This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
I don't know about you guys but I'm in a celebratory mood today, I couldn't believe it when I heard but today is Abe's half b-day. Couldn't believe it because this is about as stupid as people who take pictures of their kids with like 34 months on those cloth label things. After they turn 1, you really need to cut that garbage out. Anyway, onward to the notes.
As I was saying, Abe got a coupon from Fogo de Chão to celebrate his half birthday. It should be noted by the way, for those who don't want to do the math, that Abe's birthday is August 4th. From this, we were treated to a detailed explanation of how Abe goes about eating at Fogo. He goes with Bass, fellow radio person and disgusting slob (as Abe refers to himself and Bass in his Slob Blog Podcast.) The two of them eat themselves stupid and afterward enact an elaborate strategy to hide their disgusting bathroom habits. When Abe is full from round 1, he goes to the bathroom and just lays waste, absolutely destroys it. When he comes out, he pretends to be on a business call, pretending to sell Doge Coin or whatever. When back at the table, Bass wanders off and does the same thing. This is then when Round 2 begins. Angi can't say that she does something this revolting but she does do this with alcohol. She refers to it as the "puke and rally." These two really are cut from the same degenerate cloth, which is why they work so well together. I should probably add that I texted them that they should call Abe's strategy the "plump and dump."
Shortly after, the show went completely off the rails and never got back on track. Somehow Angi discovered that Pringles has decided to make Trey Songz their new sponsor. For the record, when he comes up in the rest of these notes, I shall be referring to him only as Trey Dongz and if you don't like that, tough! Anyway, somehow Angi discovered that Trey Dongz has an OnlyFans account and furthermore, he is packing a literal mack truck between his legs. Losing her mind slowly but surely, Angi didn't know what to do with this information. She began by announcing it on air, then spent time looking at it to the point Abe had to make sure the show did not crash and burn. Still not content, she raced down the halls to show the picture off to anyone in the building. This was not the sastiation she needed however and so she went outside and took to the streets, showing the pic to random strangers. More would come later but know that this went on for quite some time.
Finally, on today's edition of Roadie Roundtable, Roadie Kyle has a really self induced stupid problem. He has a girlfriend, who he doesn't live with, that he has been dating for several years. However, she is not the only special lady in his life because apparently his mother is his best friend. She does everything for him, including cooking food for him and doing his laundry. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that they watch Hallmark movies together. It should be noted here that Kyle is 38 years old. His girlfriend resents this (or is embarrassed by it) and she calls him a little bitch because of their relationship. So the question for you roadies is, how should he handle being called a little bitch by his girlfriend? Roadie Rosa called in to say that he'd better grow up and man up. As for our beloved hosts, they did give their opinions. Abe basically stated outright that he probably is a little bitch. He then went on to say it would be better for her to be around or not and that it could be worse. His mom could be a crackhead, then how would things go. Yeah, this was stupid and Kyle is a little bitch. That's it, that's what I took from the Roadie Roundtable today.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Mario (6x)
Challenger Song Choice: "Duality"
Champion Song Choice: "Master of Puppets"
Observation: Fun Fact: Metallica is making their 4th appearance on Request Wars (Damn it, Groundhog Day was the other day!) Patrick brought a bad phone and bad talk, Mario slapped Schaumburg into next week. It seems though that Schaumburg was furious.
Winner: Patrick
Other Topics:
Angi began the day discussing one of reality TV's finest (trash) TV showsMarried at First Sight. The premise of the show is simple, two idiots are matched together but don't meet until they are ready to walk down the aisle. It apparently also always features a hot girl and a crazy guy. Seriously, the guy is almost always a mess. The pair is then married off and some of them will bang, some of them don't. The next day, these pairs of couples (there's a handful that get married) are whisked away on a honeymoon the next day. Well on this year's edition of the show, they're sending them to Vegas. Angi went on to emphasis that there is no place on Earth that will make you show your ass quicker. When you gamble, you see someone's true character. They are tested by all the girls and guys around them. Ironically, this show has the highest rate of successful marriages of any garbage dating show. Abe explained that he watched a season where the groom was covered in moles on his face and it made the bride cry. Now, years later, they are still married. Angi went on to explain that she once had a mole which she had removed and it greatly upset her then 3 year old daughter when she did. The point of all of this mess, Angi said you need to watch this show.
So Valentine's Day is coming up and the one thing I think of when I think of a romantic getaway is Lowe's. Yes that's right, the super hardwaresqe retailer is offering 50 couples a night of what they are calling Lowemance. That's right, they will be able to pick one of 10 romantic cities where they can splash, sling and roll around in paint on a giant canvas to create giant art. Basically, it's a bad episode ofThe Bachelorstarring you. Abe absolutely hates this idea btw. Angi was not keen on it either, if she's going to Lowe's, she wants to get nailed #rimshot. His intention for Valentine's Day is to do nothing because he's busy closing on a condo and of course, Drew McIntyre didn't respond to his DM's. As for Angi, her and Jay the Straight will be ordering a heart shaped pizza and just watching Netflix. Me, well I'll be drunk like every other weekend night.
Lastly, after seemingly getting her fill of Trey Dongz sausage flavored Pringles can, she had a light bulb appear over her head. She remembered that she had a pic of her and Trey Dongz from years ago and so she tweeted it out. Big mistake as the tweet blew up, even more so when her best friend Jemele Hill retweeted it. Seriously, the fire that spread from her likes all the way to her DM's, that turned into "it's as big as a baby arm" d pic central. It also got filled to the brim with DM's from creeps. Poor husband Jay the Straight decided to chime in as well, letting Angi know that the locks are going to be changed when she gets home. Of course, due to all this a bet was hashed, with the over/under being 8 d pics in her DM's by tomorrow morning. Angi added to please not DM her d pics but do but don't but do. No seriously don't but do.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Trey Songz (Trey Dongz.) He's the story of the century because he has an OnlyFans sex tape and he has an incredibly massive Pringles can dong.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I care about one thing and that's gambling. coin toss, squares, prop bets, strip cards." - Abe
Quote: "Why do people in 2021 still have tons of skin tags and moles?" - Abe
Quote: "Will we die before the Bears win a Super Bowl?" - Abe
Quote: "And I'm not joking, in the video, it's the size of a horse" - Abe
Quote: "You (Angi) were looking at it (the Trey Songz video) and I just glanced by it on my way to the bathroom." - Abe