This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So, this morning there was a topic that was perfect for radio. By this, I'm clearly dragging the sarcasm rake across the Rock 95.5 studio because this makes no sense as a discussion point without visual aids. Anway, Angi was curious to hear about what people looked like this morning. This all came about because Angi had seen a pic of White Sox pitcher Lance Lynn and she said he looked like Abe. Realizing the error of her way, she went on to explain that Abe is so much better looking. Still not sure how to get around her silly error, Angi went one further and explained that every guy with a beard looks like Abe. Like she just Googled celebrities with beards and she just sees Abe. There was a whole thing about Jason Momoa and Stamos and I just realized that Gay Tuesday was yesterday so why is this happening today? Angi was about eight feet under when she then said that Jason Mamoa would look like Abe if he had short hair. Thoroughly annoyed, Lance Lynn Momoa Kanan explained that if given the opportunity to look like anyone, he'd want to look like Stamos. The thing is though Stamos doesn't have a beard and Abe is a part of his look and one of the things he's known for. So continuing along the discussion line, let me backtrack to who Angi has gotten comparisons to. They've called her Sloan fromEntourage, Mila Kunis and Penélope Cruz. I'm assuming this as a starting/jumping point leading into Abe looking like Lance Lynn was the real trigger. Anyway, since Angi loves all the roadies but never gets to see them (thanks covid,) it was time for a little radio theater. She simply wanted to know, what do the roadies look like? Starting with Nia, she gets Thelma fromGood Timesall the time. This sent us off course to discuss Janet Jackson on the show and how she was burned with an iron. Ethan looks like Johnny Cage fromMortal Kombatbecause he wears Aviators all the time. Doug looks like Mark Zuckerberg, which is funny because Angi had a producer who looked like him that she wanted to punch in the face. One Legged Levi called to say he looks like a young John Travolta. Roadie Chris is a ringer for Blake Shelton. Erica, she's a Darryl Hannah look alike. Perhaps it was her that Abe saw at Farm Aid wearing all denim. Head Roadie Glenn goes between getting Ron Isley and Al Roker. Roadie Alex had a dual celebrity oppelgänger experience going from Corbin Bleu fromHigh School Musicalto looking like Redfoo from LMFAO. Of course, shockingly, the final caller was Joe who said he looks like John Stamos. We were honestly surprised that Abe did not attempt to date him.
All the Rest:
It was quite an eventful time this morning when Angi strolled on into the studio. Normally, one has to wonder how many fingers of brown liquor she's indulged in before arriving but today, something seemed different. Angi apparently looked "high" according to Abe but it turns out that the glassed gaze was caused by her stretching. I'm assuming it was all the blood and bones in her body attempting to come out of their drunk coma. While finishing up her morning stretching, Abe suggested that they should do some push ups and sit ups. Perhaps they could possibly even do a five minute work out routine when they get into the studio in the morning. Now see, Angi has to remove push ups from the list because of her gimp t-rex arm and wonky elbow. Seriously, any time she finds herself on her hands and knees, she always ends up sore the next day. Also off the list is pull ups and she can't climb a rope as well (neither can Abe on both fronts.) The real kicker though that killed the chance of the exercise in the morning was the fact that there is no exercise equipment in the studio. This led to some highly (ir)rational scenarios where Abe explained he's terrified of falling off a balcony. As for Angi, she has recurring thoughts of falling off a cliff. Since both of them suffer from weak hands/arms, there's no way they can save each other because they can't even save themselves (like that Stabbing Westward reference there!) Like, there is no last second adrenaline salvation coming to pull them from the brink, if they go over, it's done. Even worse is if they were put in aThe Good Sonscenario where they had to pull up one or the other because Angi and Abe would end up letting both of them go. In a sweet gesture though, Abe did showcase that if stuck in the scenario with Angi and Klinger, he would totally let Klinger fall. As I said, none of these things will probably ever happen but this is the kind of insane thought process that keeps Angi from sleeping at night.
