This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's Chainsaw Friyay once more (thank God, I'm so tired) and that means we have an entire week worth of information that needs to be stuffed inside our brains and processed. After all, how can you possibly forget about ... uh ... what did we discuss on the show this week, does anyone remember? Huh, I guess the point about our brains being at full capacity stands tall here and so a topic about forgetting random useless junk makes most sense for the opening. This morning, Angi gave us a list of useless things that people still have memorized but would probably love to forget. For starters, old phone numbers of childhood friends which is a problem for a ton of people (I think mine are finally starting to fade which is good because I barely associate with those people anymore.) Angi, who on a good day can barely remember things she was told the day before, can still remember her grandparents phone number. Also on the list were the birthdays of old friends which have finally started to dip on Marris but Angi still has the memory of the birthday of this one girl Stacy (who shared a birthday with her....) Old locker combos, those are gone and were usually gone for Marris too who had the same locker all 4 years of high school and would still forget it all the time. Old classroom seating charts, who could possibly recall those? Angi remembers that her 3rd grade teacher had a crush on Tom Selleck because she had a picture of him on her desk. Someone's first wifi password, no way. The alphabet backwards, which is used for a drunk test, most of us can do that sober. All of the presidents in order, no way. Angi thought she could remember all the states in order and she got half way through before she bombed out of that. How to spell Mississippi which to be fair, everyone should remember. The rules of baseball, who actually learned those? If you ever worked in a grocery store you probably remember that the produce code 4011 is bananas. How to play "Hot Cross Buns" on a recorder, how about "Chopsticks" on piano? We all know the theme song from the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" though for some reason, mine just has the dude slapping everyone. The "Macarena," Marris learned how to do that in gym class. Let's not forget our old video game codes (Up Up Down Down B A B A Start!) Last and definitely not least, all those stupid advertising jingles like the one for Empire which Angi completely botched. All that stuff, forget it and make room for new stuff like that time I was nice on the radio yesterday for the first time in four years.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
We wade (get it) into PSA territory with this one as a crazy epidemic has overtaken our city and for the first time, it is not gang, drugs, guns, rats or young men "allegedly" being thrown in the lake by a serial killer. Instead, it is Divvy bikes that are meeting a watery end as more and more of them keep being thrown into the lake. Marris is a bit confused as to why this is a thing because honestly, the bikes are heavy and it is extra work to toss them into the lake. Obviously, the reason we know this is because swimmers continue to find their bikes in the lake but it is also the swimmers who are making an effort to clean the mess up. The Alternative Angle Association (normally we just deal with AA on this show,) is using divers and ropes to attach to the bikes and pull them out of the water. Now Divvy began here in 2013 and has been a staple of street riding since but it seems that teenagers who are looking for a cheap thrill that isn't shooting, stabbing or my personal favorite, looting have taken to throwing them in the water. It is also impossible to track the bikes even though they have geo tracking just because of the way the bikes are actually tracked. The reason that we also don't want bikes in the water is the batteries can leak and in turn, it pollutes the water with its waste. Angi, a former five time triathlete, summed things up perfectly. The water has used condoms, hypodermic "neerdles," and dead fish in it already and now people are crashing into bikes.
