This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Angi was off sorts as the day came crashing toward an end and Abe was just out of his mind, plus the studio had Rufio and Jason Brown inside it so everything was just a tad bit messy by the time I walked in. That's what I get for writing these notes all morning!
Legendary rock star Paul Stanley checked in this morning to discuss his new albumSoul Stationbut before we had that broken down for us, the talk turned to weiners. I know you're thinking, Abe pounced right out the gate and onto Paul. Ironically no, this was about The Weiner's Circle, the legendary hotdog joint that Paul apparently loves. Angi brought up their famous chocolate shake to him and well, if you know, then you know. Paul also mentioned another favorite Chicago spot of his, the Scaragon Brawlroom. Onward to his new album, it is a whole album of soul covers. His stand behind this being is that he just doesn't understand how people don't listen to different musical genres. The way he sees it, music is either good or bad, nothing else matters. Angi then went into a pizza that he had posted on his Twitter that was cut into 4 different specific slices (I know, riveting.) A finally note before Abe was allowed out of his cage concerned KISS, which will apparently last forever. Unrestrained and short on time, Abe was allowed to finally do his Paul Stanley "Love Gun" impression for the man himself and he absolutely loved it, saying it made what he does worthwhile. Angi suggested that Paul probably get an STD test after associating with Abe. Ironically, this isn't the first time Abe has interviewed him (and probably talked to him, you know Abe has him on speed dial.) The last time they talked, they discussed 80's music and sang together. When it was all said and done, of course a "sus" shot was needed.
Let's tackle a question, shall we. As you know, we here on The Angi Taylor Show love our morning questions. A list was presented and it contained the following: mac and cheese, butter, pizza, milk, bread, bacon, pasta, cheese, burgers and peanut butter. If your answer to this was what are you talking about you gay dumbass, then you would be close but not exactly on track. The list is actually the Top 10 foods people could not live without. People had even said they would go through literal pain to get their hands on these things. Angi, who didn't give her answer as to what she wouldn't be able to live without but I'm sure we could guess ... glug, glug, glug, posed the question to Abe. Mayo obviously and he loves to put that ish on everything, bacon cheeseburgers, subs, etc. Angi was of course disgusted as one should be. Turning to Twitter, she pulled a few roadie answers: ass (eyeroll,) Reese's Cups, Flaming Hot Cheetos, Portillos. Abe commented he likes to put chocolate in his mouth along with Cheetos, which finally made Angi realize Abe will more than likely die before her, me and probably half the audience. Roadie Bill called in to mention is go to is steak, which he has at least twice a week. After a bit of back and forth and a mention of the iHeart app, Bill became our 45th Head Roadie. A true privilege and he's going to be thrilled when Abe randomly texts him at 3 A.M. saying "You up, I got mayo." Anyway, I just wanted to point out that I know the whole point of this was just the weekly plug to attempt to get Abe a job as the Hellmann's spokesperson. Oh, as for me, my go to is pizza and mozzarella sticks, though I don't think I'd endure a explosive barbed wire deathmatch to get to them.
