This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Oh Gay Tuesday, best day of the week, you are finally here to celebrate and enjoy for everyone but Angi it seems is not long for today's delights. In a double whammy that only comes for people like her it seems, the day started with the oven that Rock 95.5 considered a studio. Condensed, padded and oddly filled with metal heating coils on all the walls, Angi & Abe are being cooked alive inside their studio. I'm assuming the idea here is to kill them off before they make it to the new studio in a couple of weeks because that's the only thing that could explain why it is 500 degrees in the studio. Much like a normal oven, opening the door is recommended to disperse the heat but it doesn't help when the halls are filled with construction workers, guys with tape measures and of course, jobbers. While Angi & Abe were melting, the computers followed suit. However, there was an attempt by Todd the Taint to rectify things yesterday. He had a guy come in and try to pump the air conditioning from the sister studio into their studio through the ceiling or something. There was a wish that the window could at least be opened to offset the temps but of course, it's a high rise so they won't allow it. Plus, the moment Angi sees an open window, she always tries to jump out it. However, boiling in a studio sauna was not the only problem Angi was enduring this monring as I stated earlier. The second issue came in the form of her ears, which for reasons she has yet to uncover, won't stop ringing. Doctor Web M.D. Taylor's diagnosis is that she's going deaf, which wouldn't be the craziest thing that's happened on this show. Abe also has an ear problem in that when someone screams in his ear, they fill with fluid and or feel wet. The assumption here is that they're filling with blood or exploding. Another issue that neither can deal with, low talkers. Angi's learned to deal with this though by just not talking to people outside the studio (can confirm this, if I text her on a Friday, I don't hear back until Monday.) Angi pushed it further to explan that not only low talkers are on her list of disdain but also mush mouths. Anyway, the sensation Angi is feeling is like a low snare drum effect, the kind you get after a loud concert. In better news though, her orange poop has seemingly cleared up so open a window and your back door stops falling out. Abe barraged Angi with questions as he is a non-licensed doctor in most states. We discovered it is like a mosquito in the ear, there is no blood when using Q-Tips. His diagnosis was to just ignore it and maybe it will just go away. Perhaps this all has to do with them wearing headphones for 25 years. She's essentially dying though, first her eyes, then her ass and now her hearing. The lesson to take away from this is to wear earplugs ... all the time. Use them at concerts, while at work and most importantly, when your friends are discussing their problems with you.
All the Rest:
One of the treats of the piecemeal that is The Angi Taylor Show is we get tons of interesting factoids to go along with the meaty banter (or in this word sandwiches case, an interview.) Seriously, if you view my portion of "All the Rest" today, you will see two buns of show segments that are positioned between the whopper that was today's big interview. Anyway, I'm using all this food banter and analogy for a reason here because I'm about to pull back the curtain on Abe's habits. Now, after yesterday's dip into the world of cocaine, he's giving us a thought piece on food to chew on. This literally feels like a Don't Kill Angi but replaced with Abe dabbling into topics that are either foreign to him or will kill him. So, today is National Fast Food Day and Abe is completely excited as he was told about a new place to go eat. It's called Starship Restaurant and Catering in Forest Park. This is a place where if you go in and order a pound of bacon, they will give you a pound of bacon. This led Angi to wonder what would happen if you were to order a mayo bomb. Would this finally be the white sauce covering Abe has been yearning for longer than his relationship with his girlfriend Cathy Tropicana. Anyway, to celebrate National Fast Food Day and make some of us clutch at our aching chests, Abe opened his Chase app and read a list of his fast food purchases over the last week. Though he did give the paid amount with each of the places he stopped into, I didn't catch them all because I was busy writing down the 22 places while also putting 911 on speed dial. That said, if you want to learn how much money Abe wasted, check out the podcast. That said, here is a list of all the places Abe has eaten in the last week, starting from yesterday. Butcher & The Burger, Nancy's Pizzeria, Starbucks, ShakeShack, an Uber Eats order, Hooters, Dunkin, Cafe L'Appetito, Potbelly, Popeyes, a Caviar order, Cafe L'Appetito, J.P. Graziano Grocery, Flaco's Tacos, Potbelly, Cafe L'Appetito, Lucy's, Uncle Sam's, Jimmy Johns, Jersey Mikes, Cafe L'Appetito and a DoorDash order. If you're wondering, yes Abe's insides are rotting and he will be a pool of jello before the year is over. Also, if you were ever curious as to why Abe spends 47 minutes in the bathroom after food touches his tongue, I think this should help unravel that mystery.
