This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Here on The Angi Taylor Show, we are an open book. Everything from Angi's crazy past, Abe's glass closet and of course, my proclivity for chain link fences, nothing is off limits. So it should come as no surprise that this morning, Angi came in to discuss a problem she's having. It seems the plumbing is no good anymore and she's getting a little concerned. That's right, Angi has not pooped in 8 days and she is not sure what she should be doing to alleviate the situation. As you will recall, Angi had her surgery on the 5th and ever since she got her beloved, super restful sleep, she has yet to go. Abe, in his forever infinite wisdom, had some ideas on how to solve the problem. You see, she wasn't thinking about this the right way but the easiest way to solve her problem is to jump up and down on the toilet. Silly Abe, she's trying to get her body regular not prevent a pregnancy, duh. Angi is concerned about this obviously but Abe doesn't seem to think that there is any issue. In fact, this is nature correcting itself. Has she been eating? Of course, after all she wanted to stop drinking wine because she saw a picture where she had put on her covid 15 and it made her want to scream. Well see, that's the thing, Dr. Kanan explained. All that food that isn't going out is staying in as a way to increase her bust size back to its proper portioning. Yeah, he's a doctor so I'm not going to argue the science on this one obviously. Anyway, Abe then went through the laundry list of superfoods that should get her moving. Coffee, oranges, watermelon. I think the mere thought of these things got Abe wanting to run to the bathroom but instead of skipping out the studio, he told us about his double emergency after the iHeart party the other night. After the party had started to wind down, which has caused Angi to develop a serious case of FOMO now, Abe had to rush back to the radio station. It was after midnight and he had filled himself with food and as any regular listener knows, once he eats, Abe had to go within a few minutes. After dealing with that first bomb, he went down to his car only to realize that this was a double shot of ugh. Running back in, he found the elevator was stuck. Even worse, work friend and Angi Taylor bestie Harvey Cosby aka Shark, tried to hug him from behind (allegedly.) This brought us back to the incident yesterday where Harvey Cosby tried to hug her from behind yesterday. He couldn't help it though because he's a shark and it's in his nature to attack prey. In this case, Angi, who is covered in scars, is obviously the prey. Her wish is that no one attempts to hug you from behind unless of course it's Jason Momoa, Roman Reigns or Stamos. Angi's suggestion to cap this was that Harvey Cosby and Abe go jump up and down on the toilet.
All the Rest:
Here's a quick question that I never considered but it is a thing. Have you ever suspected that your food guy has eaten your food when they've delivered it? This led to Angi telling a story about how Jason Brown, the other Jay the Gay involved with the show, used to deliver food. She explained that she used to pressure him into revealing if he had ever snuck a bite of anything he was delivering. However and in typical fashion with this show, the point detoured and was forgotten before she elaborated on his answer. Instead, Angi went on to explain what caused this whole topic to become a thing in the first place. Apparently, a woman went on TikTok to discuss how she ordered a meal and when she received it, the seal on the bag was broken. Sure, that could have happened in like transit but it was the fact that there was food missing that became the alarming alert. Her order had been from Taco Bell and after combing through the bag, she came to realize that she was short of a Doritos Loco Taco. However, since the delivery was doorstop, that meant there was a photo of the driver leaving it. It turned out that the delivery driver, who was a woman, had orange fingers in the pictures. It should be noted that Angi did her damndest to not say the driver worked for DoorDash and yet, she sure did say it three seconds after attempting not to. This led to a flat out statement by both Angi and Abe saying that if tempted, they surely would eat from the delivery food bag. In fact, Abe went one step further to announce that he has never not picked up fast food and eaten some in the car (I'm surprised we didn't get the pizza story we've heard a ton of times to boot.) There is a big winner in all of this though and that would be Taco Bell, who Angi said should make a commercial and showcase this incident. "Taco Bell, our food is so good, you just can't resist." On the phones, Albert explained how he once ordered a pizza and that when it arrived, the sticker was ripped off and half the pizza was missing. Apparently, it was refunded and it happened a second time as well. It seems that the driver is well known for being out of control around food. That or as Abe said, the driver was the hamburglar (who apparently eats pizza now.) Brian's called in to discuss how his brother used to deliver Chinese food and that the overall smell of it would cover up the fact that his brother spent all his time getting high while delivering.
