This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
If you have been paying any attention, you would know that The Olympics are starting today. Then again, with the whole global pandemic still raging out of control, I could see how one could easily forget that life was attempting to return to normal. The whole situation there is not any better than it is here currently. The stadiums are empty because of covid fears, athletes are being forced to bang on beds made out of cardboard and that's even if they can be there, as so many are being forced to drop due to covid. What I'm saying is The Olympics are basically hot garbage right now but they needed to be gotten out of the way for the sake. However, this gave Angi an idea for an excellent topic. If they were to hand out gold medals for everyday things, what would you end up mounting the podium for. By everyday we mean something simple as organizing or making a lasagna. Before taking it to the roadies, we heard from Angi and Abe. Obviously, one would assume that Angi would gold in several categories. Drinking bottles of wine, laying on the couch and watching streaming shows, cheating death and preventing teen suicide, any of these would be acceptable answers. However, Angi offered up that she is absolutely amazing at parallel parking. Abe chimed in that he is great at it as well and offered up a contest (which would make sense in the whole spirit of the games.) Before hearing Abe's (well technically after but I rearranged these notes for the sake,) Angi also had to take a moment to drag long suffering show husband Jay the Straight about his inability to parallel park. As for Abe, he would take the medal in tire changing. For whatever reason, it's always the right front passenger tire that is blowing out for him, a useless tidbit that may or may not be on the Head Roadie exam. Going to the roadies, Jonathan's medal would be napped in sleeping on the job. Cooper, well he would be holding gold in 69 (could you imagine watching that event on NBC?) As for me, I would probably be the most decorated athlete at the Everyday Olympics. My categories include drinking, sword swallowing, hurting people's feelings, being irrationally angry about everything, swearing and of course and more so most importantly, taking tons of meticulous notes and spinning a handful of sentences into a long-winded paragraph of hilarity.
All the Rest:
What a wonderful way to start the day (I'm kidding obviously, he's the worst and my archnemesis for a reason,) Angry Bob called in. If you don't know or are behind on things, Angry Bob and I have had a rivalry that goes all the way back to episode 1 of the show. In fact, he used to hate Angi as well (still does probably.) Anyway, Angry Bob called in this morning to do what he does best, be hateful about things. His target of ire and disdain this morning was Megadeth singer Dave Mustaine, who he apparently hates (join the club, I think he's an absolute piece of human trash.) To follow up with the dumping on fest, Abe talked about and goofed on that time that Dave Mustaine cried during the Metallica documentary. Angry Bob took it one step further, saying that he wouldn't mind punching Angry Bob in the face. Being the smart host who saw an ability for mining, Angi asked Angry Bob if there's anyone else in the punch in the face list. He was too wily and smart for her though and he saw through her attempt to bait him into saying other wacky things. There was a discussion on how crazy enough, we are almost at the 10 month mark of the show (we might be in the middle of it, I was never good at math.) The nice thing was after all this time, Angry Bob is finally warming to Angi ... maybe. I should add as part of the history lesson that the first time Angry Bob called, he wanted Angi to shut up and play more music. We've come so far people and as we get closer to the one year anniversary, I look forward to seeing whatever other insanity the show brings to us.
