This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It started off with Angi and Abe being losers and ended on such a high note, that no award could even match what came to pass toward the end of the show. Before I get to that though, let's look at all the other good stuff that came through today.
Angi and Abe are the biggest losers of the year. That's right, iHeart handed out their employee of the year awards recently and even though every other employee of the company was nominated, Angi and Abe were both left off the list. This is nothing new because as we learned this morning, Angi has been losing for the last 25 years. For employee of the year this year, 13 people all won Employee of the Year which is crazy because only 14 people were nominated. Who joined the illustrious losers club, fellow DJ and Abe's chosen frenemy Rufio. The prize this year was a $200 Lou Malanti's gift card, which would have been an amazing prize imo. Angi, upon learning what the prize was, was shocked that it wasn't a car. To showcase how much of a loser Angi is, her boss even made a point of it during a business meeting. "I just want everyone to know Angi didn't win employee of the year," he goofed as she stuffed more pins in her voodoo doll. So this was a great way to start the morning in my mind.
Onward to a new edition of Roadie Roundtable. Roadie Carrie called in to say that she received a junk picture via text from an ex. Nothing really came from that and the next day, he randomly Venmo'ed her $200 because he felt bad about sending the picture over. Here's the catch though, the assumption was the money was sent as hush money because she knows his current girlfriend. So here was the question that she needed the roadies to answer. Should she rat him out to his current girlfriend and tell her about the pic/money or should she take the bribe and keep her mouth shut. Abe thinks that getting money is awesome so she should just keep it. Angi said she should keep the money, not tell the girlfriend and maybe she'll get more dick pics and money. Listener April said that she should abide by the girl code, which means to call the girlfriend and split the money. Amanda, on the other hand, said to tell the girlfriend but keep all the money for herself. Gene said that she should return the money and just forget that it happened or on the flip side, split the money with the new girlfriend and rat him out. Shannon also went down the keep the money and rat him out road. Mike said that if she intends to keep the money, it's hush money and she needs to stay quiet. If you snitch, you'd better send the money back. Carrie's final decision ended up being that she's going to tell the girlfriend. Here's my thought on this whole thing, you're getting d pics and free cash and you're complaining, lord I was I was her. Life can be so unfair sometimes.
Finally, Roadie Tracy from Naperville called in to tell a story so incredible, it would seem fake if there weren't so many good details. Seriously, this was on the level of an actual celebrity interview with how much good stuff was dropped. So, Tracy banged Eddie Vedder, lead singer of Pearl Jam, over a 7 week span. The song "Black" was written about and for her as a result of the affair. She originally met him in Oak Forest and as I said, they hung out for seven weeks. It should be noted btw that Eddie has a huge unit as well. When discussing the lyrics, she explained how her skin was the "sheet of empty canvas," and her makeup was "the untouched sheet of clay." She continued to go on explaining more lyrics of the song and exactly how they came about. This was enthralling radio and I can't implore you hard enough to go listen to the full interview on the pod. When it was over, Angi called it the greatest story she's heard in her 25 years of radio.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Mario (1x)
Challenger Song Choice: "Jump Around"
Champion Song Choice: "Symphony of Destruction"
The song choices here seemed unbalanced, like here's a shredding behemoth vs that song you listened to as teen and thought was cool and you wanted to be Irish. Wow, Mario dropped a damn great line, I will say.
Winner: Mario
Other Topics:
Early this morning, Angi explained that her brother in law Big Earn is in town. This wouldn't be relevant if he hadn't bowled 6 300 point games in bowling. That's right, he is a full fledged decorated champion. This man is carrying 6 rings (well 5, he's waiting on number 6 to arrive.) Abe, in turn, mentioned a guy who he knew he bowled 300's that has no legs now. Angi wondered if they would wear the rings? How else would you show off that you bowled a 300? Abe countered. Angi then offered up a pic of him for the website wearing all six rings, he'd be the Tom Brady of the show. Abe then wondered if he banged chicks wearing the rings, which really couldn't go anywhere because Big Earn over there is married. To cap off the point, Abe explained that Henry Cavill used to wear his Superman necklace and make girls he banged kiss the Superman logo. Disgusted, Angi compared it to Derek Jeter giving his skanks a signed baseball, a shirt and a morning after pill.
So, what do moms want for Valentine's Day. There apparently was a list but as things tend to happen on this show, we got to one and things went off the rails as they do. The one thing they want more than anything else, they want to be alone/have me time. It was said that these mothers wanted at least 13 hours a month of me time. Before it went further, Abe chimed in and the derail occurred in spades. He explained how he has it made. Since he's normally alone (as we assume he locks his girlfriend outside and she hasn't moved in,) he gets to take his shirt off, eat wings and not be bothered by anyone. Angi suggested we install a camera in Abe's condo and lets us watch him eat without his shirt on. Push that one further, let's do an OnlyFans where it's just Abe eating things without his shirt on. She decided she should call this business venture Abe Eating Things w/ His Shirt Off. If this sounds familiar for some reason, it's because we've decided this several times and Angi Alzheimers can barely remember what we discussed yesterday.
Lastly, Angi found a list of the sexiest suits a man can wear. It should be noted that this list came from the UK, which Angi didn't realize until midway through it. Anyway, the list included firemen, police officers, pilots, flight attendants, doctors, dentists, soldiers, sailors, bankers, teachers, fitness instructors and cyclists. As always, Abe off tracked to ask Angi if she ever banged a fireman (she hasn't) and if girls like to have guns put to their head during sex. I swear I still don't believe that Abe has ever had sex.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Tracy from Naperville. Eddie Vedder wrote "Black" about her while he was hovering over her while banging her.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I used to know a guy who has no legs now who bowled a 300." - Abe
Quote: "I don't like smelling like stuff, I'm a gentleman." - Abe
Quote: "Whenever I talk about my boobs, I have to grab them for some reason." - Angi
Quote: "When they're (cops) banging, don't they put the gun to your head?" - Abe
Quote: "We are the last resort for advice, if you're here, you need help." - Angi
Head Roadie: Dave - Head Roadie of Schereville Firefighters
Head Roadie: Kurt - Head Roadie of Oak Forest Firefighters