This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Ah trends, the thing that lasts for five minutes and yet everyone feels compelled to jump on due to societal pressure and desire for likes. Things like TikTok are really the real driving force behind them now for the most part (eating up Twitter which has become a hellscape of trash.) That said, Angi has seemingly had enough and so have others as this morning she presented a list of trends that people are sick of. Things like avocado toast (and there goes all the hipsters that listened to the show.) Also on the list but explored a bit more fully was cable television. Cable is basically dead, eaten up by the monolith that streaming has become. Of course, the irony here is that streaming is becoming the new cable. Instead of having just one place for shows that weren't cable, everyone wants a piece of the proverbial money pie and they are going to end up creating a hybrid beast that essentially becomes cable (only more expensive unless bundled ... aka cable.) Man buns are also on the chopping block though Angi will let it slide if it's Jason Mamoa wearing one but not say Aaron Rogers. Lip injections are apparently getting too filled for their plump space as well. Throw away throwing back a nice IPA which is also suffering under the everyone wants to do them because they are trendy problems that streaming suffers. Also on the list, cancel culture, which is a double edged sword because without it there are some ridiculous things that would still be occurring but at the same time, the utter amount of "canceled" being cried at the slightest things is kind of ridiculous. Anyway, enough examples, let's see what Abe and Angi had to say. Zoom working was Abe's pick and honestly, that completely makes sense given who is saying it. He is tired of people working from home mainly because if given the chance to do it, he would be working while lying on his side. Notice how he said side and not stomach, which I'm assuming is mainly reserved for Dorito eating and when Stamos comes over. His rationale for all this is simple. If you happen to hate your job, you're going to want to work at home, who wouldn't? However, if you like your job, wouldn't you want to go in all the time. It is very telling when some people always show up and others are just at home killing time when they too could be at their place of business. Angi's is another covid era related trend that she wishes would drop off in that she picked wearing masks. I can see this because I hate having to go somewhere and immediately mask up, which is why I found it's easier to just stop leaving the house altogether. Moving to the roadies, there was a mixed bag of interesting answers. Natalie called to talk about how she is sick of ridiculous nails. Those super long, sharp and pointy nails. Like how do people type with these things or change diapers for that matter (no, I'm asking because I don't have kids clearly.) Jose called to say what has become a big standpoint as of late which is workers who are on salary and being forced to work 40 to 50 hours a week and then still be on call. Robin hit the nail on the head by saying that Tiktok challenges need to end because they are stupid and dangerous. Needless to say, Angi and Abe have never done any TikTok challenges (cause they're not idiots.) Debra hates Crocs and now they are bigger than ever and she just needs to wait it out, as fashion trends come and go. Nick is completely over politics and fighting which completely makes sense because it is just tiring. Frank the Tank is so tired of seeing people working out all the time, he wants to know why we all can't just be fat and happy. Well I mean got the fat part down but happiness is overrated imo. Speaking of dad bod and happiness, Trashman Tim called and said he is sick of skinny jeans. Angi informed him that they are on their way out as is so at least one good thing came of all this. As for me, I'm sick of the trend of people calling me an alcoholic because I drink all day. It's called having a good time, not being a drunk. Get it right already people!
All the Rest:
Angi decided to bring up money this morning because on this show, we love nothing more than money, gambling, booze and going to work. Anyway, let's assume that Abe was to find $100 and he couldn't track down the owner, would he just take it? Of course because it's Abe (and he got burned once before at Walmart) and well it's Abe. As for Angi, if she was to find it in a park, she would keep it. If she found it at work, then she would make a point of sending out an email. Now, with their choices firmly in place, let's look at what people who were polled said. 9% said that they would give it to charity (sure Jan,) 7% said they would give it to someone who needed it more (yeah right,) 8% said they would leave it there (uh huh,) 11% said they don't know (which means they'd take it,) and a bit more than half said they would keep it, and just roll that into a 100% and things are right on track. When Abe worked at Walmart way back when he once found a wallet that was heaping with cash. He took it to the customer service desk who offered to get it back to the owner but Abe assumed that she ended up stealing it for herself. There was no credit offered to him or accolades so he just assumed that's how things panned out. On to personal experiences, Abe once lost a wallet but he had no money in it (he works in radio so that makes sense) so there was no real issue to come from it. Angi was at a bar once and had her purse open (she was more than likely filling it with airplane bottles of booze) and someone reached in and stole her wallet. Miraculously, she ended up finding it in the bathroom shoved behind the toilet tank with all the cash stolen but everything else left behind. Reliving this memory triggered something in Angi which then allowed her to proclaim that if she finds a $100 bill, she's keeping that for herself (she also works in radio so it makes sense to keep the money, I mean the liquor bills alone.) They summarized that the people who were interviewed felt compelled to say the right thing to the poll taker, which makes sense because no one is honest when it can be traced back or said to one's face. Todd called to mention that he once worked for BMW. He ended up finding $30,000 in a returned car. The guy ended up getting it back and Todd went without as much as a thank you, making him part of the Abe Kanan treated like trash narrative. Angi wouldn't have kept the money only because it was at work and she would have assumed it was some type of sting.