Diving face first back into issue territory, Abe has problems once again so it's up to us here at the show to clearly abuse those problems. Today's problem is with the delightful dong fest that is Netflix'sSex/Life. As you've come to learn if you listen to this show or The Fred Show, this show is packed to the brim with dongs and Skinemax style gratuitous sex and nudty. The acting is bad, it's not well written but no one is watching it for the plot. This is porn for people who don't know how to use Google basically or have a significant other who checks the browser history. For Abe though, he is just not digging it. According to him, there are just too many huge johnsons and that's it totally. Well, as we all know that clearly isn't it and Angi took to the phone to get to the root of the problem. Mama Kanan, Head Roadie of All Mothers and mother to Abe, was checking in to discuss the show and its huge member with Angi. As soon as the call started, you could hear Abe clawing the walls in the background because he was in hell. Anyway, Mama Kanan and her friend Dawn are down in Florida currently for a girls week. Angi was invited to this all girl orgy and suggested she would bring the gummies for them. Meanwhile, Abe would rather have Roman Reigns come down to hang with Mama Kanan. After a small discussion about one kind of man she's seeking, the number 1 requirement was insurance. Life insurance obviously as the pair loveDatelineand are probably smart enough to get rid of a body at this point. Anyway, getting to the meat of the call, Angi wanted to know if Mama Kanan and Dawn had gotten to episode 3 of Sex/Life yet. It turns out, they actually finished the show. Hearing this shocked Abe, who was busy trying to undone the hinges on the door so he could escape the room. Angi asked what they thought of the dong, did they pause, rewind and get 4K images like Angi and I did? They did an "OMG" when seeing it and then they found themselves wondering if it was real. Angi explained that through her "extensive" research, she discovered that the actor has said it was not a body double but he didn't not say that it wasn't a prosthetic (again, if that was fake, it's the greatest fake I've ever seen.) Mama Kanan summed it up the best by calling it "a freak of nature." Angi followed up by showcasing that the woman on the show was married when it started, dumped her husband and ended up getting with the big dong dude. By the end of this, Angi is clearly smitten and was reliving her days with dongs in her mind. Abe was in hell and if his skin could crawl off and run, it would be run. It should be noted that it took Mama Kanan and Dawn two days to finishSex/Life, it took Angi only one.
Finally, let's talk about hot men or in this case, men who are hot that wouldn't traditionally be considered hot. I should note this is a dual opportunity discussion point and women will get their due but let's explore the initial point that started with Angi. For her, it is that dirty looking, sexy drug addict Russell Brand. Speaking of dirty looking, Angi also would get it from Joaquin Phoenix. We also have to remember how much Angi also loves and wants to get just gross with the GEICO lizard. Anyway, this conversation and discussion is all about unconventional hotness. For suffering show husband Jay the Straight, he has a total thing for Juliet Lewis. Turning to Abe, he feels that Lori Greiner fromShark Tankis the peak hotness that she can achieve (whatever that means.) Angi agrees with Abe on this and says that she is also smart and rich. In the same vein, Marcus Lemonis from MSNBC does for Angi what Lori does for Abe. It should also be noted that the granddaughter of the In-N-Out fortune also ticks Abe's boxes. Taking to the phones, roadie Lori digs Seth Rogen. She likes him thick or thin, she finds him funny and enjoys that he's a pothead. Angi is fine with all this but hates his laugh. Angi would however rather bang Seth Rogen over some type of cover model dude. She has a thing for funny guys (who doesn't though.) Abe mentioned Stamos because it's a day that ends in the word "day." He did indicate that it was a one night stand thing and in that regard, Angi would take him for that. However if it was a relationship, Seth Rogen gets the goods. Roadie (whose name I didn't catch) is loving on Sophia Loren, who he found hot even five years ago. Dino wants a piece of Anna Faris. Josh is digging on America Ferrera. Head Roadie Ferrari digs Kelly Riley, who is on the showYellowstone. Leann wants a piece of noted leprechaun Joe Rogan. As for George, oh man, he wants to be force fed by the Pioneer Woman, who has that cooking show. As for me, my go to is british actor/bad boy Danny Dyer. I just imagine he'd smell like cigarettes and probably put one out on me after he threw a beer bottle at me. God and that hot dad bod of his nowadays ... chefskiss.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Windy City Cowboy
Champion Song Choice: "Cowboy"
Challenger Song Choice: "Mr. Crowley"
Observation: This was nasty and these boys do not like one another and I was living for it. Throwing shade, starting rumors, this has everything and honestly, I'm content seeing either take it. Good job guys.
Winner: Trashman Tim
10 o' Clock Toast:
Shark. I guess we're retiring Harvey Cosby for now because Angi made Shark feel bad yesterday and so she used the toast as an excuse to apologize.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I think your body is refilling your boobs." - Abe
Quote: "Pretty much anything I eat becomes an emergency bathroom situation." - Abe
Duo Quote:
"It's our official coming out party!" - Abe
"You're coming out finally?" - Angi