This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's hump day and where most shows start to fall off the wagon (in content terms, not drinking, that never stops here) Angi and Abe start to really pick up. For example, there was a ton of bingeable content today and luckily we don't have to wait week after week to get it into our ears.
Angi is coming out of the closet, as superstitious that is. Abe, on the other hand, says that she is just a degenerate. Angi loves her scratchies and tends to buy them daily. She's hoping to get rich (aren't we all) but she's fine if she ends up just straight evening out. Abe, in turn, pointed out that she just loses all the time so it's hard to figure out who to believe. Anyway, she had a pair of scratchies yesterday that gave her a big bag of nothing. Puzzled as to how she didn't make her money back or get a free ticket, Angi checked her coin and discovered the culprit. That stupid quarter she scratched with was from 2020, year of all the bad luck in the world. You see, when she scratches off a scratchie, it needs to be from a year that she likes and not one she doesn't like. Bad years include when Angi got thrown out of her house, when Gary Cherone joined Van Halen, etc. Abe's superstition is he needs to take a shot before he leaves a basketball court. Angi added that she also has to clean a studio before she leaves it. So that means it's time to hear from roadies, do they have any superstitions that they have to do. Rick called to say he has to put on his right sock first and then his right shoe otherwise his day goes to hell. Uh, Rick, I think that's called OCD. As for me, I've had it ingrained in my brain that you can't leave shoes or hats on a table as it is bad luck. Angi then mentioned to me in a text to never leave your purse on the floor or you'll lose money.
Going from superstitions to the emo station, Angi was dressed as a combination of Darlene fromRoseanne's black phase and Daria today. Her Dashboard Confessional was all about a My Chemical Romance because she was feeling like a Fall Out Boy. Why are we on such an emo jaunt, well it's a double fold reason. The first is because Abe only discovered yesterday! that emo stands for emotional. How he avoided this knowledge for so long I can't understand but this isn't about him. No, poor Angi is suffering today and is seeking some motherly input. You see, she has a 16 year old daughter and it is not an easy task being a mom to one. That' right, her daughter hates her and she needed to know when to look forward to that finally ceasing. It started at 13 and from the sound of it, it most likely won't end until somewhere in her mid twenties. It's just the way it is, there's something about mother's and daughter's that leaves a hate there. The latest incident came in the form of gifts, specifically for her daughter's birthday this past weekend. Angi got her daughter a pretty expensive Fall Out Boy vinyl box set and some nice earrings. Her father (who Angi is not with and hasn't been since the kid was 3,) bought her a car. It should be noted that Angi planned on taking her on a trip as well but that whole pandemic thing killed that. This of course failed to be mentioned and only slipped out in therapy. Abe once again lived his own childhood birthday trauma, when he got a stolen bike from his dad as a birthday gift. That thing had busted breaks that led to Abe breaking his arm. As a one up, Angi got a stolen car from her dad for her 20th birthday. Abe said that perhaps just giving her a better birthday gift might end this hate stalemate. Angi waved off his dumb idea and put on the nostalgia glasses, saying she didn't remember hating her mom. Mind you, her mom kicked her out of the house at 16. Turning to the roadies, perhaps there was the knowledge Angi was seeking there. Jamie's daughter started at 13 as well and didn't stop until she was 25. Lacey's daughter is 6 and though it's good now, she knows it's coming at some point. In fact, she was one of those girls, hating from 13 until her mid twenties. No matter what, mom was always the enemy. Rosemarie said that 20 was the magic age for her now 23 year old daughter to stop hating her. Bill gave a male perspective that he has a 20 year old that hates him and in fact plays him and his wife against one another. So in other words, Angi is basically screwed.
Finally, Angi was curious as to how people leave interactions (like parties and such.) Abe loves to pull The Houdini, where he just disappears into thin air. Jay the Straight does the exact same thing. They have a ton of these things that are the same but called differently, like The Quiet Goodbye, The Swedish Goodbye or The Irish Exit. Abe's thing is he just wants to go so when he does, he up and leaves, no need for a scene. Abe doesn't want to hug or touch anyone, he just wants to be gone. Angi says that this is because Abe is against touch, he is just made of unmoving stone. Angi, for her part, was at a function last month and she was ready to dip out. Scanning the room, she realized that her jumping in would cause an interruption. Plus, if they were to see one person leave then it might cause others to think they should do the same. Angi doesn't bother faking it, she just says she's hammered and heads home. Jay the Straight loves to grab his phone to "make a call" and is gone for good. Abe doesn't like to use the excuse that he's going to the bathroom (another great way to disappear) but he doesn't want people to think he's in there for 93 minutes. This was capped by discussing Angi's annual 4th of July party where Jay the Straight gets litty kitty and is down by 10 P.M. He sneaks to bed and leaves her holding the bag, which if he does it again, will end up probably containing his severed head in it.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Debbie (2x)
Challenger Song Choice: "Ain't My Bitch"
Champion Song Choice: "Pretty Tied Up"
Observation: These two bitches are hateful and now we've got them yanking each other's hair out. This was vaguely fun and it will be interesting to see who takes out who today.
