This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So, did anything interesting happen yesterday? I spent most of my day watching movies and ignoring the world (at least that's how I'm going to remember things when and if I'm forced down memory lane.) However, we're not here to dwell on the past, let's get to some interesting and joyful things.
Legendary wrestler and yoga master Diamond Dallas Page (DDP) called in. While the initial promotion was about his new documentaryRelentless, which can be seen on Amazon, he also added a lot more to the conversation. For example, DDP grew up in the Jersey Shore, he was all over there. He then proceeded to go over a laundry list of celebs who lived there. He explained that his revolutionary fitness program DDP Yoga was now being referred to as DDP Y. The reason is that it is more than just yoga that he's offering but also the term yoga tends to scare people off. There's also a deal on DDP Y currently, which is 20% off. However, if you're a vet, you will always get 50% off. He explained the origin of DDP Y came from a time when he essentially broke his back. It was yoga that helped push him back into ring shape. His motto is "flexibility is youth." As usual, Abe had to chime in and fulfill a need of his own, the assumption being that DDP could help him. Abe brought up the Year of the Dunk and he assumed DDP would be the one who could help him finally make it happen. Unfortunately for Abe, DDP finally put a nail in Abe's dunking dreams. That's right kids, the Year of the Dunk is officially dead finally, we can all rejoice.
Moving on, a list of the 10 best cities to live in that you don't need a car. Somehow, literally shocking, Chicago is not on this list. How this happened we have yet to understand or figure out but in the meantime, let's go over who made the list (from top to bottom.) San Francisco, Portland, Washington, Boston, New York, Honolulu, Oakland, Providence, Minneapols and Seattle. Abe found himself completely hung up on the idea of Oakland. There was also a shock, as I had said, that Chicago is not in the top 10. Angi explained that because of her rational fear of her daughter texting and driving, she is not getting a car anytime soon. In fact, what she is getting is a big fat CTA card.
Finally, the Best Bet of the Week: Playoff Edition arrives tomorrow and Abe is making big promises with this one. To prepare the roadies for this cash gamble, Abe taught the listeners all about degenerate gambling and how to count cards. Anyway, this bet is going to bring you an entire Brinks truck worth of cash when it hits so you better prepare. That's right, run out and get a payday loan, go and sell your chicken farm, if you live here in Chicago, you clearly don't need a car so go and sell that as well. Be prepared, your life is going to change tomorrow.
Other Topics:
Another day, another list. This one involved the top 25 comedy movie quotes of all time. A few were lobbed out to get the ball rolling, like "life moves pretty fast if you don't stop and look around once in a while." -Ferris Bueller's Day Off. "Baby, you're so money, you don't even know it." -Swingers. "Very Nice," -Borat. "Are you crying? There's no crying in baseball!" -A League of Their Own. Since this seemed fun, Angi decided to turn it into a game. Listeners called in and lobbed a quote, whoever guessed it first got a point between her and Abe. It began with "you look funny eating corn on the cob with no f'ing teeth." -The Blues Brothers(Point Neither.) "I'll tell you what, you can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it." -Tommy Boy(Point Abe.) "Shake n' bake" -Talladega Nights(Point Angi.) "Nobody puts baby in the corner."Dirty Dancing(Point Angi.) "They mostly come out at night, mostly" -Alien(Point Angi.) "What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?" -Caddyshack(Point Both.) "You're killing me Smalls!" -The Sandlot(Point Both.) "Do you have bathrooms here, or do I have to $*** in a plant?" -Grandma's Boy(Point Neither.) "You serious, Clark? -National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation(Point Angi.) The winner: Angi!
In today's Drunk Ninja News, a 29 year old woman on a Spirit airlines flight (gross) to Portland got a little bit uppity. You see, she had kids sitting behind her kicking her seat repeatedly. She asked the mom to deal with it but she wouldn't so she turned to the sauce. When the plane landed, she got her luggage and then proceeded to beat the mom. While being hauled off, she tried to say the mom started it (which didn't happen) and then relented and just said "you gotta do what you gotta do."
Lastly, Angi wanted to know if Abe's girlfriend Cathy would cheat on Abe. After a little back and forth explaining why she wouldn't, Angi explained that there was a Tik Tok trend that people explained how they know their boyfriend wasn't cheating without saying it explicitly. For example, one girl's boyfriend bought a record player so he could play music for his plants. Another girl's boyfriend plays Monopoly online. Another has a boyfriend who washes the dishes and imitates Kermit the Frog. Abe knows that Cathy is faithful and he himself has nothing to hide. In fact, they have each other on iPhone's find my phone. The one thing they don't do is share passwords, something Angi completely agrees with. After asking if Mario Lopez, Mark Paul Gosseler and Luke Perry were to come through, Angi said she wouldn't cheat on Jay the Straight. However, if Jay the Straight wanted to cheat, Angi expects to be a part of it. Angi however has to also approve of the girl and her type is hot so she only wants quality.
10 o' Clock Toast:
All those relatives that are occasional people you see who are just nuts on Facebook. Angi's looking forward to seeing what happens at this year's holiday events.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "If you (Angi) were onRock of Love, would you have had sex with Bret Michaels?" - Abe
Quote: "Chickens scare me because they'll chase you and they'll peck you." - Angi
Quote: "Let me teach everyone how to count cards." - Abe
Quote: "I'm on the streets with these ladies, I've never heard about the Abeaconda." - Angi