This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Over on Reddit, there's a subreddit where people who are seeking a specific answer can get it. I was specifically vague there simply because I skipped over the fact that the subreddit, which is a favorite of Angi's, is called "Am I An A-hole?" The reason I bring this up is because Angi was a hot topic on there this week, well I mean she would have been if she didn't have a radio show to ask the question instead. So Friday is Angi's 10 year wedding anniversary (congrats go here) and as a shocking (not shocker, that's for Friday) surprise, Jay the Straight sprung on Angi that he intended to get her a gift. The original surprise, at least for her, is that he's put up with her for this long. The problem is she just assumed that their Vegas trip should be the gift and not anything else. This is not because she didn't think of a gift outside the trip but because she wants to pocket all the cash so she can blow it at the blackjack table. This is where the question of whether or not she's an a-hole spawns, is she one for suggesting not doing gifts because secretly, she wants to keep the money to gamble with. Initially, Abe said she wasn't but he has problems (as we've learned today several times over) so his advice should not be trusted. Besides, Abe thinks gifts are stupid anyway so Angi shouldn't feel bad for wanting to pocket all the change. For Angi, she doesn't feel the need or pressure to get an equal value/price gift so that's not going to be an issue for her. The thing was, when Angi mentioned the no need for a gift, she basically stole his thunder and she could tell Jay the Straight had lost his excitement slightly. After taking a few to consider it, Abe changed his tune and decided that Angi probably was an a-hole in this situation. Drummer Chris called in to say that she isn't, because regardless of whether or not your significant other gives you a gift, you don't have to in return. Maybe she's just half an a-hole because she wants to waste the money on gambling. He said she should use it on dinner or a night on the town, which was something she was going to do as is. She finished the segment off by explaining she'll be at the Caesars and probably eating the beef wellington at Hell's Kitchen.
All the Rest:
So, Angi is going to be in Vegas this weekend as we were reminded over and over again all day. I can't really fault her for this btw, she really needs the getaway after the year or so that we just endured. Ironically, she needed it even more after this segment because Jesus Christ, Abe really sent both of this morning with what he had to offer today (more on that shortly.) For Angi, this weekend will be all about tons of drinking and copious amounts of playing blackjack. It will be 100 degrees for the next few days there and the pools will be open. Unlike most places, Vegas did not really care about staged reopening and just threw the doors right open. Angi is beyond excited, she hasn't been there in forever. Abe was excited too, not because he's going but because he loves Vegas. According to him, there's no reason to go anywhere else because they have the Colosseum, the Eiffel Tower, New York. Abe would never go to a place like Paris, you'll get stabbed there it seems. Brazil, no way jose, you'll get stabbed there as well. The worst thing that will happen to you in Vegas is an STD.
This led into the thing that would ruin our morning, our lives and basically the last shreds of Angi and I's mental stability. She made the mistake of mentioning a topic about weird things asked to Google. For example, "how many ounces are in a cup?," "where am I?," "how to kiss?," "how to tie a tie?." There was a quick break here because Abe explained that he has no idea how to and Angi does know how. Then came the next question, the problematic statement that lit the fire and set our lives ablaze. "What time is it?," a question asked by literal morons because one would assume that they are asking these things on a computer or smartphone. In fact, we made a proclamation this morning. If you are a listener of this show, you are smarter than 99.9% of people. Angi though could not bounce back from the idea that time was the number one question posed by people (she was about to get saddled with an even bigger burden.) This is where the discussion turned to time zones, a topic which Abe couldn't seem to grasp. He was curious as to if they are real and or why they exist? Angi tried to explain that he was confusing time zones with daylight savings time. No, time zones were created for farmers, Abe went on to explain. Angi was sinking fast here and it only got worse. Turning to the phones, a few calls were taken and each one only sent Angi further. This continued to go on for a bit more and with each passing minute, Angi got even more upset. Going to the phones to really get an answer, Roadie Wham tried to help explain to Abe what time zones are but it didn't help, Abe wasn't convinced. However, Wham's great personality and general bright demeanor got him an offer to maybe be the Head Roadie of The Sun. It should be noted that Wham can also start a fire with two sticks. Roadie Max agreed with Wham's explanation of what time zones were and said that he could probably start a fire with two sticks. Show encyclopedia and useful mind piece Brain checked in to explain time zones but none of this mattered or worked. Everything was broken after this, the timeline, the time zones and most importantly poor Angi who is desperate to unload Abe as soon as possible.
Finally, Angi is the Michael Jackson of mornings as she loves to be put under when she gets surgery. For her, it's really the most restful sleep she actually gets. The topic was about tonsils and having them removed, which for whatever reason most adults fear they will lose their voice when it happens. Before getting to the point, Angi illustrated how massive hers were by running around the studio showing Abe the inside of her mouth. In fact, when she was a kid, she would get strep throat all the time because of their massive size. Turns out though, losing your voice is not something you have to worry about after all. A woman in Australia who went under anesthesia ended up waking up with an Irish accent. Weirdly, this isn't something that is rare and seems to happen all the time. In fact, sometimes people go to bed and they end up waking up with a brand new accent. There is a scientific term for this but you don't care about that. What you do care about is seeing if Angi and Abe can actually peg accents. She asked roadies to call in so they could attempt to guess what their accent was. It started with Brian, whose accent was guessed as Boston and then Looney Tunes by Abe. Angi honestly had no idea. As you can see, this game was off to a great start. Turns out he was from Chicago, which kind of defeated the purpose of the game while also being so out there that no one would have assumed it. Next up was Daniel, who sounded like he was from a Cheech and Chong movie. He too was from Chicago (christ) though Abe assumed he was fromBlood In, Blood Out. It should be noted that he was born in Mexico though. A random person called in and boy this one really went off the rails. Angi said the south, Abe said Texas. They wondered if he was from a pineapple under the sea, did he live in the ocean, was he a pirate? Turns out after taking a hundred stabs at it, he was from the UK. Hearing the UK meant Abe broke out his Veruca Salt impression which Angi completely hated on. Angi explained that Abe was offending British people with how bad it was. Lastly, Slyvia called in with an actual accent as well. Abe guessed Brazil, Angi went with India and then Abe changed it to Columbia. After another swing with a guess of Polish, Abe finally got it. We came to learn from this that Abe knows a few words in Polish and also assumes that the Vatican City is in Poland. I've had enough, I'm done with today.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Zack
Challenger Song Choice: "Trouble"
Champion Song Choice: "Ride the Lightning"
Observation: I won't lie here, I dozed off this morning before Request Wars started and woke up during the accent stuff so I didn't hear the talk. I assumed Metallica would clinch a victory regardless and I heard Zack was a brutal monster so good on him.
Winner: Zack
The 8:30 Call Out:
Abe called out the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for snubbing Iron Maiden.
Angi called out Abe for failing science and geography.
Sarah called out a friend who keeps complaining about not finding a good guy.
Ray called out Amanda from yesterday's Call Out, who complained about "girl dad's."
10 o' Clock Toast:
iHeart Media. They're bringing back their iHeart Festival this year.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I would never want to go to Paris, don't they stab you or something?" - Abe
Quote: "Do you know why we have time zones? Isn't it for the farmers?" - Abe
Quote: "Every horse is jacked up with roids and then they die." - Abe
Quote: "Who's got the biggest wang on the Bears, Abe?" - Angi
Quote: "Let's take a moment to realize this entire sports report has been Abe discussing who has the biggest wangs in the NFL." - Angi