This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Today seems to be pushing the agenda of the holiday weekend by trying to get us to consume as much meat as possible. That's right, today is National Hamburger Day and it would have been a perfect day to grill and chill ... if it wasn't like November outside currently. Since it is a made up holiday stacked on top of a real one, it got Angi thinking. Where in Chicago could this meat hungry bitch find herself the best possible burger. There are tons of options to choose from so she is looking for the absolute best. There is the obvious that she loves already, like Au Cheval (same with Abe on that one as well.) Of course Kuma's makes their list as well. Abe had two suggestions right off the bat for Angi. Butcher and the Burger and The Loyalist. All I know is this hot one needs her meat fix real bad so it's going to take a handful more stacks of meat shoved into her mouth before she is satiated. Head Roadie Bill called in to discuss Choppers, which was already known and beloved by both Angi and Abe. They had nothing but praise for the place, jumping at the chance to showcase how great it is. Roadie Cary talked up Illinois Bar and Grill, which has bigger burgers than Choppers (I've had a burger from them, they are great.) Abe's only gripe with Illinois Bar and Grill is that he doesn't like the mayo they give you. Angi went on to mention that she is not a size queen and cares more about the taste. According to her, it's the men who are size queens when it comes to their burgers. I have to call foul on this one if only because as long as I've known Angi, size queen is immediately what I think of when it comes to her and meat. Roadie Graham called in from "Humble Park" to say that Mott Street is the place to get a burger. This is another spot Abe has been to and he says that the sauce there is weird (probably cause it's not creamy and white.) Kevin is all into Tracks, which has half pound patties and 20 different burgers on the menu. Hearing that they name burgers after people and staff, Abe went nuts wanting to get his hands on a burger from there as well as having one named after him. For what it's worth, Angi is shocked that Abe hasn't actually been there. Julian suggested The Busy Burger, which Abe has been to because of course he has been. Scott also suggested Illinois Bar and Grill. Head Roadie Trashman Tim called in to suggest Doug's Dogs. They have an incredible secret menu burger that has 4 patties, fries etc. He started to work in his mention for his softball team The Squirts and Angi demanded he be hung up on. Instead of doing that though, she challenged him instead to call for once and not mention the team. As for me, my personal favorite burger comes from Falco's, where if you double patty a cheeseburger, it is essentially as big as a softball and delicious. You know what else is the size of a softball, The Squirts softbal.......
All the Rest:
Guess what, it's Friyay, it's Memorial Day weekend, it's my birthday weekend and it's also ... disgustingly cold, rainy and just awful outside. This is a fitting set piece for the typical narrative our lives run, with last weekend being a scorcher and a holiday weekend we're meant to enjoy being a steaming pile. Anyway, as for Angi and Abe, they have absolutely nothing special planned for the weekend (I can't blame them.) Speaking of things going to crap, scam master Abe thought he had something going on when he ordered a computer that ended up getting refunded. Excited (but never cautious or thinking things through,) Abe started spending his chickens before they hatched. Of course, as we've all learned never to do such things, he ended up having the money taken back out once again (oops!) Good thing he didn't go too nuts with the cash, only buying some SafeMoon (his new cryptocurrency of choice,) and a trip to Hooters yesterday. He had intended to go to the casino with the excess but luckily he didn't because on this show, we've seen what happens when you give these two money and set them free in a casino. Needless to say, Abe is back to being poor. He is hoping though for an accidental mortgage refund because that could be potential for a weekend casino trip. Speaking of casino trips, Angi is always down to go with him at any point and time, all he needs to do is ring her up. It's really nice to see these two degenerates find each other, absolutely heartwarming. May I offer a scam tip to them, perhaps they could corner that disgusting rooster Rocky and steal some of those $1,000 eggs he carries to the station several times a day. Continuing right along, heading to the phones they spoke to newish roadie Russell, who is moving into his new house this weekend. Unlike Abe who has yet to move into The Ivory Tower now going on what, 6 months? Russell also has his grill ready to go for the holiday weekend which is good because he can use the flames for warmth because it feels cold enough for snow at this point. It should be noted that Russell was shocked to discover there is a new rock station here in Chicago but he was happy to have it. This showcases the importance of our tell 3 friends rule. If you love the station, tell 3 others and help us grow into the biggest station in the city.
