This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's Tuesday, we all hate Tuesday so that's just the start of the turd sandwich we're probably going to munch on today. It's not all bad though right because after all, the sun is shining and it's warm enough to start melting some of this snow. Speaking of melting, you know what else is (and if you thought I was going to say Angi here, you're half right.)
That's right, Angi's ceiling at her house is melting. The initial assumption was that a pipe had burst but that doesn't make sense with the weather being better now. You see, it started in the bathroom, then it went to the living room and spread to two others. Local handyman Jay the Straight climbed up onto the roof to find the root of the problem. It turned out the drainage hole on the roof was all blocked up because of the ice and snow, which was causing things to seep into the house all around. He chopped up the ice floe and got things moving again but Angi still isn't sure if there isn't a bigger issue. She needs to hire herself a roofer, so add that to the list of her house woes. Tack on painting as well, as there are water stains that need to be painted now too. If anything, it's just one more piece of the death trap design that is her house. It sways and shakes when it's windy, it leaks when it snows, who knows what's next. She does want us to keep in mind though that if she doesn't show up to work one day (and I'm there in her place,) please drive by and make sure the house hasn't fallen on her. New homeowner Abe, on the other hand, feels a bit better since he got a condo and any issues are on the building owner.
A question was raised and by the time we got through it, I still don't think I understood it. What is the new stupid? Things that are absurdly dumb that people are doing currently, I think that's what this was all about. Examples included naming your kid after a Game of Thrones character, pretending to like quinoa, posting naked pics of yourself on social media and adding a quote of Harriet Tubman to it to seem classy, handlebar mustaches, bragging on social media, people who retweet compliments, breastfeeding a 7 year old, not wearing a mask, not getting vaccinated, hipsters bringing back cassette tapes, Facebook conversations with your spouse, people on the train with their speakers turned up for all to here. I think this was topic is just a literal hodgepod of things that Angi and Abe hate more than what are stupid, again there was a lot to take in here as you can see. A few roadies chimed in as well. Bob said driving alone and wearing a mask. Head Roadie Sandy mentioned people who like their own social media statuses. Head Roadie Jim said gender reveals parties turning into what they have.
Finally, a dude who clearly is the new stupid did something very dumb. He sent a selfie to the 60! girls he was talking to at the same time and did it accidentally as a group. He sent out a half assed apology afterward but the damage was basically done. So this brought up a great topic, have you ever sent out a wrong text to the wrong person. This is literally a topic tailor made for Abe as he does this all the time. Of course, being the schemer that he is, he always has a great way to cover his tracks. He'll respond to an accidental text with a joke or way to deflect as though it was totally meant to be what he said. Angi is wise to Abe's secret now though so he had better watch what he says. Roadies were asked for their own accidental bad texts and there were some amazing ones. Shannon was once sent a text from her dad that was meant for his girlfriend at the time. It was a junk pic followed by "are you ready to go to pound town?" She did not let him live that one down, which is hilarious. Abe in all his Abe ways, asked if her dad was Guy Fieri. Phil sent a voice text to his 15 year old son once, furious and saying he was going to kick his ass. Well, kick and lick sound the same and so Phil apparently was offering to lick his son's ass. Stephanie sent a text to her now husband that they should watch porn together, only it was sent to her mom by accident. It was never discussed again and it's been 10 years. Personally, I've done this but I've also moved on to just straight telling it as it is now because if I screw up, I might as well stir the pot.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Matt (3x)
Challenger Song Choice: "Butterfly"
Champion Song Choice: "Slave to the Grind"
Observation: Much better today, not great but a hell of a lot better. I mean, the choice is obvious here right? No one wants that god awful Crazy Town song.
Winner: Dave
Other Topics:
Do you have a clean car? If you do, good for you because most people do not and are absolute pigs in theirs. That doesn't apply to Abe obviously, who has the cleanest car on the planet. Outside of course all the straws lying around in it but those are for doing coke. Anyway, a study showcased that a ton of people's cars are almost so filled up with junk, there is almost no room for passengers. On top of that, these people also haven't cleaned their cars in months and more than half can't remember the last time they cleaned it. Tack on the spilled drinks on the floor, cigarette burns in the ceiling and all those bags of garbage everywhere. Oh right, Abe seems to think people have literal trash bags full of garbage hidden away in their cars, apartments, etc. Somehow that turned to Angi who explained that she hates beat up, nasty looking shoes. All this talk takes us back to Angi's grandma who once told us that a dirty house means dirty vagina. Yeah, this was one of those conversations.
Onward to Drunk Ninja news, which gave us a pair of drunk morons today to roll our eyes at. These two idiots, who were 19 and 20, had a run in with the police on Sat in Penn. For whatever reason, the twosome made their way to the police station to file a complaint. They drove, because that makes sense and when they arrived, the police saw that they were underage and drunk. One of the dummies was arrested for drunk driving and the other, who started acting up, was arrested for drunk driving and disorderly conduct. The moral of today's story is this: Don't get hammered and drive to a police station.
Lastly, former White Sox player Micah Johnson called in to tell the roadies how he's going to make them rich. At least that's what the point of this call was but it got a little muddled and you should probably listen to the podcast to understand this better. He retired from sports and became an artist. How he intends to make the listeners rich is through a combo that is part art, part bitcoin. Aku NFT is a graphic visual virtual character based story that showcases community and having no limits. The episodes of this story are being sold on a blockchain. You can buy, resell and reinvest in these pieces of digital art. Just the other day, resellers made up to half a million dollars selling this very first chapter of the story. Though that one is now only open for scooping and reselling, the second chapter is coming soon. After being collected, all of this digital art can be showcased in a digital frame. If you're curious, check it out atniftygateway.com.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Roseanne. She's thirsty for Kanye and is posting bathing suit pics on the gram for him.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "We wanna know who's listening, first of all so I don't talk smack about you." - Abe
Quote: "Ugly people should threaten that they'll create an OnlyFans so they can make money." - Abe
Quote: "I talk smack about people all day in my text threads about all people." - Abe
Quote: "No one should have to see their dad's wang!" - Angi
Quote: "As you know, I'm known for my good breath." - Abe
Head Roadie: Michael - Head Roadie of School District U-46