Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Let's start with something important. Are you a Head Roadie, have I not contacted you yet or have I and not heard from you yet. Maybe you don't follow me on Twitter. If any of these are the case, check your DM's or DM me. We have a fun little thing planned for next Friday and we'd love for you to be a part of it.
With that out of the way, let's get to word play, something I absolutely adore. I've also come to adore noted food cook and writer Nigella Lawson, who has a quirky way of pronouncing the word "microwave." (If you haven't heard it yet, have a listen to the podcast version of today's show or Google it.) Anyway, this became the fascination of the internet yesterday because you know, there's nothing else going on. So, what are some words that get mispronounced that piss you off? Angi and Abe gave us things like frontroom, gif, mischievous and espresso. A word Abe actually used to stumble on was Benjamin. As for the listeners, Tom offered up Illinois and listener Brinn hates the way her mom says the word potatoes. What about you? Do you have anything that you hate that should be on the list? Feel free to message Angi or Abe on Twitter and let them know.
Do you want to feel old because this next part will do just that if you recognize any of these store names. On Twitter yesterday, users were making lists of long forgotten businesses that would help really show their age. So, to make us feel that pain that time is slowly going to destroy us all, Angi thought it would be fun to name a few. Sam Goode, Tower Records (which for some reason has risen from the dead as an online store,) Merry Go Round, Chess King, Spencers (which isn't exactly dead, just irrelevant due to Hot Topic,) and Marshall Field. For Abe's offering, he gave up Venture, Woolworth's, Funcoland and Gadzooks. He even regaled us with tales of how he used to walk miles to buy concert tickets (God, the memories are all coming back to me now.) I actually even got in on this one and broke out (Christ, I'm so old) Coconuts. The listeners added in their feel old stores and some of them were head scratchers. Brandon brought forth Montgomery Ward. Katrina offered forth Service Merchandise (that took all of us back to catalogue childhood.) She also spoke of a place called E. J. Korvette, which by name alone was the real winner. Listener Cindy Hawk brought out The Flip Side, a place none of us had ever heard of. I probably should add in KB Toys, where I ironically had my first job as a season employee and I learned to hate retail and Christmas. What about you, do you have a store that shows your age? As always, hit up Angi or Abe on Twitter and let them know.
Finally, listener Trent called in with an absolutely incredible story. He has a friend who's mom hooked up with Michael Jordan. This had all the makings of a classic story right off the bat. Jordan appeared with a cigar in his mouth and whisked the mom away to an apartment or hotel to sit and watch him play poker. Apparently, she was a good luck chip because he called her over and had her sit on his lap. Eventually, the party wound down and she wound up at his place, where the smashing began. When the morning finally came, Jordan was a real delight and he.... Just kidding, in a move I can imagine happened more times than Lebron has cried about something, Jordan told her to grab her shoes and to get out. Being that this is a story that has Angi and Abe listening in, you already know that this flies off the rails faster than your head can spin. Outside of the story, the curiosity was tuned more toward whether or not Jordan was the GOAT ... between his legs. In a follow up attempt, they tried but ultimately failed to get the mother on the phone to discuss dong size among other things. Screenshots of the conversation between Trent and his friend were provided but his friend was absolutely not having it. Continuing on the road to derailing, Abe was subjected to having to hear about his mom just getting it from Roman Reigns. Then again, it was also pointed out that she could be getting it from Jordan as well. He was about as unhappy with the whole conversation as was Trent's friend and I do love Mama Kanan but Angi is just that out of control when it comes too late on a Thursday morning.
Other Topics:
We've already covered words of the year, so why not now look at the most searched things on Google this year. The sad thing is almost none of them are that far out there. Election Results, Coronavirus, kobe Bryant, Stimulus Check, Playstation 5 and Murder Hornets. Also on the list and I'm not sure who would have searched this repeatedly, why were chainsaws invented? Luckily, I actually know that answer to that one, it's for tomorrow. That's right, tomorrow is finally Chainsaw Friday once more!!!!
Bouncing off the Michael Jordan banged my friend's mom story, another topic of conversation found the red carpet being rolled out to it. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with a celebrity, an actual one and not some z list tier local weather girl that everyone apparently has had a piece of ... cough. Ron called in to let us know his grandma got down and dirty with Dennis Eckersley, the baseball pitcher. Trish hooked up with one of the guys from Stain. Johnny Boy's brother hooked up with former WWE star and current absolute mess who charges $50 for Skype peep shows Sunny. Mike knew a stripper who banged Sebastian Bach ... recently, that's unfortunate for her. Angi pointed out that she wanted to have a three way with the Bella Twins, just the girls and her though. There was no way she was allowing Daniel Bryan to be in the corner yelling "yes, yes, yes!" It was an anon caller though who really took the corn chip cake as he did some fun stuff with Anna Kendrick in Hawaii. They met at a bar, went to a more intimate place, ended up on the beach (where he rubbed her feet because of course he's that kind of guy.) When they went back to his place, she had him put on Youporn and he played her like a harmonica (let your imagination fill that one out.) After she was well pleased, she simply called a car and was off into the night. As I say anytime with open stories like this, if you have an experience to share, hit up Angi and Abe on Twitter and tell them about who you railed.
Lastly, another day, another Drunk Ninja news. Ironically, this one almost got away with it but this 24 year old woman was starting to swerve a bit into the traffic lane. However, it wasn't almost causing an accident that popped her but the nozze of the gas pump that was sticking out of her gas tank. She was so drunk, she drove off with the hose still in and the nozzle tore right off. Ironically and of course, Abe had done this as well only he was stone sober when it happened (no doubt probably distracted by a sub I'd assume.)
Tomorrow, the Best Bet of the Week returns and it goes back to its former glory status of Abe picking crazy things. Will he win? He'd better or else, as Angi threatened him.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "You know who else died, me, when the Bulls sucked for the last 30 years." - Abe
Quote: "I wanna make one thing clear, I'm not a snitch" - Abe
Quote: "If Roman Reigns takes mama kanan to the cyburis and turns her out, I wanna hear all about it." - Angi
Quote: "I just got an eight ball downstairs, no big deal." - Angi
Quote: "Didn't Marilyn Monroe bang military guys because she said they deserved it?" - Abe