(please note, this is a general overview of what I intended to discuss, we usually go off the rails within 5 seconds.)
Another day, which means we're one step close to Halloween and that's all I can think about so let's crack open these notes, shall we.
Today, Abe and Angi gave a quick overview of roadies and head roadies, the listeners of the show and those who go above and beyond. To be a roadie is simple, if you listen to the show you already meet the criteria. However, if you want to be a head roadie, there are some requirements. First, you need to go beyond the tell 3 friend rule, which is where as a listener, you are expected to tell 3 friends about the show. Beyond that, all of your dial presets should be set to 95.5. Show us what you've been doing and why you should be a head roadie and a call in may change your life. Soon, all the doors will open for you, you'll get prefered call treatment when you call in the show, you'll even get the best spots at restaurants, too bad that isn't a perk you'll get to use until like 2024 at this rate. Also, if you have Twitter, be sure to follow me at Jay_the_Gay so I can keep track of you and add you to my special head roadie list.
Wanna know some of our head roadies and what they lead, here's a current list of them so far:
Jay the Gay- Secretary of the Show, Head of all Roadies
Mario- Head Roadie of Janitors
Nora- Head Roadie of Palos Heights
Glenn- Head Roadie of Plus Sized Women
Angel- Head Roadie of Railroads aka Railroadie
Gear Jammin Jeffery- Head Roadie of Teamsters 710
Trash Man Tim- Head Roadie of Trash Men
Nadine- Head Roadie of All Mothers
Erin McHappy Meal- The Number #1 Roadie
Sandy- Head Roadie of All Sandy's
Tony- Head Roadie of Aurora
Hayden- Head Roadie of Australia
Ferrari- Head Roadie of Uber Drivers
Mino- Head Roadie of Hermosa
Serbian Bill- Head Roadie of Darien
John- Head Roadie of Stalkers
Speaking of head roadies, today we christened a brand new one. His name is John and he's Angi's stalker. Seriously, John has been following her for years now, inside of Michael's, outside her bedroom window, waiting in the back seat of her car with a piece of wire. Anyway, for some reason John was made the Head Roadie of Stalkers and he wanted everyone to know that he doesn't like sharing his toys. Angi Taylor is an object now to be coveted apparently btw.
Finally, the 10 most popular sex dreams were discussed by Angi. For women, dreaming of sex with a friend, sex with a work collauge, sext with a stranger, sex with current partner and their partner cheating on them is what turns them on. For men, we dream about sex with an ex, embarassing sex dreams, group sex, celeberity sex and sex in a public place. No wonder I prefer men, at least we get freaky. For men. Sidenote: Abe assumed that Angi cheated on her boyfriend by having sex in the trunk of her car.
Abe believes that Burger King forces him to buy and eat 2 Whoppers because they are 2 for $6. That pretty much sums up why I'll be hosting the show with Angi at some point.
Tomorrow, Abe's Best Bet of the Week is back. After finally coming back from all the crushing defeat, Abe was able to make good on his promise of free paper and made it rain last week. So, sell your Aunt Bee, sell your car on Craigslist and borrow $5,000 from your brother and get ready to let it all ride.
Jay the Straight, the other man in Angi's life who isn't me and is well, straight, once accidentally elbowed Angi while she was sleeping. This is of course because he tosses and turns as some tend to do. The thing is the elbow was so hard he deflated one of her silicone breast implants, which wasn't noticed until she was in the shower and screaming ensued. Luckily, she was able to pee the silicone out.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I touched George Clinton's shoulder and my hand stunk for like a week" - Abe
Abe Kanan Tip: "You should have every fast food app."
"What kind of garbage boobs do you have?" - Abe
Want to make Abe's life, then name a sportsbook after him. If not that, at least name a sandwich after him.
"Abe Kanan has the cleanest butthole in all of Chicago." - Angi