This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
There's no getting around the biggest story of the day which is that snowmageddon is here and we deserve it clearly. We were living large, we were loving the lack of snow but now we must be punished for our belief that global warming would save us from this mess. However, things could be worse like for example, you could be a guy in Texas who was accused of shoplifting in 2021 and suffered such trauma, he wants a big payout. To make good on the emotional distress, physical pain and having to be arrested in a Walmart, the dude wants $100,000,000 or free shopping for life (at Walmart.) If money is too much of a hardship, he feels the ability to actually shoplift would more than compensate for all he had to endure. The thing is, the very first suit was dismissed so there's a good chance that this will end up going the same way but it did give up a good talking point. Going around the room, Angi asked if they would rather have the cash or the ability to take stuff at a store. Now, if you listen, you should know Angi would never be caught dead inside of a Walmart but if it was Target, that might change her mind. Though money is money and money can buy a bunch of stuff. As Angi flip flopped on the idea, Marris went straight for the money. His rationale was he could square away everyone with that type of cash and still do what he wants to. That said though, he did entertain the idea of Home Depot as an option. Angi then turned her eyes back to the prize when she considered she could pick a better store like Saks or Gucci. HP would want free stuff from The Alley because she could stockpile on leather jackets and band shirts. However, again money could technically do that as well. Prison Tattoo was a man after my heart when Binny's got tossed out and that suggestion also led Angi into a built in subtopic for this exploration of a free life. While lying on the couch the other day with her, Jay the Straight discovered that you can get a 25 gallon barrel of wine. Hearing this made Angi perk up like a dog who heard another dog outside and this led to her wondering how long it would take her to drain it, which in turn led to some in studio math. Since it's 25 gallons, the assumption is it would last 6 months (or hours if she's having a bad day.) While the studio attempted to figure out how many bottles the gallons could make, Angi figured how she would consume them. Marris explained it would become a challenge to burn through the gallons and Angi explained that if she had people over, it would be gone in a weekend. Marris explained though (rationally) that if you drank 25 gallons of wine in a weekend, you have a discussion that needs to be had. Eventually we got to the 5 bottles equals a gallon math done and so six months made sense, we settled on the idea that you'll probably need that much wine during snowmageddon this weekend. As for my stand on the whole mess, I'd rather have the money though $100,000,000 is too far reaching. Take it down to even $10,000,000 and I'd be thrilled but I'm frugal (and an alcoholic, I would spend all the money on booze.) If you are looking for roadie thoughts or have your own idea of what you'd do, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
I normally don't hate winter (which is a lie but whatever, it works for this narrative) but even I am praying for 8 inches tonight. The same can be said of the roadies but they are more than likely going to want snow because since we were cursed by Angi, a contest is blowing into town this weekend. For those who missed out earlier in the week, Angi decided to tempt fate by calling Mother Nature a weak ass bitch for cleansing the city with some glorious rainfall and she accused her of being too much of a (radio edit) to drop snow on us. As expected, Mother Nature did not take kindly to that and so now we get snow, below zero temps and other winter trash normally reserved for Febrewary. The thing though is there is a white lining (zing) to be had in all of this. Because Rock 95.5 is silly and stupid, all this white stuff is giving us an opportunity to launch a ridiculous contest. If we get 8 inches, we are going to be giving the roadies an opportunity to profit come Tuesday. Before you ask or since you probably forget since today is hell, Monday is a holiday. If it snows 8 inches, we will be running an hourly giveaway of a copy of Blizzard of Oz by Ozzy Osbourne on vinyl and an 8 Ball. Yep, it's exactly what it sounds like and you assume it is so get out your rulers and start measuring, we'll be forcing HP to load the prize closet while Marris searches for bread, milk and eggs and Angi DoorDashes 25 gallons of wine the rest of the weekend.