Speaking of man meat that Abe would probably be all over, hilarious comedian Sebastian Maniscalco checked in to promote his upcoming Chicago shows. They will both be taking place in Chicago on December 11th and 12th at the United Center. Now, here is a local as he was born in Arlington Heights and he is one of the people who is actually looking forward to the Bears moving to Arlington Heights. The way he sees it, this will raise the property value out there. This has been another year of watching the games and throwing socks at the TV. He and his dad Sal happen to enjoy the games even though he's in L.A. and his dad's in Chicago and by enjoy I mean it's just a constant complaining session. It would seem that having two shows at the United Center would be enough but it turns out that he has his fingers in a ton of pies. For example, he has a movie coming out calledAbout My Father. This loosely based on his life screen translation will find Robert De Niro playing his hairdresser father. It's a love story between a father and son as well as showcasing his girlfriend's wealthy family blending with his working class family. In order to really get himself into the role, De Niro actually flew Sebastian's father out to Oklahoma to hang out with De Niro, who was on set filming a new Martin Scorsese movie. That sat as his place of residence and discussed the script while exploring him as a person. In turn, he also went down to Alabama to teach De Niro how to properly do highlights in one's hair. There was a shock about hanging out with De Niro but he was more concerned about whether he was getting paid for his appearance with De Niro. So for Sebastian, having his father played by De Niro is crazier than playing the United Center. For him, selling out one of the two shows so far is nuts if only because he just wanted to make people laugh and everything that comes with it is just gravy. He's truly amazed how supportive the home town people are. There's definitely a need for release after being cooped up with covid restrictions. Angi agreed as she said she would basically buy a ticket just to get out. The show itself will focus on discussing family, his kids, parenting and a sprinkle of covid. Obviously the material will evolve and change as life does. Speaking of kids, Angi pressed to discover if there were any kids shows that drove him nuts?Peppa Pigwas his ire pick and though his kids aren't speaking in a British accent yet, he is being referred to as Daddy Pig. Speaking of TV, he also has a new season of his showing coming to Discovery+ (starting today.) It's 13 episodes all based around things that he's interested in. When he's not touring, he winds down by cooking, having a little wine and getting a massage at least once a week. In other words, he lives a very blessed life.
Finally, earlier this morning something truly incredible happened. You see, it was all well and routine and as Angi and Abe ran out of the studio while the music played to escape from the heat, roadie Matt happened to notice something. It turns out that Rock 95.5 had a different version of "Kiss Me Deadly" by Lita Ford then he was used to. While it was something that would have normally gone unnoticed, the keen observation was that he made that would show that roadies are listened to and actions will be taken if prompted. In the version that was in the system this morning, the lyric being played was "Went to a party last Saturday night, didn't get a break." The actual version says "Went to a party last Saturday night, didn't get laid." To assume that such a change is necessary when the show says crazier things every morning is absolutely bonkers. Annoyed, Abe took it upon himself to bypass Todd (who caused this mess in the first place,) and join with Walt the Rock Star, Jimmy Jam and Big Poppa to override the system and get the proper version of the song in. With a quick file replacement, the old version was destroyed and now the original sits in its rightful place. I mean, Chad Kroeger can talk about choking out girls, stealing their pants and having drug fueled orgies but Lita can't talk about getting some, well that could not stand. Welcome to Rock 95.5, where your voice really does matter and you can make things better.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 4)
Angi's (repping Courtney) Song Choice: "Ocean Avenue"
Abe's (repping Chris) Song Choice: "Stone Cold Crazy"
Observation:
God, who cares about the song choices because it was a fun Yellowcard song vs. Metallica cover but the real thing here was about Gay Tuesday getting out of control. Abe was talking about Chris' huge hog the whole time but when he felt threatened, resorting to saying Metallica will never happen again if they lost today. Outside of that, Angi had an amazing zing about Chris' dog having bigger balls then him. I want Yellowcard to win but I think Abe has this locked since Gay Tuesday.
Winner: Abe
10 o'Clock Toast:
Arlington Heights. The hometown of today's celebrity guest and the future home of the Bears. This is truly winning.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Known size queen Abe Kanan said it's okay if you don't have a big one." - Angi
"Slide into those DM's fellas. I have a girlfriend but I can talk to the guys." - Abe
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