As it is every morning on this show, something degenerate was going on in the A.M. Sometimes it's day drinking, sometimes it's abhorrent eating and then there's today's activity, which was of course Angi doing one of her favorite things. Yeah, I know you expected to hear what it was in the last line but its fun to build up a little before release right? Scratchies, for those who read through that prior mess and wanted to know what no good Angi was up to this time. As customary, Angi slid down to the little bodega type shop yesterday for her morning wine, cigs and decided to get a scratcher. This was probably egged on by Head Roadie Erin who won $1,800 on a slot machine yesterday (good for you Erin.) Anyway, Angi was working away at her scratchie but as of writing this, we still didn't have an answer on if she won or not. It was one of those complicated scratchies that involved numbers, letters and cross referencing that was too hard to decipher when you're trying to do five hours of radio each morning. Speaking of people who dreamed of being big winners, Abe also bought a scratch off yesterday. His impulse buy was triggered by a guy who was at the same store he was who won $50 on a ticket he had scratched. How did Abe know this? Well, apparently the guy was running up and down the aisles of the store shouting that he had won. Oddly enough, I think the guy was stabbed and robbed in the parking lot when he left the store.... Anyway, all this gambling talk led to Vegas because of course it did. Angi was curious as to whether Abe would go see a hologram concert. Absolutely he would and why not, it's like an interactive mp3 that you don't have to worry about dropping dead on stage. In fact, he actually saw the Cirque show that was based around Michael Jackson that had his hologram come out at the end. Luckily, this hologram is programmed to just perform a few songs and not molest the kids in the audience (allegedly.) Angi has also seen a hologram, remember when they dug up Tupac's corpse and animated it as a hologram at Coachella. The whole point of all this was Whitney Houston is getting a hologram show in Vegas. It will be just like a real show with backup singers and dancers, just the main act will be a flashy cartoon. The question is has the technology finally gotten better because if you look at Tupac now, it looks like trash. Funny enough, beloved movieForrest Gumpalso looks awful as well these days so there's little faith for the Whitney hologram.
Finally, comedic actor (who I wouldn't mind punching in the face. Look at that, throwback to an earlier paragraph, who saw that coming) Kevin Hart and bad TV host and rampant impregnator Nick Cannon are in the middle of a prank war. It started when Nick sent Kevin a llama for some stupid reason. I'm assuming it has something to do with celebrities having too much money but not enough to go to space. To get back at Nick, Kevin posted a billboard in Hollywood with Nick's phone number on it. If anything, someone should get him the number to planned parenthood because he can't seem to stop having children. The current total stands at 7 kids with 4 different women. Mind you 4 of these kids were all born within the last 8 months. Angi herself is not that much of a big prank person so she couldn't really add much to this topic. Abe however, totally is and once pulled an epic prank (sure, let's go with that) on his aunt when he and his brother Sam were camping in her yard. The pair switched shirts and Abe donned Sam's glasses and for the rest of the day, the two of them pretended they were the other one. I know this sounds delightfully hilarious but the whole thing sounds like it went over as a case of brown skinned boys attempting "twin magic." Though this does raise a point about identical twins swapping places and banging the other's boyfriend (which sounds like an idea I need to go Google right now.)
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Scott
Champion Song Choice: "Holy Diver"
Challenger Song Choice: "Living the Dream"
Observation: All I can really say is at least Leann tried because Scott seemed to just give up out the gate and cemented it on his secondary comment. This was awful.
Winner: Leann
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi takes a trip to Westeros (fromGame of Thrones)
Mon: Paul had Angi seek out Khalessi and her dragons. She sees a dragon which scares her and causes her to redirect her horse to a whorehouse. At said whorehouse, she participates in an orgy (keeping her alive and satisfied.)
Tue: Joe had Angi attempt to absolve herself of her sins with the High Sparrow. Angi tells too many of her sins and she's forced to do the "shame" walk.
Wed: Shane had Angi pet Drogon the dragon (one of Khalessi's three dragons) and he enjoyed it for a minute. Then he got mad for some reason and he blew fire, which missed Angi and burned the High Sparrow and the peasants.
Thur: Danny had Angi lay with the virgin Jon Snow. Angi attempted to have Drogon light her cigarette and he accidentally set her on fire.
Fri: John had Angi decide to marry Jon Snow in Kings Landing and while "The Rains of Castamere" played, Jon Snow and Angi were both stabbed to death (it's implied Angi's head was lopped off as well.)
10 o' Clock Toast:
Cleveland. The Indians are becoming the Guardians when there are so many better name choices out there. What a waste, poor city.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I don't wanna be sad. I want to watchSwingers,Rounders,Goodfellas,The Warriors." - Abe
Quote: "If you have one foot in the glue factory, you don't want cats." - Abe
Quote: "I always want bocci ball scores, why do you think I come to work everyday?" - Angi
Quote: "I gotta go home and watch Taylor in the Olympics, she's going to win the gold again in sword swallowing." - Minn Barb
Tidbit: New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Dave, Head Roadie of 69
Tidbit: New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Tom, Head Roadie of Lawns