Winner: Traci
Other Topics:
In Abe's world news, apparently a Taco Bell Cantina is opening near him and he could not be more thrilled. Others are apparently not feeling the same sentiment and you know what, he is not having it. He loves the idea of it making its home in hood and Angi has signed off on the idea as well. This led into a discussion about getting sauced, not the kind that Angi is every day when the show is over but the actual Taco Bell sauce. That said, Taco Bell sauce packets are in absolutely high demand right now because of the pandemic. Since it's harder to get them, people are buying them on Ebay in bulk. For Angilocks, she likes her sauce hot, which is the one between mild and burnt anus. This story then dipped back into high school days, where Abe had a Taco Bell buried inside of St. Lawrence. They had 60 cent burritos, which were amazing but nothing compared to those square pizza slices. That's right, we all had them, we all remember them and honestly, they're probably not as great as we thought they were. Abe though has been searching his whole life for that pizza and Angi was curious if someone could actually buy that pizza these days. Into the nostalgia vortex, Angi remembered a kid who always tried to buy her pizza because he ate his so fast. The thing was, he was always lowballing her and she was not parting with that deliciousness for like 50 cents. Plus, factor in that Angi was never fed and it would make total sense why she wanted it so much. Roadie Eric called in to shed some good news, you could buy that pizza from a place called Gordon Food Services. I'm assuming that the moment the show ended, Abe ran out to buy a crate of it.
So, as we've heard before, Abe has barely had the chance to meet anyone at iHeart since you know, that pesky pandemic has kept them all away. As we've also heard, when he does meet people, Angi swoops in and runs them off or ruins his relationship with them. This list includes Brandon, the Greek lady, the front desk, etc. There are a few people he likes in the building but for the most part, he goes out of his way to avoid people. Angi added that she likes everyone (which is a stark contrast to offair where Angi totally hates everyone.) The point or purpose of rewarming this corpse of a topic is all about the most annoying co-worker behaviors. The list includes but isn't limited to too many sick days, being constantly late, those dirty know it alls, being too pessimistic, complaining or whining too much, stinking (be it breath or like food on your clothes,) being bad at their job, being lazy, saying "I got this" and of course, being too loud. "Too loud" was the clear frontrunner, catching 85% of the vote on how a coworker is annoying. Abe chimed in that he hates when people are working from home since they're laying on their stomachs (a point he can't let go of.) You shouldn't be able to just lay down while working! Roadie Katy called in to tell Abe he has it wrong and that people working from home don't lay on their stomachs. Another peeve, when your coworker tries to get out of things by saying their internet does not work. Daphne, who is a teacher, said her annoyance is when the assistants don't do anything. As for roadie Cal, his annoyance comes from co-workers who use speakerphones on their cell or office phone.
Lastly, Abe had a question for Angi for once, has she ever been in a men's bathroom? I'd say there's a better chance of getting a more specific answer of which ones she hasn't been in. He asked because he wanted to know if she knew about urinals. Specifically the height of them, etc. The reason he brings this up is because when he went to the bathroom in the iHeart studio this morning, there was a pube on top of the urinal. So unless Kevin Garnett was going there, someone is a pig. Angi suggested that it may have just been a hair but Abe was not letting it go, it was a pube. Abe then went on to explain the excellence of urinals, his friend even has one in his basement. Angi found this to be disgusting but Abe thinks it is awesome. Even though she thinks they are gross, Abe says they are convenient and much better than a toilet. During this, Angi had a lightbulb appear over her head. Cheerios, a toilet bowl, an aiming game, could she perhaps have finally reached the point of coming up with her own Abe Kanan Get Rich Quick Scheme That Will Eventually Go Nowhere. We'll see but until then, guess we're stuck with them on the show still.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Manti Te'o. It was supposed to go to Cathy the Greek, Abe's girlfriend who basically does everything for Abe's Ivory Tower. Angi thinks that Cathy the Greek is Georgette Glass.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "If anyone doesn't want a Taco Bell, they should be slapped in the face." - Abe
Quote: "You (Angi) ever put something in your mouth at the same time, like two things." - Abe
Quote: "You just bang and do crack and heroin and drink." - Abe
Quote: "You shouldnt be able to lay while Working." - Abe
Quote: "All DJ's at high school dances are pedophiles." - Abe
Quote: "I've been around non pedophile clowns." - Abe
Quote: "Every time I've gotten a massage, I've wondered 'are they gonna go up there, are they gonna go down there.'" - Angi
Quote: "Do I need to throw Cheerios in the toilet for aiming practice?" - Angi
Quote: "You're the one who comes in her emo everyday, I come in tap dancing." - Abe
Quote: "I know if I could pick, I would be with a dude." - Abe