This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
I'm not sure you've been keeping up but the price of toys are pretty high now. In this instance, I'm referring to Legos, which have a new set coming out that got Angi interested this morning. The massive set which is an art world map comes with 12,000 pieces of 2d Lego titles. This is also one of those "adult" made Lego sets and so not only does it come with fun but also a price tag that will make your eyes bleed. Angi learned this first hand because she has a kid and considering buying Lego's as a gift is something only rich parents do (seriously, check out the price of them sometime, it's nuts.) Anyway, this got her to thinking, what was your go to toy as a kid. For Abe, it was his He-Man action figures, with those rippling muscles and tight little underwear, I'm not shocked that he loved them. He also had a Sword of Grayskull toy that he would run around in his underwear swinging inside the house. For Angi, she was fond of Strawberry Shortcake, each smelling of a different fruit. Eventually, her other favorite childhood toy became cigarettes but that was like when she was 7. Because it's Abe and so you don't need to consider it further, assumed that her favorite toy was tinker toys. I'm assuming the joke here is that she's in her 80's now or something. The one thing that she always wanted as a kid was an Easy Bake Oven but she never ended up getting one. This of course explains why she yells at me every time I ask her to go to the kitchen to make me a sandwich. For the record, Abe doesn't like that the food was cooked by a lightbulb. Anyway, turning to the phones, the roadies gave us a few of their choices. Tyler was totally into Tech Decks, those little miniature skateboards. Head Roadie Lindo was a girl who loved boy toys, she had a Millenium Falcon and Tonka trucks. Abe questioned her only playing with boy toys but Angi then started ranting about gender neutrality. For roadie Chad, it was all about G.I. Joe's. Angi explained how her whore Barbie and her friend's G.I. Joe's would end up bumping nasty parts together (I'm not shocked.) Abe knew a kid growing up who was rich that used to bury all his G.I. Joe's when they died in war and would just buy new ones. God, I hate rich people. As for me, I was totally into mixing together a ton of action figures and would create overarching narratives for them to meet and fight one another. This was before I got into video games and dongs, which is all that consumes my adult life now.
All the Rest:
As was talked about on yesterday's show, Angi the Mush attended her second Sox game of the season. As expected, the Sox lost and Angi tried to place the blame on anything or anyone else aside from her rainy cloud jinx curse that she carries. Aside from that though, she had a few observations that she felt compelled to share about her outdoor adventure yesterday. For starters, the entire thing was completely ruined because of an insistence that Abe provoked prior and is now embedded in her addled brain. In our daily throwback to several other shows, remember when Abe mentioned (several) times about how he's disgusted by the smell of people when they come in from outside. Yeah, it sounds delusional and yet, here we are now. Since this exists in the sphere of influence, Angi now finds herself wondering and smelling the outside, both on herself and others. For this reason, going to the game and even setting foot outside the house is pretty much ruined. Since the weather was nice and warm, the stadium was full yesterday (the capacity is currently 60% which means there were like 9 people there.) With all those people, that meant plenty would end up smelling like the outside. You see, these people have massive ugly pores that absorb the smells of the outside and food and in turn, make them disgusting. There were also plenty of shirtless dudes at the game which meant Angi was taking creep shots and sending them to Abe. In a move to assert his straightness (I'd assume,) Abe complained that these losers should not be shirtless at the games but like in their yard. Angi did mention one of them must have been out alot because he looked like a cooked lobster. Moving on to the most important question, how many beers did Drunk Tank Taylor consume yesterday? Ironically, she didn't have any (probably because she had a bottle of wine stashed on her somewhere.) Unlike the last time, at least Angi was able to move around the ballpark this time. In fact, the Jack Daniels lounge was open so Angi went in there and had a highball drink. She also didn't consume food while there, so consumed with talking with her girls. There were also no fights as well (which explains how she actually made it into work today.) So aside from the heat and the fact that she caused a loss, Angi seemed to have had a good time. Next up on the itinerary is going to a game with Abe. The problem with this is though as soon as she mentions it, she knows Abe will flake as he does anytime you try to make plans with him. His excuse will probably involve The Ivory Tower and giving knob jobs there.
