This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
We've done it, we've finally hit Chainsaw Friday once more and Angi and I are focused and ready for the weekend. Abe, on the other hand, is mentally living inside of a Wall Street fairy tale. While Angi steered the ship today, Abe spent most of the morning on his phone trying to get rich.
Hey, remember Super Bowl parties, where you would get together with friends and family to hate watch teams you don't like, indulge in sometimes great but mostly garbage commericials and eat and drink yourself stupid? Yeah, guess what, that's not happening this year so forget that whole concept. Well Google decided to showcase, since the game is still occurring, what the most popular Super Bowl food is in every state. For example, 7 states love Cake and 7 Layer Dip (cake, cake ... at a Super Bowl party?!) Also popular among plenty of states is chili, buffalo chicken dip and spinach dip. So what about us in Illinois, what do we love? Jalapeno poppers apparently, that's what we love to shove down our throats during the big game. Curious what Alaska likes, no, well I'm going to put it in anyway. They love paleo salmon cakes, so yeah. On the personal side of this, Abe explained that he loves to go over to his Uncle Rick's house with the rest of the family and they enjoy wings, sliders and dips. Abe also explained as a kid he used to like cake but some old wretch came along and ruined being a chubby kid for him. As for me, I just like to stockpile mozzarella sticks from Costco, warm some up for the game and then regret every waking moment of my life as I watch the game and eat them aimlessly.
A new day, a new Roadie Roundtable that enraged me ... again. So, Ellie loves her boyfriend and likes to indulge in his hobbies. For example, he loves wrestling and so she watches it with him to be supportive, big mistake. Now he wants to take her to Wrestlemania and she just does not want to go. Her question is, should she tell him that she's been faking her interest in wrestling or bite the bullet and just go and enjoy the show? Abe solved this one almost immediately, he offered to take her place and go with her. Turning to the roadies, Troy told her to suck it up buttercup and go enjoy it, especially getting out of lockdown finally. Keith suggested be up front before the whole thing builds up too much. Midway through this, Abe continued to lobby that he should be taken. Brian agreed with Abe, if you hate wrestling it doesn't matter because it's a free trip. Angi told her own story about how Jay the Straight once took her to Monday Night Raw and told her to just enjoy the ride. Angi basically said that if she goes, she's not going to see the beach but all her time will be spent scouting for wrestlers. Abe suggested that Ellie go and bang Drew McIntyre. When it was all said and done, Ellie decided she's going to go.
Finally, are there things that people love to brag about that you don't find all that impressive? Abe's thing was about high school sports, they simply don't matter once you're outside of high school. Angi has a laundry list of things she doesn't care about: fantasy football, people who think their kids are the second coming of Christ and when a girl was a pageant girl. Roadie Dan called in not to talk about what he's not impressed about but to mention he was a pinewood derby champion. This, of course, led to an Abe discussion about his pinewood derby times. Since he was a loser there, Angi told him that he was first place in (long pause) being super dope. I'm sure she forgot to add an "a" in there. I personally don't find a guy bragging about the size of his ... wallet, impressive. Dong size though, damn right, bring that monster hog on.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Mario (2x)
Challenger Song Choice: "Paranoid"
Champion Song Choice: "Mayonaise"
Great song choices and what imo, is the best Smashing Pumpkins song made this choice hard as hell. It all came down to the smacktalk for me on this one, which was decent but nothing mind blowing.
Winner: Mario
Other Topics:
The morning began with "Now That's What I Call Dad Rock!" the newest entry into the garbage "Now That's" franchise. It includes such classic garbage hits like "Breakfast at Tiffany's," "We Will Rock You," and "Mr. Brightside." Since Angi and Abe both did not have dads, they said they couldn't relate to this trash. They told dueling stories of how their dads would take them to the bar and leave them in the car while he partied inside. Everyone that came out would always be their "uncle" or "cousin," though all Angi's "cousins" were Asian for some reason. Angi went on to discuss the loose women her dad associated with. She did like the ones her were nice to her though and enjoyed the ones who offered her wine coolers, even though she was 13. Abe capped it off by calling all of them losers.
In a topic Abe can't relate to, half of people like to drop hints about getting engaged. The record tended to be 36 different hints over 6 months. For example, Jay the Straight proposed after 6 months (the assumption is that any longer and she probably would have killed him.) Anyway, here are some of the hints that tend to get dropped. Accidentally sending texts about rings. Watching shows or movies about weddings. Discussing friends discussing their engagement. Accidentally leaving wedding planning websites open. Casually pointing out rings while shopping. After 6 years, Abe has noticed his girlfriend making little jokes but he's not budging. Angi, on the other hand, wasn't subtle about it at all. Any time she was out with Jay the Straight, she would point out rings and tell him they needed to go to the diamond district.
Lastly, Abe's Best Bet of the Week (Royal Rumble Edition) is to take Daniel Bryan in the Royal Rumble. Angi had to make a point of once again that she is the third Bella Twin and that she doesn't like Daniel Bryan because he makes Brie eat granola.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Reddit. The Redditor uprising for taking down the hedge funds. Abe took over the toast and made it not fun.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Why don't we start up our own stock AKAT!" - Abe
"No one cares about your high school sports." - Abe
PSAngi: Focus on making your kid a good person and not trying to make them famous.
"Cool kids don't play wiffle ball." - Angi