This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Oh god, it's Chainsaw Friday and I couldn't love it more. The sound of a chainsaw chainsawing through a chainsaw while my chainsaw watches me chainsaw gets my chainsaw so revved up that it just wants to keep cutting through chainsaws with chainsaw powered chainsaws. Sorry, I got a little chainsawed there, let's move on.
As we've been hearing for what feels like forever now, Abe got his first place (a condo) recently. While he lives there alone, his girlfriend has been given keys (mainly so she can come in and renovate while he's working or out eating subs.) He is a generous boyfriend though, she has a drawer there to go with the keys (which he'll probably take away when she's done as well.) Anyway, the point of all this was to discuss if Abe would live inside a haunted house. He said, depending on the price, he'd be open to it whereas Angi said no way in hell. Abe corrected his point to say that his mindset would change if there had been a murder or a masscare within. As for others, 38% said they would not buy a house that might be due to superstition. Abe figures if it's a haunted house and they weren't killed in a way that would spawnThe Grudge, Abe assumed they would be good ghosts. Angi is just looking for a succubus to come into her room and play with her cash and prizes while Jay the Straight watches NCAA and wrestling for the next month. Other reasons why people didn't want to buy a house included things like bad vibes. In a side point, Abe mentioned that he actually skipped out on a place he was viewing because he got bad vibes from it. After investigating, it turns out some guy had died in there. Unlucky addresses, like ones with 666 or 69 in the address. A street with an unlucky name was also on the list, followed by an unlucky time of year (like you know, probably around Halloween or during a global pandemic.) Rounding out the list was overall bad feng shui and being close to a cemetery. This led to Abe saying one of the most Abe quotes I've heard in quite some time, which you can find below. Angi went on to explain that when she lived in her old place, there were crypts around there that were just sitting around above ground. So when the zombie apocalypse finally happens after the vaccine causes people to turn into flesh hungry creatures, at least we have a few places to hide.
Getting to what I like to consider the big topic of the morning, that one we can anchor the rest of the show around. Today's involved a literal fill in the blank, the posed question that she had involving knowledge. This time around, you don't really know someone until __________? Some examples given were "until you meet their parents." Another was "you see where they grew up." Abe's stand out way of feeling someone out and really knowing them involves going out to eat with someone. Who will overanalyze and watch how you treat the staff, including the bartender. If you're mean to those people, it means that you're clearly an a-hole. As for Angi, if she gets in your car, she's going to ask for your aux cord. She wants to know what you like and what you listen to and if she finds something she does not like, you will be kicked out of her life faster than she can down a bottle of wine. Seriously, if you like bad music, you probably should stop reading these notes as well because I hate you. If Angi was to get in Abe's car, he said that she would hear "Blood and Tears" by Danzig. I'm honestly surprised it's not Drew McIntyre's entrance music. Turning to the roadies, we got their thoughts on things. Dan said "when you see someone drunk." Spot on btw but also a hard one because depending on what some people drink, they may act differently (cough me cough.) Head Roadie John the Stalker said "when you borrow them some money." Rick "you see how they deal with customer service on the phone." Abe was totally onboard with, pointing out that if you flip out on them, you're an idiot because they are the ones that are trying to help you out.
Finally, a Tik Toker did something really stupid (because he's on Tik Tok so that right there should tell you the issue.) He felt that his wife was getting a little too fat so he decided to take into his own hands how to tell her his feelings on it. He bought her a dress that was a few sizes too small and left a note on it saying "I can't wait to see you in this." Her response was much better, where she left out a box of condoms that were too big for him. If Jay the Straight pulled a stunt like this, Angi would kill him (correction, maim him in some way.) The contemplation here is what are bad ways to tell someone to lose some weight. She pointed out that the husband didn't need to point it out, the wife already knows this. A good way to go about it is to not approach it and let them bring it up. You could also lead by example, go to the gym and perhaps they'll be inspired to do the same. This moved into Abe discussing his order when he goes to Portillo's. He gets a bacon cheeseburger with extra mayo and onions. He also gets himself a Maxwell Street polish also covered in onions. Topping that off is fries covered in mayo and BBQ sauce. I think I'm starting to see now why he has to eat shirtless all the time. However, Abe rounds out that mess of a meal with nice healthy water. In fact, the only time he tends to really drink soda is when he goes to Hooters. Angi used to love soda as well, especially when she was a bartender. She pointed out though that tossing soda is an amazing way to lose weight. For her, it's all about La Croix, a drink that hints so subtly in its flavor it's like a gentle whisper across a room. Abe in turn told her that she's just fancy. I personally think that she's just seeking a sponsorship. You hear that Portillo's and La Croix, you have two willing and cheap individuals who will do anything to showcase your products.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Eric (3x)
Challenger Song Choice: "I Dreamed I Died"
Champion Song Choice: "Last in Line"
Observation: Old timey slang, child abuse, falling asleep, political humor, high energy, blow up dolls ... shrug, this Request Wars had everything and yet it was still boring. That said, good song choices either way.
Winner: Eric
Other Topics:
Hey, did you know that The Angi Taylor Show is the number 1 show with truckers (well it is, so consider yourself learned.) Some insight that they might be able to offer is against this list of the best and worst states for driving. Things factored in were like traffic, accidents, fatalities and over things that might weigh toward the good or bad. Anyway, the list started with Utah being the best. This apparently made sense to Abe who imagines that there is no traffic there because everyone is banging their 3 wives. Angi said Minnesota isn't bad, since they have moderate traffic. The worst is California, no big shocker there because if you know anything about Cali, it's that the traffic there absolutely sucks. Another according to Abe explained to us that they all have paper license plates there. There's no tickets, it's just hell on Earth. Also among the bad were Wisconsin, Ohio, Pennslyania and Louisiana. Angi sought the input of truckers and the phones lit up during the song break. Once returned and the phones were cleared, Angi revealed that the worst straight for drivers according to truckers is ... drumroll ... Illinois, duh.
We know it's Friday but here's a tip that you should focus on when you return to work on Monday. Micro breaks, 5 minute little windows to unwind are the literal way to go. If you take micro breaks, your productivity will go through the ceiling. It has been proven by science that this actually works. So go to your boss, yell at them and tell them that you need to get more breaks every so often. Abe had an even better idea, pretend that you're a smoker. When he worked at Walmart back in the day, all these people spent the whole time taking smoke breaks, so you should be able to too. Even if you don't smoke, say you do and get your ton of breaks. Angi went on to discuss that episode ofFriendswhere smoking was taken up to fit in and if we've ever learned anything from TV, it's to imitate it always.
Lastly, Head Roadie Trashman Tim checked in from White Sox spring training to give an update of what has been going on. Well, he lost a ton at blackjack at the casino he was staying at. While at Spring training though, he took plenty of pictures. In fact, he sent Angi and Abe a picture yesterday of their beloved Moncada. Let's face it though, unless he was playing his hit song, Angi and Abe were interested but not completely motivated. He also got a video of Joe McEwing saluting Angi when Trashman yelled out her name. His closing point, the White Sox are looking absolutely great unlike the newly remained Chicago Football Team, whomp whomp.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Mother Nature. It's the last day of winter, tomorrow is the first day of Spring. The light at the end of the tunnel, we're almost there!
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Doesn't Billie Eilish bang her brother?" - Abe
"If you're an hourly employee, you should pretend you're a smoker." - Abe
"One time I was drunk and I bought my mom a lemon tree." - Angi
"Do you see cemeteries sometimes where it looks like they throw the bodies anywhere ... the bodies are in the street." - Abe
Quote: "You're (Angi) the only person who plays blackjack for no money and enjoys it." - Abe