This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
So today's notes will be less about structure, banter, hilarity and fun because today is a celebration. No, Angi didn't finally jump off the roof of the iHeart building (and in turn, secure me that co-host spot I've been gunning for for two years.) It's Angi's Birthday (on the day before her actual birthday but we celebrate today regardless!) To start the morning, Abe came in like Santa with his huge sac (pause) filled with gifts. He ended up getting her a pair of Jordan's, just like last year because after all, he's a minimalist and she is easy to please. Also included in his present haul were gifts from Mama Kanan and her bestie Dawn who initiated her into the swinger cult with things like a card that made her cry, pineapple string lights for this weekends gangbang and made her an official pineapple queen (I think that means she intends to swing a lot.) Angry Bob checked in to say happy birthday and wished her no flat tires. Head Roadie Scott called in for a happy birthday shout out. Nikki Nikki did the same. Jason called from the steel mill to say happy birthday to our queen. With a little help from Jay the Straight, we got messages and call-ins for Angi's besties Carrie and Elizabeth as well as former Bears Jerry Azumah as well as Israel Idonije. Roadie Mark called to say happy birthday as he was walking into work. Trashman Tim called in to serenade Angi with song (and offer her the D.) Panterica brought Angi roses, Jack and joints. Speaking of gifts, Head Roadie Canadian Konrad sent Angi a giant gift that she opened on air (if you care what was in it, listen to the podcast.) Eugene called to wish Angi a happy chainsaw birthday. Head Roadie Michael Myers called to say happy birthday (and he'll probably murder her at The Funeral event next Friday I'd think.) Ann called to announce she is a birthday sister to Angi as her birthday is tomorrow. Head Roadie Bob checked in to show some birthday love. Also on the birthday wish docket was Guitar Shredder Dave and Head Roadie Diane the Cat Lady. Head Roadie Tyler called in to say happy birthday and in turn, Angi gave him life advice. "Austin" called in but Angi was able to correctly identify him as Marktallica, Panterica's hot dad that all the "alleged" straight men want a piece of. Head Roadie Jitterbug Joyce called to say happy birthday and discuss how the show makes her feel young. Mama Kanan and bestie Dawn called in to wish Angi happy birthday and how they are looking forward to hanging with her at The Funeral event (next Friday people, you better be there!) Mike called in to say happy birthday, was not punching the clown and then fought about Abe over the Jaguars (and then Abe made a pass at him.) We also heard from Head Roadie The Doctor of Dance who wished Angi a happy 29th birthday. Also checking back in was roadie and chainsaw #1 winner of toda Paul, who corrected missing saying happy birthday when he won. Our last set of callers was Steve, who wished Angi Happy Birthday and that the show is the best in the world. Finally, we heard from Big Cat who wished a happy birthday, a shot of Malört and a special guest at The Funeral next Friday. My personal favorite caller though was "Boris" who said he's looking forward to spending the weekend celebrating Angi's birthday with her. Of course Boris, was Jay the Straight, who Angi didn't notice because he "disgusied his voice" (he didn't, she's dumb.) His birthday wish for her was to be nice to him and she wished he would turn his blinkers off. We also learned that Angi is now becoming a crazy cat lady as she has a ton of feral cats now living on her front porch. Jay suggested that he was going to send the dogs after them to alleviate the problem. And there you have it, another Angi Taylor birthday in the books. Thanks to all who called, texted and showed love on the socials, I'm sure the queen truly appreciated it. Now, onward until next week, where I can resume making fun of her in my notes.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
I mean, it's Angi's birthday (technically not until tomorrow but we're not here on Saturday so!) That said, the entire show was dedicated to celebrating her so all that needs to be discussed can be found above and not here below (unless you look under the desk, where Angi is passed out right now.)
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Abe (Streak: 2)
Angi's (repping William) Song Choice: "Face Down" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Abe's (repping Chuck) Song Choice: "Rainbow in the Dark" by Dio
Smack Talk Recap:
Angi flat out said she did not want birthday sympathy to get her a win today which Abe called a shame since her song sucks. Abe predicted the victory would be clean so it wouldn't matter. Wendy Dio called Walt to say Chicago was the biggest market for the Dio movie. Also, William didn't get Angi anything for her birthday (aside from a losing song.)