Finally, let's cap this off with a question, how many days should one wait before calling a girl back. The classic answer according to brobible movieSwingersis 3 days. Before she could even get into this point, Angi came for blood and went after matchmakers and life coaches, saying both are absolutely stupid. some idiot matchmaker loser made a point saying that people should wait 12 dates before sex. It should be noted that show husband Jay the Straight was allowed to get it the first night. The reason Angi thinks this is stupid is because if you're not making an effort or trying, Angi would just assume that you're just not interested. The conversation detoured very slightly when we touched upon exactly what bases you could get to on a date with Angi (really it comes down to how much she had been drinking.) The problem though with sexual activity is that it tends to blind you from obvious red flags and you're not going to see that they are crazy. Abe offered up a tip, which was to handle your business before you go about texting a girl. If you're no longer pent up and you still want to talk to her, then you may actually like them and it's not just about sex. It then moved to texting, as in don't text Tansy who's in a relationship because her boyfriend might find out and kill you. A good boyfriend to have would be someone like Nightmare, Angi's prison boyfriend who will probably never be getting out of jail. Abe feels bad for guys and girls in jail, not because they're there but because their girls and fellas are cheating on them on the outside. (Notice btw how hard this detours, story of this show in a nutshell.) Anyway, the point of this is that Angi wants you to send the show mail from jail. In fact, did you know that The Angi Taylor Show is number 1 in prisons, Indiana and everyone who drives a truck (all forms.) Returning back to the original point, Angi thinks the whole 12 date rule is absolutely garbage. If a date is going good, you are going to be showered with cash and prizes. The final bits of this giant mess were this: Angi "supposedly" did not date a hot firefighter named Brad and you should always have a side piece ready to text in case your current piece is not giving you what you want.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Mick (2x Champ)
Challenger Song Choice: "Raining Blood"
Champion Song Choice: "The Red"
Observation: The smack talk got down low, dirty and just all sorts of filthy. This was pretty good but I feel like Mick has the stronger choice.
Winner: Mick
Other Topics:
Spring has finally arrived here in Chicago (which basically means it will be 70 today and snowing by the weekend.) That said, since the good weather has made its appearance, the rats are finally coming back out to party. This is bad news for Angi whose neighbor has motion censor lights and so her neighborhood looks like a rave every night as the disgusting monsters scurry by. Seriously, these lights are going off every 30 seconds and if there was some good house music playing, you could have a pretty damn good time. Angi's suggestion was to release the coyotes back out to help deal with this problem but of course, that brings its own issue. As Abe stated (of course) the coyotes end up attacking limp people. Angi went a bit more realistic and explained that they're more inclined to attack dogs. Abe explained that you're a little bitch if a coyote attacks you.
Next up, a man wearing a dark trench coat is standing behind me right now and wants me to ask a question to all of you. Is there a conspiracy theory that you think is real? You know, all the classics like the moon landing being faked, 9/11 being an inside job, chemtrails are altering us from above, Princess Diana was murdered by the Nazi royal family, JFK was shot by 25 people and the CIA, the Earth is straight up flat, Bigfoot is out there, the Illuminati controls everything? Did you check off any of these boxes, good then this guy here wants your name and address so he can come talk to you. Abe actually believes that democrats and republicans are working to make us fight one another so that they can keep all the money. Roadie Susan called in to claim that she used to think flu shots were fake. Terry was spinning some yarn about Canada and naked people. If you buy into any of this, well good for you but I have one that I know is straight up real. Covid, covid is real and it's killed a lot of people so mask up and distance, we are close to the end and we can't fail now.
Lastly, we returned to Drunk Ninja News today and were treated to a twofer. The first was an Amazon driver who decided to take a detour through a McDonald's drive through, wasted out of his mind at Noon with a truck full of packages. He proceeded to fail the field sobriety test and a bottle of Montebello (which is not a type of cheese Abe) was find inside his van. Angi, btw, hates the title of this segment and can't understand why they're called drunk ninjas. She assumed it involved a lot of drunk swaying and movement like a ninja. The reality is it involves wearing a mask and being drunk. Anyway, our other drunk ninja was Angi Taylor, local radio hostess who had drank enough this morning that she could not remember what station she was on today.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Paul Stanley. Mainly because Abe MeToo'ed him.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "You (Angi) eat everything (when you sleep): spiders, roaches, flies, bees, moths, butterflies." - Abe
Quote: "Any grown man that says 'hi mother' is so creepy." - Angi
Quote: "Do they still have Rubmaps?" - Abe
Quote: (After hearing about a alcohol bottle found in a car) "Is it a type of cheese?" - Abe
Quote: "I can't listen and read at the same time." - Angi
New Head Roadie: Bill, Head Roadie of BFE's