In what is technically a Daily Discussion Topic that didn't get turned into a question for the Facebook group because wording it would be too insane, we had a roadie email to tackle this morning. Richie wrote in to say he has been married for six years, his wife is awesome and he has two kids. He ran into an old friend from high school who brought up his girlfriend from back in the day. She hadn't been seen in ages and it turns out, the girl is a mess. She is on her second marriage but it was the first one that caused the issue. It turns out that her first marriage was to a guy he vaguely knew in high school but she knew very well as she had been cheating with him for a year while dating Richie. This whole thing made him mad as he was the one who was always accused of cheating (always the case, isn't it.) Richie told his wife but in turn, she got mad that he got mad (and then I got mad because how does one pose a question this long winded in a confined space?) His question was, was he the a-hole for being mad that his old girlfriend cheated on him. Marris said he shouldn't because he won with what she has while this one was divorced twice. Angi though said she would be mad about it and even she told her husband and he was annoyed, she'd be annoyed. Richie was, in a technical situation, winning until he told his wife. While the conversation should have been had, perhaps his wife didn't need to know that he was mad. Angi still though was on Richie's side, saying his wife shouldn't be mad but Richie shouldn't be stewing on it. If Jay the Straight was in this scenario, Angi would say "that bitch" and move right along. We opened the Request Line to the roadies to ask "would you be mad if your partner was mad that you were mad?" Bob said he had a right to be upset because he would be questioning everything. Tim called to contribute but we weren't playing this morning and he took too long so he got hung up on. Chris said if your trust is broken, you have a right to be mad and the wife should appreciate him sharing with her. John said it's best to leave well enough alone in the past. Angi got that as she was in a situation where a guy cheated with a friend and she was mad at both of them even though Angi initiated the break up.
Finally, HP went on a date with her boyfriend to the zoo. This was relevant because Angi could not remember the last time she was at the zoo, probably when her daughter was young. (Can I add though, writing this, I just had the smell of the zoo enter my mind and I can vividly recall it.) Angi doesn't go to the zoo anymore because she feels bad for the animals. As for Marris, last time he went it was drunk with a squad. Zoos are on our brain though because the San Diego Zoo is asking the public to stop showing videos to the gorillas. It turns out that gorillas are becoming addicted to watching videos on phones and iPads. See, gorillas share 99% DNA with us and screen time alters their behavior (and as someone who has a 4 year old staying with him who had her iPad die last night, they get big MAD.) The same could be said with cigarettes, as there is one in China who is addicted to cigarettes because people keep leaving them behind. So while we get that zoos are "fun," the reality is these basically people are trapped in jail and that is awful. The least they could do is give the gorilla an iPad or something to play Roblox.
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap
Mon: Angi needed to change her clothes
Choice: Joe had Angi decide to wear the Rocky the Rooster costume.
Result: After forgetting that there was going to be an after work cruise with the staff and clients, Angi decided she needed to cover up her awful outfit. Instead of doing something reasonable like going home, Angi decided to just put on one of the many mascot costumes stuffed in the iHeart closet. Giving everything a quick one over, Angi decided to put on the Rocky the Rooster costume and immediately went straight to the boat. The issue that immediately arose was the costume was super hot and she also couldn't see so well in it. Still, she persevered and mingled while looking ridiculous. It seemed like things would go well until the DJ saw a giant rooster on the floor and immediately thought of weddings. To supplement this thought process, he decided to put on "The Cupid Shuffle." As Angi was dragged onto the dance floor, memories of falling and breaking her wrist on the one boat cruise came flooding back. Riddled with anxiety, Angi tried to dance up a storm in the crowd and get it over with as fast as possible. Unfortunately, as she went "to the left, to the left" her costume feet got tangled up and Angi fell over, hitting the floor so hard that it broke her neck. (Dead)
Tue: Angi finally got a golden gumball
Choice: Tony had Angi decide to go the Republic of Congo (Dongo)
Result: Though she had been considered the Susan Lucci of morning radio, Angi suddenly found herself being nominated for Employee of the Quarter for the first time ever. Feeling excited, thrilled and a little bit entitled, Angi did not win but she did get the chance to try for a golden gumball. Stepping up and turning the crank, Angi closed her eyes and reached inside of the machine to reveal what she had won. To her shock, it was a golden gumball, which meant that she had won a trip to anywhere in the world. Ecstatic, Angi screamed as she jumped up and down, her chance to go to Paris would finally come. Unfortunately, as she daydreamed about the trip, the boss walked over to reveal that Angi had not won after all. It seemed that they had the wrong envelope and the actual person who won was Walt. Enraged but also over it, Angi did the only logical thing she could think of. Running backwards and then forwards, Angi sprinted forth and launched herself out the 30th floor window to splatter on the ground below like one of Gallagher's watermelons. (Dead)
Wed: Angi wanted to get a construction worker job
Choice: Bob had Angi decide to become a bricklayer.
