Healthy Morning Habits Docs Want You to Try and Why I Won't

People are doing that thing where every January they pretend as if this is the year they'll finally get a grip, so the New York Post published a list of little things to do to keep up that façade.

Write down something you're grateful for- carpal tunnel hazard, hardly self-care

Drink water- um, take water straight to the mouth? You know that drowns people, right?

Meditate- can't sit still. next.

Make your bed- it's just going to get messed up again as soon as you come home and do your nightly bedtime phone scrolling

Get some natural light- this one we agree with. Natty Lite has always helped our problems.

Do some exercise- exercising is for demons

Stretch- just asking to pull a muscle

Do something you enjoy- oh god no. If we do something we enjoy, we'll spend three times that amount of time feeling guilty for having done something fun and feeling anxious about being a bad person for having enjoyed oneself during a pandemic and supply chain crisis and climate change but then you remember these are not problems you can solve right here and now and something so trivial doesn't make someone a good or bad person so then you just sleep from the the exhaustion of mental gymnastics. Wait, does sleeping count as something we enjoy? Ok, we're game.


View Full Site