This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Ohhhh God, ohhh yes, it's finally here! It's Chainsaw Friday!!!! On top of that, it's Jack Daniels Friday!!!! Furthermore, it's going to be -35 (w/ windchill) this weekend!!!! Wait a second, that last one is terrible. Ugh, I guess now that I've killed my own hype, it's going to be double fisting bottles of Jack Daniels Friday (and Saturday and Sunday and Monday....)
We've done it, we've come so far and the time is finally here. After an agonizing season of ups and downs, trade offs and replacement bets, tons of money won and so much more lost, the end of the season is here. That's right, it's finally time for Best Bet of the Week: Super Bowl Edition. Are you ready, are you excited, is Abe going to steer you into a ton of cash with his amazing pick this week? Before we get to that though, we need you to go big on this last bet. Sell all your silver, bitcoin, doge coin, Gamestop stock, AMC stock, Blackberry stock, sell your house to a pawn shop because you are going to make the biggest bank of the year! This week, Abe says take heads on the coin toss. Wait, a prop bet, one that Abe has lost for the last five years in a row. Oh go...odness, yep, let's just run it. Afterall, he's probably totally due for a win. Remember, if you end up penniless and homeless, that is your fault though.
So, Angi brought up an interesting question, what did you used to steal? This was brought on by an absolute idiot of a girl who stole an ID and had it confiscated for being fake. Instead of cutting her losses, she decided to call the police about the incident. So, we started breaking into things that we stole when we were out of control teens. Token show square Abe stole a 30 cent washer once. That's right, a 30 cent washer. The kicker, he returned, paid for it and then forgot it at the store. Angi was a candy thief as a kid and she loved it until she got caught. However, it was the store clerk that got her but her own mother. To make up for it, she forced her to write a note confessing her crime and it made Angi never steal again. The roadies came at full force to confess their crimes. Matt would steal discount games from Target as a kid. Justin would pretend to throw money in a basket so he could steal chocolate milks as a kid at school. Brandon would steal TV's by swapping their barcode with Tic-Tacs at Walmart. Josh used to steal condoms because he was embarrassed by buying them. Bob used to steal alcohol when he was a stock boy and in turn, sell it to his friends. Allison used to steal the copper mugs when she would buy Moscow Mules and salsa bowls as well. I have my own stories but I'm going to keep them for off air conversations with Angi and Abe.
Finally, today was Chainsaw Friday as I couldn't contain myself to announce but this show is going to go even bigger with giveaways next week. That's right, next week Angi and Abe will be giving out a divorce to one lucky couple! Each day next week will highlight a new couple and their issues, culminating on a winner being chosen and given a $5,000 divorce consultation. All the runner ups will get a $50 Lover's Lane gift card so I guess that's something. Then again, they might strangle their partner with a pair of edible underwear, guess we'll see how things go.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Patrick
Challenger Song Choice: "Nutshell"
Champion Song Choice: "Walk"
Observation: Becky came in hard and slammed Patrick's face into her glass ceiling but damn he really went back and hit her with a shovel. God, that was some hot smack talk and this could go either way because of song choice but I would go Patrick.
Winner: Patrick
Other Topics:
Rounding out the notes today is a pair of Super Bowl points, because really what else is there to discuss. Angi, being the graceful wonderful treat that she is, gave up some amazing deals for Sunday. Applebees has a deal so good, Abe couldn't stop screaming. If you order $40 in food, you get 40 free wings. To say Abe lost his mind and it was all just screaming and salivating. Red Lobster has a bundle with a bunch of stuff in it but all that anyone would care about is the inclusion of Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Hooters will let you net 42 wings and 2 sides for $40. Buffalo Wild Wings is trying to one up things by offering free wings, if of course the Super Bowl goes into overtime. As Abe continued to lose his mind the whole way through, Angi basically had to smack Abe to get him back in line.
Lastly, there was a discussion of the Best and Worst Halftime Shows. Since having nice things never happens on this show, we began with the three worst first. Gloria Estefan/Dorothy Hamill - this literally just sounds like an absolute snoozefest. Phil Collins/Christina Aguilera - Phil alone would be okay but like for a Super Bowl performance, who would want that. The worst, according to this list was The Black Eyed Peas and I do remember that being bad but eh, whatever. As for the five best, counting backwards it was J-Lo/Shakira, Janet Jackson's Tit /Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, Michael Jackson and of course, the GOAT Prince. Angi and Abe swooned over the number 1 pick because they both knew it belonged up there. That said, are you not looking forward to The Weeknd this weekend? You're in luck, Rock 95.5 will be putting on their own halftime show with live musical performances. So drop the R&B Pop and tune in to the Rock!
10 o' Clock Toast:
Tom Brady. He deserves it, the GOAT of football. If Tampa wins, they get off on Monday (they'll be there anyway, calm down.)
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "There's nothing that annoys me more than Instagram influencers or people who try to be Instagram influencers." - Angi
Quote: "I can't stand Shakira's voice, I hate the yodeling." - Angi
Quote: "What do they do, do they sit there in the ice house and do heroin?" - Abe
Quote: "When I worked at Walmart, everyone stole everything!" - Abe
Quote: "I went to therapy to stop talking to squirrels." - Angi