This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Hey you, yeah you, if I was to ask if you're the best person you know is you, would I be correct in assuming that? No, I'm not psychic (maybe a little psychotic but still) but what I do know is that we, The United States, lead the world in self confidence. We have once again staked our claim in becoming just the worst kind of person by simply dubbing ourselves the best person. Before we go about patting ourselves on the back, let's see what Abe had to say on the matter. According to these notes, the best person he knows is his mom, Head Roadie of All Mothers Nadine. For once, he's not off base and crazy, she is an amazing person. The one thing he does know though, of her 3 sons, he's clearly the frontrunner for favorite. She may not want to say it out loud but he knows because how could he not be. Angi was a bit shocked that she was not Abe's best person but as we'll come to find, she's actually on Abe's radar for smack talk. Anyway, the reason this came up was because a polling was done and HALF (jesus) of the people polled believe the best person they know is themselves. When quizzed, Angi initially picked her daughter as the best person she knows, followed by Jay the Straight (aka her husband.) In fact, even her two best friends are higher on her list. When further considering though, Angi decided that her Bubba is the best person she knows. Also learned from the polling, 72% of people will also judge other people's behavior. Speaking of judging, that's all that seems to go on on this show. Seriously, all they do is smack talk everyone in texts and off the air all day long. This revelation, though already known, led to Angi attempting to walk back the notion that she's a monster. Let me give you the inside tea, she totally is a monster and don't let her fool you and think otherwise. This led to Abe explaining how he has essentially hundreds of threads where he smack talks people. Ironically, Angi hasn't landed in one of those smack talk positions yet. Abe offered that he doesn't know anyone outside of me and we generally like her (until she acts up then that's it, gloves off.) Abe is desperately awaiting the return of co-workers so he can finally start smack talking her though. She offered up Rufio as a sacrificial lamb for Abe's bitching and honestly, he might take her up on it probably. 82% of those people polled would also take drugs to make them a better person. They seem to think molly would accomplish this for some reason and not just make them want to rub against the furniture. As for me, my best person I knew just died on Sunday. He was more than a best friend, he was an incredible person all around who did so much for so many, the world lost an incredible soul and I'm simply just lost.
All the Rest:
Let's begin talking about neighbors, for which most of us fall into three categories. We have the neighbor you actually like. There's the neighbor you don't know for whatever reason. Then there's the point of this topic, the crappy neighbor. Angi was curious as to what makes people consider their neighbor to just be a read load of bullish. For a farmer in Michigan, it all came down to finding a stinky way to solve a dispute. To get over a property line issue, the neighbor put up a 250 wall of cow pies. This wall of literal ish basically causes everything to stink which only adds fuel to the crap neighbor fire. Angi has a neighbor she absolutely hates. This creep spent all of last summer feeding the winged rats that we call pigeons for some reason. He did this outside his window so they would roost over there and also by Angi, which meant they were pooping all over her patio. This is the same neighbor btw who puts out coats in the winter and hangs them from the tree in his yard. Like, is he just out of closet space or is looking ratchet just a cool thing to do? Roadie Telly called in to dump on his neighbor who blasts country music all night long. I'm sure that neighbor is not Angi, she despises country music. Troy has a neighbor who has 5 broken down cars strewn about on his lawn. That to me is the worst kind of person. Abe discussed the neighbor he had before he moved into The Ivory Tower who had a dog that he left out all the time. This poor pooch would then bark all night from like 11 til 4 in the morning. Back in Minn, Angi had a neighbor who did the same when she was a kid but mind you, he'd even leave it out in the freezing cold. Abe personally believes a dog should be inside and not outside. Those who do leave it out look at it as a source of protection it seems. Abe solution, a sniper could just take the dog out or just lure it away with a steak on a fishing hook. Ugh, people abusing dogs is really awful.
You know how all of us can't help but buy into stupid things we are told because it sounds realistic. Well we here at The Angi Taylor Show are seeking to ruin that knowledge base but debunking things you think are true but in reality, are just myths that somehow continue to linger. Prepare to unprocess all these dumb thoughts.
Myth: Dogs see black and white (they are basically color blind.)
Myth: Cracking your knuckles is bad (nope, harmless.)
Myth: Dye in pool water can detect urine.
As usual, we hit an off the rails point. Abe chimed in here to say he's the only person that doesn't pee in the pool. Angi doesn't either, she had to chime in with. However, they have both peed in the ocean. This led to an amazing Abe question as to whether or not fish pee. Apparently they do but it's water toned so you don't notice. Then Abe really hit his stride by asking if Angi takes her bottoms off when she pees in the ocean. No, she lets the pee just go through. Abe apparently just stands there in the ocean, pulls his trunks down and keeps moving while he pees. That's right, you are expected to pee crop dust the ocean.
Myth: We only use 10% of our brain (it's totally more, probably 11.)
Myth: Gum stays in your stomach for 7 years (totally false.)
Myth: Shaving makes your hair grow back thicker. (Nope, this is false so Angi's family shaving babies head was a total waste.)
Myth: Vaginas get looser with more sexual partners (It surydoesn't, it can push out watermelons and go back, this is no different. For whatever reason, Abe compared it to sweatpants bands. I swear he's never seen a vagina.)
Myth: We swallow 8 spiders a year in our sleep (the only thing we swallow on this show is ... Jack Daniels.)
Myth: You have to wait 30 mins to swim after eating (Abe does not agree with this, Angi does. Then again, Abe also eats a bag of garbage when he feasts so....)
Finally, Head Roadie of all Nurses Erin checked in to celebrate National Nurse Day. This whole past year has been the absolute worst not only on us but those front line workers like Erin who tirelessly worked to help combat this horrible virus that has ravaged so many. Really though, the best thing about her outside of being amazing for the work she does is that she had sex with a WWE wrestler. While I'm not saying it was John Cena, all I know is the room was dark and she couldn't see him so who knows who it was. Speaking of wrestling, Abe's boyfriend Drew Lachey McIntyre is actually going to be on the show tomorrow. I expect him to be wearing his loose fitting pants because the Abeaconda is definitely an HR issue. More on that tomorrow though, back to Erin. She gave a shout out to all the nurses because as we said, all should be celebrated today. It was also noted that she did get her free Dunkin' coffee this morning as well. So to all nurses, thank you for all that you do, we here at The Angi Taylor Show love and appreciate you.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Trystann
Challenger Song Choice: "Hush"
Champion Song Choice: "Sober"
Observation: Trystann went hot right off the bat. Then she got confused, then I got confused. Then the jokes came and lord, she stumbled and fell down. George is the clear favorite imo.
Winner: Trystann
The 8:30 Call Out:
Abe called out the guy in the building this morning who he walked past that was covered in hickeys.
Kelly called out her mother Brenda for just randomly dropping the fact that her dad is not her real dad.
Brian called out his brother and sister in law because they love touting on their vacations on FB.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Melinda Gates. She was given 2 billion bucks by Bill on the moment the divorce was announced. She took that money and bought a private island.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "If you leave your dog outside all the time, you are trash." Abe
Quote: "Wait, do fish pee?" - Abe
Quote: "I hate, HATE, country music. I can't stand it!" - Angi
Quote: "A banjo or harmonica will send me through the roof." - Angi