If you caught the closing minutes of yesterday's show, you would know that Abe has lost interest in plaything Dr. Drew Pinsky McIntyre and moved onto someone a little older. That's right, Abe has now set his sights and affections on 72 year old Sgt. Slaughter. What started off as fun and entertaining, with a retweet and a response has now evolved into a full blown war apparently. That's right, Abe is beefing with Sgt. Slaughter. Can I strongly emphasize once more before continuing that Sgt. Slaughter is 72 years old. This whole mess started when Abe posted a picture of his getting knocked out by the cobra clutch like 20 years ago. Now, due to that and a little back and forth, Abe has decided that he wants...correction needs to wrestle St. Slaughter. His goal is to use the cobra clutch on his to defeat him. (Even while writing this I'm shaking my head.) Abe is seeking a venue like Bourbon Street or somewhere else to take him on. In fact, he's already mapped the whole thing in his delusional head. For starters, Angi will be his manager and the perfect outfit has been mapped out. She will be wearing hot pants and a sparkly glitter jacket. Of course, the top will be cut low so the girls can provide a proper distraction as well. As for the fight itself, master strategist Abe revealed how he expects things to go down. You see, he's going to accidentally bump the ref and in turn, take him out. While they're panicking and making an effort to find a new one, Angi will throw Abe her mic or his championship belt and he will clobber the 72 year old Slaughter with it. When he gets up, boom low blow and then hit him with the cobra clutch. Down goes grandpa, the crowd goes mild, it will be amazing. I should probably mention Abe has no formal pro wrestling training. Either way, Abe has guaranteed that he and Sgt. Slaughter will wrestle before the year is out (welcome back, broken promises and dreams!) Another point worth noting is the outfit Abe will be wearing. It will be a wrestling singlet, akin to Bret Hart, but on the straps will be the iHeart logo and he will have little hearts on his nips.
Finally, after hearing about the fact that beloved Friends actors Courtney Cox and rehab reject Matthew Perry are 11th cousins, Angi had a question for Abe. Is he related to anyone famous? No unfortunately, he's not and neither is Angi as well. Back to the Friends pairing, it shouldn't be too shocking that they are related in some way. In fact, if you go back far enough, everyone is probably everyone's cousin. This triggered a memory for Abe, about an unnamed friend who once went to Mexico and had a hot and steamy hookup with a girl. Upon his second visit, he came to find out that the girl he banged stupid was actually his second cousin. It should be noted that he did not know he that he banged his cousin until that second go round so it didn't get weird til later. Regardless, all the kids laughed and called him names, like "cousinf..ker." This caused Abe to plead for anyone that was listening and married to their cousin to call in. Unfortunately, none of them were tuned in at the time (I think they listen to Klinger or something.) However, we did get Phil to check in to discuss someone he once knew. This dude moved away for a time and when he returned, he married his second cousin. It should be noted that what he married was not hot (in that case, gross.) After back and forth, there was a point from Phil saying that he would marry his second cousin if she was, say, J.Lo but he would also change his last name. Not Abe though, if his cousin was say Megan Fox, he would go all in with no shame.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Danielle
Challenger Song Choice: "Judas"
Champion Song Choice: "I Miss You"
Observation: "Stink 182" ha. Anyway, This was a mixed bag of corny jokes, old references and of course, Angi being asked about wrestling and knowing nothing. I'm looking at songs to dictate the winner of this.
Winner: Glenn
The 8:30 Call Out:
Abe called out Sgt. Slaughter because the two are beefing.
Angi called out the shirtless guys in front of her at the Sox game yesterday for stinking.
10 o' Clock Toast:
The McCaskey's. Rumor is they're selling The Bears, good riddance.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Hey everyone, we don't want your ass or lower back juice on the seat." - Abe
Quote: "Why do you die getting thrown off a horse?" - Abe
Quote: "If you (Angi) killed someone, I probably would defend you." - Abe
Quote: "The problem with watermelon is I immediately have to go to the bathroom." - Abe
Quote: "Sgt. Slaughter and I will wrestle before the year is out." - Abe
Quote: "The problem with people on boats, they're always wearing sunglasses." - Abe