Angi is truly a lucky one, cleaned up her act and flew straight and look at her now. She is amazing, has her own radio show and of course, there's that fantastic (albeit forever tortured and suffering due to her) husband of hers Jay the Straight. With that said, Angi is absolutely thrilled that she doesn't have to date anymore. However, if Jay the Straight was to screw up in some way, either by cheating (never) or being tired of her and her Angi business (my money is on this one,) she's not going looking for someone new. Now, if she happened to be drunk at the bar and she fell on someone (cough) then she's fine with that but she doesn't care. Also, there would be no hookups at the house, all fun times would be relegated to other people's houses and not her own. That seedy motel near the airport, that's what she's going to get herself into. Not that she has time for hookups even, what with all the new shows heading to Discovery+ and all her other streaming services (if she can keep Hulu from being hacked every other day.) So all of this was just the precursor lead into the actual topic which was about an announced list from dating site Plenty of Fish. It seems that there are plenty of dating trends on tap for 2022 and they all have fun catchy names. Since we have nothing better to do and we're already here, let's explore them shall we.
Communidating: Someone who is looking not only for a connection/hookup but also friends.
Dejavuing: Doing things with someone new that you used to do with your ex.
Handticipation: Being unsure of what physical boundaries exist with a partner. (Abe got annoyed by this because guys tend to act completely ridiculous and everything is too much nowadays.)
Hesidating: Not sure if you want the relationship to be serious or casual.
Baecation: Taking someone you just started dating on vacation.
Of course, this all ended with a discussion about Vegas and it being an amazing place to lay with someone. Somehow, I feel all of the things done on the show are thinly veiled excuses to discuss degenerate gambling, alcoholism and trips to Vegas (which is fine but let's just call it as is.)
Finally, as we all have come to learn, whenever Angi leaves work she tends to be one of several things. Angry which means she just left a meeting. Tired which means she stayed up all night watchingPeaky Blinders. Endlessly Amused which happens when Abe says incredible things during the 10 o'Clock Toast. Drunk which I kept for last because this is usually the end result of every day and isn't anything special. With that all said, Angi ended up in a volatile headspace yesterday. Whereas she left work pleasant as a peach, it was the encounter she had in the halls that set her off. She ran into a jobber who works for the company, a woman that she absolutely hates. This is someone who she hasn't seen in forever as this person is part of the reacclimation crew who are finding it hard to come to work two years later. Mind you, it should be noted this person lives next door. So she sees this person and they see her and there is a disgust knowing an interaction is going to take place. Now there have already been things that have gone down between them so Angi was slipping on her brass knuckles right off the bat. After a quick "sup" from Angi, the jobber responded with the dreaded "oh my god, have you lost some weight?" I mean, the truth is that she has but not a ton or anything. Now, if a friend had said this to Angi, she would have been absolutely thrilled. However, since it was told to her by someone she doesn't like, the whole thing felt like a diss. Abe understood exactly what she meant because the insinuation here is that she's fat to begin with. Either way, Angi almost tossed this trash bag down the escalator but she composed herself and let things be.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 7)
Angi's (repping Michelle) Song Choice: "Dirty Little Minds"
Abe's (repping Javi) Song Choice: "Sour Girl"
Observation:
After failing to obtain a win for 7 straight rounds, Angi showcased what her downfall has been. See, she wanted to have fun one morning on Request Wars and now she's being punished (or maybe the song choices have just sucked Mary.) Anyway, Angi had enough of that today and teamed with Michelle to take down Abe, Javi and Javi's messy girlfriend. This somehow turned to Smash Mouth and Angi being asked out by the lead singer Steve. Deflection aside, Abe needs to go down today and hopefully this is the start of a new streak.
Winner: Angi
10 o'Clock Toast:
Marines. I could say a ton here but you must go listen to this on the podcast because it is beyond incredible. A literal Top 5 Abe Kanan moment.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Any guy I know that likes catfish, they always have a flask on them." - Abe
"I think guys could play the skin flute to anything, guys are gross." - Abe
"I'm the king of shining turds, I'm known for shining turds." - Abe
"You could be hitting the pipe in the hallways here, nobody would care." - Angi
PSAbe: If you're going to a sports event and trying to park your car, make sure it's a legit spot.