Winner: Abe
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
It's Angi's Birthday Week
Mon: Jay the Straight wanted to make a birthday dinner for Angi
Matthew had Jay the Straight attempt to make lasagna as a birthday meal for Angi. Known straight man and terrible cook was looking forward to finally doing something nice for the wife that constantly dragged him on the radio and decided to make her dinner. It should also be noted that he couldn't cook to save his life which is why the pair usually order DoorDash almost every day. This really came into play when he entered the kitchen and started to attempt to cook. He really didn't know his way around the kitchen, causing the meal to take forever to even get started. However, once the stove was finally on, he was bothered by the flames not seeming hot enough. To remedy this, Jay the Straight went back to an old bbq standard and threw lighter fluid all over the stove. This genius life hack did not cause the flames to get hotter, just higher as they burst from the stove and all over the kitchen. Within seconds, Angi's money pit flophouse was ablaze and she was still complaining that she was hungry. Knowing he needed to save the dogs, Jay the Straight pushed Angi away which caused her to fall face first into the raging inferno. Luckily, he escaped with both pooches as the wicked witch burned to a crisp in the flaming tinderbox. (Dead)
Tue: Angi wanted to get steak at Jewels
Ashley had Angi decide to buy a tomahawk steak for her bday dinner. Seemingly recovered from being burnt to death during her inital birthday dinner fiasco, Angi still wanted that proper birthday dinner. She hopped into her electric car (that had also killed her before) and went to the Jewels near her house. After a quick shopping trip that found an incredible tomahawk steak next to a cart full of wine, Angi checked out and was ready to head home. She had parked the car as close as possible so it seemed she would be good to go once outside. However, as she arrived at the car, an angry mountain lion suddenly appeared from behind it. Unphased, the animal lover decided to attempt to pet it instead of jumping in the car in fear. As she reached down though with the bag full of wine and steak, the mountain lion caught a whiff of it. Now hangry, the lion jumped on Angi and began to bite her, tossing the steak next to them. Realizing she had messed up, Angi reached for her pepper spray but the lion was unphased by being blasted in the eyes by it. In fact, most of the cloud covered Angi and the steak, seasoning her and the steak. This only made her tastier and after the mountain lion got done chewing through Angi's skull, he moved onto the steak and ate that as well. (Dead)
Wed: Angi wanted to hang out with Panterica's dad Marktallica's dad's chickens
Audra had Angi decide to hang out with Fowl Out Boy. After getting wild during a hoedown on the farmesque area that Panterica's dad Marktallica calls a house, Angi decided she wanted more. She went out to the hen house and found the biggest party animal of all the chickens, Fowl Out Boy. The pair did everything including the chicken dance, some cocaine and eating sliders made from the family cow Cockadoodle Moo. However, Angi wanted to continue getting turnt up so she pulled out a bottle of Wild Turkey for all the chickens. Seeing as they are chickens though and not human beings, their comprehension of the fact that it was alcohol and not actual fowl blood was not there. Instead, Fowl Out Boy and his brethren became enraged at the assumption she was drinking the blood of their cousin. All of the chickens dropped their party supplies and instead turned on her. Within seconds, the entire hen house was upon Angi and they were pecking and pulling at her, ripping open her skin and pulling out her organs. When the mess was finally done, she was nothing more than torn skin and bones. (Dead)
Thur: Abe wanted to take Angi out for a birthday lunch
Sam had Abe decide to take Angi to Culver's for a birthday CurderBurger at Culver's. Now, this sounded a little cheap but they work in radio and that meal would cost him a week's salary. Abe knew Angi was in the studio and wanted to surprise her and so he walked over toward it bouncing his blue ball that he always walks with. However, as he entered the studio, he found out that Angi was already dead and there was no need for her to choke to death or something. She ended up as a puddle on the floor because the studio is 666 degrees. (Dead)
Fri: Angi wanted to have a hot guy jump out of a cake
Nate had Angi decide to have Marktallica (Panterica's dad) jump out of her birthday cake. The layered cake was wheeled in and within seconds, he bounced out of the cake wearing nothing more than a Boba Fett helmet and a thong. The pair then ate cake while Abe sat in the corner filming it for "social media content." What, did you think we were going to kill the boss on her birthday? What are you stupid? (Alive)
10 O'Clock Toast:
Abe.
He set up an amazing birthday for Angi today in the studio.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Why you (Abe) talking so much about a high school kid being good looking?" - Angi
"When the birthday hoe is standing on the corner and you drive by and splash her with the car. You ever see The Wizard of Oz, bitch melts like The Wicked Witch of the West." - Minn Barb
Best Bet of the Week: Take the Jaguars -3 against the Giants.