will make your horse go a 1000 times faster, cocaine. Wait, I messed that up, you know what will make your jockey on the horse be over 1000 times the limit of a drug, cocaine. That's better. We learned about a horse rider today who was all coked up. For the record, Abe at first assumed that the horse was on coke and no, that horse was not named Angi okay! Angi said though when she was on drugs, she had never hit the absolute limit. In fact, she has not done (hard) drugs in 20 years or as Abe pointed out, since she was 8 years old. Abe wondered that if you were to give the horse cocaine, would it make the horse go faster. Angi then discussed how she used to run marathons after she got clean, now she just runs to the fridge for another bottle of her favorite wine. Yeah, let's get her a sponsorship already Ménage à Trois, she's essentially keeping you in business.
Lastly, we capped off our week discussing kids who have stupid names, as we all know people who have kids who named them something dumb. For example, Abe once knew a girl named Unique, which in my opinion is a perfect name for a girl to have when she grinds on a pole. Angi knows a girl who named her kid Panther, which is also a good name for a sexual predator or financial officer imo. The reason for pointing this out is herbs and spices are becoming hot popular names for kids these days because hipster parents are the absolute worst. For example, the number 1 new name in this trend is Sage, followed by Juniper, Jasmine, Basil and Poppy. Also on this dumb ass list is Thyme, Saffron and Curry. Names that unfortunately didn't make the cut just yet but will probably soon include Garlic Powder and Lemon Pepper.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Loyola Ramblers. They made the Sweet 16 and they're also Abe's Best Bet of the Week.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Male strippers are nasty." - Angi
Quote: "You (Angi) only did what, 6-7 lines a day." - Abe
Quote: "Shouldn't they give it (cocaine) to the horse, wouldn't it make the horse go faster?" - Abe
Quote: "Do I wanna bang brad pitt or michael b jordan? Yeah, Would I? Yeah." - Angi
Quote: "Nobody is going to kiss me on the lips." - Abe