Result: Even though she had a cushy job of gabbing away all morning on the radio, Angi found herself wanting to do something physical. It had been thirty years since she bartended and apparently being a construction worker led to happiness so she made her way to the way too early Spirit store. After finding a construction worker outfit, Angi slipped it on and headed for the first day at her new job. Swinging a lunch cooler with a Rock 95.5 sticker on it just in case, Angi was ready to get down and dirty at work. After picking up three bricks and laying them down on the ground, Angi decided to pop open the cooler and take a break. With a sandwich in one hand and her phone in the other, Angi sat on the ground and was immediately noticed by the foreman. He began to yell at her for already being on break so she started yelling about the union. After some more back and forth, Angi said that the bricks were too heavy and the job was way too hard. As she started talking about the union again, the foreman had enough and fired her on the spot. (Alive)
Thur: Angi wanted to become an influencer
Choice: Amber had Angi decide to become a casino influencer.
Result: Realizing that working at iHeart would never bring her the satisfaction that she so desperately sought, Angi decided that becoming an influencer was her true calling in life. Going over to the Seven Whistles Casino that had recently opened for the sake of our imaginary story, Angi was handed $5,000 in chips to go play blackjack and make a video while doing it. Taking out her phone and hitting record, Angi used her "Voice of God" mode to shill at the first table she found that was open. Going on about the casino and how lovely it was, Angi opened her purse and dumped out all the chips. She was going all in with one hand because you can never take the degenerate out of someone. However, the dude next to her saw this and decided to split two 10's which made Angi's eyes widen with rage. There was no way she was going to win with idiots like this next to her and so she took off her hoops and began beating the brakes off the guy. However, Angi forgot that she was still recording and in turn, while scuffling accidentally went live on Instagram. The owner of the casino saw the live feed and was so embarrassed, he immediately fired Angi and sent her back to the only job she knew for the last 30 years, radio. (Alive)
Fri: Angi was picked as an alternative for the Olympics
Choice: Dan had Angi decide to attempt to medal in joint rolling.
Result: After finding out that the one guy who worked for Snoop had to drop off of the Olympic joint rolling team, Angi was asked to step up and take his place. Angi was proud to be part of the squad, so much so that she even decided to wear a USA Olympic tracksuit. However, arriving at the games, Angi realized that the outfit would be too bulky and encumber her while attempting to roll up so she decided to get rid of it. Pulling off the clothes, Angi was down to her Olympic thong when the crowd caught sight of it. Disgusted by words, they began booing at the sagging older woman while also launching things in her general direction. Trying to dodge a flurry of programs, replica gold medals and very real steel torches, Angi assumed she was in the clear. However, a handful of people wanted to put the witch down for good. Picking up the flaming Olympic cauldron, the crowd chucked it at Angi. The massive piece of metal fell down on Angi and crushed her but as it did, some of the fire spilled out and set the Wicked Witch of Chicago ablaze. (Dead)
Request Wars 3.5
Theme: A Sports Anthem Battle
Current Champion: Angi (2x)
Angi's Song Choice: "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
Marris' Song Choice: "Chelsea Dagger" by The Fratellis
Winner: Angi
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Marris
One year ago (last week cough,) Marris joined our lovely family after Angi's former producer died eating a ham sandwich. We also learned today that Angi is pregnant with an immaculate pregnancy, what will she birth? Find out soon....
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I watch regular people porn. What am I, stupid?" - Angi
"Shuttlecock: You might be thinking this is about the badminton birdie thing. No! This is where she goes on the shuttle and gives handies to the athletes on their way to the Olympic village." - Minn Barb