Since we'll all be snowed in all weekend and football playoffs are going to be starting, it only makes sense that a drinking game accompanies all of this. Cut to a woman in Texas named Mackenzie who is going viral on Tiktok for creating a drinking bingo game that gets her wasted while her husband watches football games. Now, his reactions are based around Cowboy games but one can easily tailor the drinking game to any team which makes sense. The rules are simple, any time any of the actions on the square are done, she takes a drink. If she gets a bingo, she chugs the drink and each go round she has ended up wasted. Now obviously we're not going to discuss every square because you can find that online if you try but here's some of them that got mentioned on the show. 1) The touchdown gesture. 2) Pretending to throw a flag. 3) Yelling "Get Em!." This one would send Angi over into the red (wine) zone because Jay the Straight drops this all the time. 4) Quiet clapping. 5) "Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!!!" 6) Putting the head down and closing the eyes. 7) "What are we doing?!" 8) Walking down the hall. 9) Crossing his arms. 10) Aggressively petting the dog. Hilariously enough, Marris felt attacked by all this because he does a ton of things so maybe it is a good thing to make a game of all this. As for at Angi's house. Jay the Straight is a big fan of yelling about penalties and offsides. As for Marris and friends, they will scream "fumble!" like they are on the field and he also loves to lean in on a tackle or pile. Angi is the same way with the lean but she does it when she is watching a TV show and people are getting romantic or something sexy is happening in a movie. So, I guess what we're saying is have you booze ready, don't leave the house unless you have to and if you order any take out (or booze,) make sure you tip your driver.
Finally, since today is terrible it only makes sense that it is also Quitters Day. That's right, the second Friday in January is usually when most people quit their New Year's resolutions. Since the idea of resolutions is flawed because the spectrum is big and broad, Marris explained that he has goals instead which are a bit more personalized and therefore feel achievable. Marris' goal for this year is to focus more on his personal life over work. He's even going to work more toward dating which is great for him and even better for us since Angi will pry and deconstruct that on air daily. As for HP, she would like to get into yoga and that is also admirable. Angi offered that a good idea for an awful day like today is to make a resolution and then quit it immediately. Like, instead of doing Dry January, try drinking on just the weekend instead of every day. Unfortunately, I think that's one goal Angi and myself are going to fail no matter what time of year it is.
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Mon: Angi wanted to go viral with a naked cannonball
Choice: Gina had Angi decide to do a naked cannonball into the Buckingham Fountain.
Result: It doesn't take much to encourage Angi and when stunt queen opportunities present themselves, Angi couldn't help but indulge them. It was for this reason that when she heard about the naked man jumping into the fish tank at Bass Pro Shop, she felt compelled to do something similar. After all, a naked person always makes the news and after the mandatory mental institution is held, it would make a great story for the air. Deciding that the dead of winter was the perfect time to go outside and strip down, Angi chose Buckingham Fountain as her water spot. Once she was standing before the fountain, Angi took a moment to survey the area. It was pretty empty due to the wet snow that was turning into rain when it hit the ground and so Angi undressed in a hurry. With her hanging naturals in the breeze, Angi realized how cold it actually was and for a moment second guessed her stunt. Determined though, Angi took the plunge and dove into the frigid water. Oddly enough, even though there had been no one there when she stripped down, a crowd had formed as she started to do the backstroke. With cameras flashing, people calling the news and videos being posted on WorldStar, Angi was a hit. However, the frozen fun was short lived when a familiar fin made its presence known. It was Bruce, the freshwater shark and he was hungry for another taste of the popsicle that was Angi. As she attempted to get out of the water, Bruce swam up and bit Angi in half. (Dead)
Tue: Angi wanted to decide on her dibs item
Choice: Kristi had Angi decide to use a Ryan Seacrest cardboard cut out for her dibs.