So the other day, Angi was going through pics and found ones of her daughter making slime. For those without kids, making slime became a huge trend for a time. Hilarious enough, this could have fit in the trend list but this goes in a different direction. After making the slime, her daughter would take it to school and sell it. That's right, she effectively became a slime dealer in grade school (because drug dealing is so 90's.) This blast from the past inspired Angi to recall what she used to sell back in the day at school (pause for comedic insert and self induced ideas,) Now and Laters. That's right, the candy equivalent of crack that was hard as a rock but gave so much delicious sometimes chewy fruit flavored joy. She would go and buy a pack and break it apart, selling loose ones at 50 cents a piece. This made Angi curious what others would sell when they were in school (outside of drugs and yet, that was most of the calls they ended up getting.) Abe used to bring jobber baseball cards and sell them at the school bake sales. The money would get pocketed from this because there was no way he was offering his time and goods and then giving the money away to school. Whereas Abe was able to run off with his cash, Angi got popped selling her wares eventually (that was her first stint in juvie obviously.) Abe knew someone who sold weapons when he was in school, a person who tricked Abe into buying a throwing star (because kids are stupid.) Head Roadie Bill called to discuss how he used to sell flavored toothpicks when he was in grammar school. As for Jim, he sold porn and breadsticks. He worked at Pizza Hut so he would use the excess breadsticks from work to sell them and then would record porn on a dual VCR and would sell the excess tapes.
Finally, for whatever reason the topic of the world's biggest bulge came up. No, Angi wasn't discussing daddy Abe Kanan and his Abeaconda but bridge troll Jonah Falcon, who continues to try and be relevant even though he's an ugly beast. He has a 13 and a half inch salami and he loves to go on about it even though he considers his reputation of having a giant wang as being life ruining. The reality is though it is less about his giant dong and more about the fact that he's a colossal weirdo loser. Anyway, in 2012, he was pulled aside by the TSA because they assumed he was carrying some form of rifle since it was down to his knee. Angi and Abe inspected pictures of him in shiny pants which made Angi exclaim how he is not cute (I agree, he's an ugly beast.) Again, his biggest claim to fame is the fame whoring he does because of his big junk. Somehow, the topic then turned to measuring with friends, a new game coming soon to mobile phones everywhere. Angi asked if Abe ever measured it with friends but he didn't. He did though have a friend who hosted circle jerks with porn (essentially.) Though he did not indulge in these shenanigans because Abe is a good boy, he was invited to them. Though he did wish he could tell his friend's wife, the secret remains buried in the past where it belongs. Another thing that belongs in the past but was dug up by Abe's clearly adolescent tinged mind was him assuming all girls made out in the showers in high school. He was clearly confusing most normal schools with Lezzie High, which I think was the name of one of those movies watched at the circle jerk.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Cheryl) Song Choice: "Breaking the Chains"
Abe's (repping Shorty) Song Choice: "Angel"
Observation:
This mess began with a fight over who loves who more. Then it turned to stripping and Abe telling us how amazing Shorty is plus other nonsensical rambling. Oh, I should add that Abe and Shorty have seen Aerosmith and Angi and Cheryl went to Monsters of Rock. Honestly, both songs kind of suck so this could go either way.
Winner: Abe
10 o'Clock Toast:
Big Cat. He's our favorite Tuesday morning booze hound and he is literally the best. Abe is also angling to get him to help him fix his holes in one now.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Let me run an organization and you'll see what happens." - Abe