This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's another cold Manuary Monday morning but Angi and Abe found plenty of ways to spice it up. 2! new Head Roadies, a new morning staple segment and I'm not drunk for once since I needed to actually call in twice today. Miracles all around, let's get into it.
It's here, like a Christmas morning present that was only able to be given out at a later date due to covid, Request Wars has finally arrived. The whole premise of the game is quite simple. Two listeners pick their favorite rock song, they are pitted against one another in a small back and fire round of smack talk and then the other listeners vote on the Rock 95.5 website. Seems simple enough right, I'm hoping that's the case. There is a stronger emphasis that needs to be made on the idea that this should be weighted song and smacktalk and not just one or the other imo but whatever. Anyway, for today's inaugural round, I took a moment from catfishing Manti Te'o to participate. The person on the receiving end of my verbal abuse, noted show Twitter follower and all around important Head Roadie Sandy. I came strong with Stabbing Westward's "Save Yourself" and Sandy brought Mötley Crüe's "Kickstart My Heart." Obviously this recap will be condensed going forward but the most important part, the smack talk was damn hot today. It was so good that even Angi found herself a little dizzy by the time we were done. Tune in tomorrow for another morning of sober me taking on that ancient fossil Head Roadie Angry Bob.
So, breakups suck right? Well, today Angi brought forward some of the messiest breakups she could find via a Buzzfeed list. When questioned, Abe explained his ideal way to break up was a slow fade away, which is typical for someone like him. Squeaky clean and easy to walk away without collateral damage. That's boring so Angi asked for listener feedback to compensate and try to match some of the truly messy situations she presented. There was the girl who got dumped on April Fools, which took a half hour to realize that it was real. Another's boyfriend dumped her because he said he just wasn't feeling in but in reality, he was actually banging his cousin. The most insane one, imo, was the girl who was dumped on Christmas Eve via Facebook Messenger ... while she was six months pregnant. Another girl was tossed after a year of dating by having a note with her key slid under her door explaining that the guy's wife was back from Afghanistan. Of course, she had not been privy to this information prior. A text to a girl's mother to tell her that he was dumping his daughter. The last example came during sex, when the boyfriend finished, broke up with the girl and then pulled out. Listener Tim called in to give his own horror story. His ex asked him to bring gifts over on Christmas Eve and when he woke up Christmas morning, she was gone and he woke up to a text of a picture of his girlfriend giving a mouth hug to another guy. After what had occurred later in the show, I'm assuming the eventual Angi and Abe break up will go down in a fiery blaze of crazy.
Finally, Roadie Roundtable, the gathering of the roadie minds to solve problems was invoked once again. The question posed was, do wives or girlfriends think that their significant other have a thing for their trainers? Listener Jessica got a Peloton for Christmas and she loves it, uses it 5 times a week. However, her husband only uses it when a certain trainer is on because she's "extremely motivating." She's just waiting for him to yell her name in bed some point soon. Angi went on to discuss a gym instructor who she had that would stretch her out all nice and she'd get some nice junk squish up against her. Listener Kyle thinks his girlfriend has a girl crush on the lady that runs her book club. Listener Kelly has a thing for her not so good chiropractor because he's hot. Even her friend got hives from looking at the chiropractor. Angi wondered if she felt awkward that he gets to see her parts. Abe of course, asked stupid question of whether the ladies would want a hot gynocologist.
Other Topics:
Just because Abe didn't bring it up, I had to mention it. Last week's Best Bet of the Week was just a meh as it ended up with a push. As Abe like's to say, if a tree falls in the forest, then no one wins or loses their bet or something. Whatever, next round comes this upcoming Friday.
Angi put out a pondery, when Abe retires, where he'd retire to. Illinois of course because why would anyone want to live anywhere else. The reasoning behind this questioning came from today's top 10 list. The top 10 states where a million dollars would last you the longest. The number one isn't a real big shocker, Mississippi. Abe commented that with that kind of money, you would essentially be a king. Rounding out the rest of the list: Oklahoma, Arkansas, New Mexico, Kansas, Missouri, Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia and Michigan. That million dollars would last you anywhere from 21 to 23 years. The downside here is that you'd have to live in any of these places, yuck. On the flip side, the places you would burn through the cash fastest are Hawaii with just 10 years and 3 months. California hitting about over 14 years. New York with 14 years and 3 months. Oregon with 14 years and 7 months. Massachusetts hitting just over 15 years. Of course, as I shaded the other places, at least you would want to live in these places.
Lastly, here's a list of things you might hear at work that probably mean trouble. "Overtime isn't mandatory but most folks stick around after hours most days." "There's a lot of people who love to work here so you're lucky." "We don't like people who watch the clock and don't want people who are just here for the paycheck." "We are a family." Abe's favorite thing to do is call people who put out want ads and prank call them. The most important thing that came from this though and the reason why I felt the need to tread through this point was what Abe ended up saying. He doesn't consider Angi family, they are work friends but she is not family. The literal blasphemy and insanity, how dare he insult the queen like that. He stood his ground though so look forward to The Angi and Jay Show some day because he was so hateful toward her. Unless of course, she loses her marbles and we need to commit her, then it's going to be The Abe and Jay Show.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Olivia Wilde. The reasoning being Angi is jealous of her because she's banging Harry Styles.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I'd give a fecal sample for a $10 Target gift card." - Abe
Quote: "Do you eat, I've never seen you eat a meal?" - Abe
Quote: "I think my poop will mess up the whole study, it's so messed up." - Abe
Quote: "Isn't Peloton like those porn channels that you pay girls to do stuff to themselves" - Abe
Quote: "Harry Styles, isn't he like 10?" - Abe
Head Roadies:
Jake - Head Roadie of The Local 597 Pipefitters
Linda - Head Roadie of The Southside Irish