Have you ever heard of cooler corn, of course you haven't but today is obviously your lucky day. This method of cooking that doesn't involve meth instead allows you to make a ton of corn on the cob at once. As you can imagine, this will completely dissolve and devolve into absolute insanity but I digress, let's look at how to make this backyard treat. What you need is a washed out and empty Coleman cooler. Once you have this, you need to fill it with full peeled corn on the cob. Once that's done, take a bunch of kettles of boiling water and fill the cooler with it. Seal it up, wait 30 minutes and boom, you have yourself some fully cooked corn. Abe found this whole thing to be absolutely stupid and pointless, as you could easily cook it like this on the stove. Seriously, who in their right mind is going to heat up all that water, what a colossal waste of time all this is. Even Angi, who brought us this amazing innovation, would prefer to have her corn on the grill. Abe was still stuck on the absolute insanity of the whole "boiling all the water stuff'' while Angi said it would just be easier. Yet again Abe countered by asking her how much water that is, like 10 whole pots of it. Well, if it's such an issue, just toss the cooler in the kitchen. Angi said that all this complaining basically ruined the entire fun that the hack brought. To counter Angi, as he loves to, Abe also introduced us to a cooking hack. His is called box chicken and it sounds incredible. To make it, all you need is chicken and a cardboard box. You need to take said chicken, put it in that box and then throw a bunch of lit matches at it. This was clearly ingenious and delightful, not stupid like the corn cooler idea ... duh.
Finally, what started out as a little back and forth argument about who the bigger gossip queen between Angi and Abe is, would become a near iconic segment about ... feminine hygiene. For the weighted argument sake of the initial point, we were given two sides to consider. There was Angi and her girlfriends, those snarky little bitches. Then there's Abe, who has 800 smack talking threads, each devoted to a different person and then branching off onto more smack talking with others. Angi proceeded to throw Jay the Straight under the bus again by saying she's listened in on his work calls at home and it's just him talking smack. As they attempted to configure who fit the molded crown, Angi diverted into a story. So Angi was out with her friend Sara last night (yep, everyone gets tossed under the Angi Taylor bus.) Sara was telling her the story of how she had to have a plumber come in because the toilets at home were backing up. When the work order bill arrived, Sara's husband got it and made sure to underline the issue. Paper in hand, he approached his wife glaring and pointing out what caused the problem. Apparently, it seems the clogs were being caused by tampons. Abe immediately began to explain how one should never flush tampons. Angi countered that she's been doing it for 30 years and she sure ain't stopping now. The only agreement in this whole mess came when they both suggested that tampons should not be flushed in a house with old pipes as well as at the office. Abe then went back to the past and dragged it into the future. "You used those mega pads right?" was all he had to ask to set her off on a course of rage. Confused and annoyed, Angi couldn't understand why he was bringing up a story from when she was 13 while also explaining that she only uses tampons. Confused, Abe didn't understand that you don't flush down pads but you can tampons. She had to make sure that he knew the difference before going further (he did.) Abe responded by explaining that pads are like a bandage for your face. Christ, my mind during all this. Angi's excuse was maybe the pipes were just old and bad. None of this matters though, forget all you've read and abandon all hope as Abe went on to explain a life hack. Take a roll of Reynold's tinfoil wrap into the bathroom with you, put your used tampon in a ball of foil and then throw it away. Enraged, annoyed, shocked, Angi had to ask if Abe had ever seen a used tampon (implying that his method is dumb.) If he had, he would realize that no one is putting it in tin foil and he is an idiot. Roadie Eric called and explained that the issue probably was old pipes. If you happen to be flushing this stuff and you're on the basement floor, you're going to be screwing up your ejector pit. The issue tends to be with the strings, as they get caught up in the motor and in turn, burn it out. Abe said maybe you could have an extra garbage can in the bathroom just for tampons and there would be a lid to hide the nightmare mess. After Angi shut that down, we were back on band aids and how easy they are to dispose of. A little more back and forth about bandaids and tampons commenced and then Angi had finally had enough of being mansplained. Well, one more dig actually coming from listener Pauly, who suggested that the tampons be disposed of in those doggie bags you collect poop in. Seriously, go listen to this segment, it was damn near incredible gold.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Glenn
Challenger Song Choice: "Mr. Blue Sky"
Champion Song Choice: "Metal Health (Bang Your Head)"
Observation: Maybe it's the weather but Request Wars was so mellow today. Not bad, not great, just kind of there. Thankfully we had that story about Abe losing his shoe to balance it out.
Winner: Glenn
The 8:30 Call Out:
Abe called out his carpet place for trying to deliver his carpet early.
Angry Bob called me out for my birthday tomorrow and said he hopes I have a day of minor inconveniences.
Trashman Tim called out Abe for giving him the number to a no call, no show hardwood floor guy. He also called out his mother for receiving a new liver one year ago today and for being a strong courageous woman.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Every military person we've lost. They are the true meaning of Memorial Day.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I hope they (dogs) don't bang, that would make me angry." - Abe
Quote: "You (Abe) always wonder if people are dead. That's weird, it's weird." - Angi
Quote: "Have you ever heard of box chicken? You put a chicken in a cardboard box and throw matches at it." - Abe
Quote: "(Abe) Stop licking the television because John Stamos is on it." - Angi
Quote: "Hey, I'm a BBW." - Abe
Quote: "Every woman should have tin foil next to the toilet." - Abe
PSAbe - Never Ever Park at the Airport.
Quote: "Trashbucket Taylor is doing her annual VFW tour. Free handies for all our heroes, isn't that nice." - Minn Barb
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Scott, Head Roadie of Autograph Collectors
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