Result: Knowing that a massive snowstorm was maybe going to happen, Angi was in a panic as to what she would put out for her parking space as she hadn't had to deal with such an ordeal at her old house. Combing the house, Angi passed Jay the Straight's memorabilia and opted instead to use her iHeart Christmas present from the previous year, which was a cardboard cutout of Ryan Seacrest holding comically large bags of money. After trudging out of the house and down the stairs with the stand in in tow, Angi went to the front of her duplex and plopped it down. As soon as she was stationed in the spot, the nosy neighbors were all peering out their windows at her, seeing if the placeholder would be a hassle to get rid of. Unfortunately for Angi, they didn't seem too impressed and suddenly they began to leave their houses with lawn chairs, fountains and a box of mechanical parts ready to knock over Seacrest and steal her spot for themselves. However, as Angi backed away from the encroaching horde, she saw her pigeon coop neighbor approaching with a massive flock of his birds. The birds were carrying knives and chains and she knew that he was out to get her. It turned out though that in a rare moment of kindness, he was actually there to help and his pigeon army scared all the would-be parking poachers back into their houses, allowing Angi to hold the spot for herself. (Alive)
Wed: Angi needed to figure out a way to properly shoot for the three point contest
Choice: Jeff had Angi decide to use a trampoline for a jump shot.
Result: After being liberated from Jay the Straight by having him go out of town for the week, Angi decided she wanted to have some fun by herself. This meant that she was set for a night on the town and that would start with the Bulls game, which would also give her a chance to see her boyfrenn Benny. As luck would have it though, the night would go in a different direction when Angi was chosen out of the fourteen people who attended the game to shoot a three point shot for a million dollars. Though she wanted to delude herself in dreams of what she would do with the money, Angi instead plotted the best way to make the shot. She ended up deciding on using a trampoline and after it was set up, Angi made her way to half court. Seeing anyone attempt and more than likely fail sent the audience into a frenzy. Angi mentally prepared herself and as she got ready to run and make the jump, she noticed Benny the Bull out of the corner of her eye. Benny of course knew her as that thirsty woman with season tickets and so he waved back as she jumped up and down and waved at him. This continued until the shot clock Angi had running for her ran out, negating her chance to make the shot. Though the audience was hoping that she would lose, this outcome felt unacceptable. As the crowd booed her, Angi went to see Benny who shook his head in disappointment. She was pretty sure he heard her call her a loser as she was escorted back to her seat with no money and apparently dumped by her mascot boyfrenn. (Alive)
Thur: Angi took a sick day
Choice: (N/A)
Result: After waking up and feeling like any form of movement might send her tumbling down to the floor with disastrous consequences, Angi decided a morning in bed was much needed. She would go on to spend the rest of the day on the couch and luckily felt good enough the next day to show up. (N/A)
Fri: Angi wanted to be help shovel out a neighbor
Choice: Susan had Angi decide to help shovel out the inflatable snowman neighbor.
Result: After cursing the city with a massive snowstorm, Angi decided she should probably do something good as a way to repent for causing the snowy mess. After much consideration which involved staying in the house and drinking a 25 gallon drum of wine, Angi's good neighbor sense finally took over and so she went outside to shovel. Opting to do the neighbors' front sidewalk who still had their inflatable snowman decoration out, Angi got to work and was making a decent pace. The thing was though, it seemed the neighbor was none too keen on the cleanup because when he opened his door to wait for the Binny's truck to arrive, he saw Angi and yelled at her. He told her she was trespassing and she was furious that her good deed was getting reprimanded. Before she could yell back at him though, a snow plow rounded the corner and buried Angi under feet of snow that it had been pushing up off the streets. As she lay buried under the heavy slushie mess, Angi tried to call out but as luck would have it, the Binny's guy arrived and parked next to her. With her calls going unnoticed and the air run out, Angi suffocated under the blizzard that she had essentially caused. (Dead)
Request Wars 3.0
Current Champion: Marris (2x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Livewire” by Mötley Crüe
Marris' Song Choice: "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives
Winner: Angi
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Popeyes
They are running a promotion that will fetch their customers free wings if a team with wings wins their playoff games. These teams include the Ravens, the Eagles and the Bills. Before you mention that buffalo don't have wings ... of course they do, at least according to Popeyes and Angi.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Why did you pause after 8 inches like that?" - Marris
"I started drooling." - Angi
"Booze plays a big part in lasting longer with Trampasaurus Rex Taylor, because you gotta be hammered to put a potato sack on her head to get through the whole ordeal." - Minn Barb