This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
You guys, things got downright spooky this morning on the show. After all the talk of death this morning with Prince and Angi being trapped in the elevator, it seems a spirit was disturbed. Why else would Angi decide to ask about ghosts, as in do you have one in your house or have you ever had one in your home? This bone chilling question was spurred on by Angi's assumption that she is currently being haunted by a spook. You see, something is coming from inside the kitchen, a rumbling brought straight forth from one of The Conjuring movies. The hood vent above her stove, it is straight up haunted and every night, it turns on by itself. Angi is absolutely convinced that it's someone from beyond the grave looking to make contact, Abe is a bit more skeptical. Perhaps the issue is the fan itself because if it was a ghost, why wouldn't it do something more annoying, like turn on the TV instead? So Angi sought out the advice of anyone currently living with a ghost or perhaps an electrician, either way she was seeking an answer. The weird thing is Abe had a grandma who had the death foresight and yet he takes this all jokingly. His grandma would dream of seeing people wearing white walking outside of her window or in a doorway and then that person would die the next day. It happened several times and once was actually even more detailed. She had seen her uncle (who had been dead for some time) waiting for his son, who eventually came into the room and ended up dying the next day. This then went slightly off course as Angi and Abe rallied against cats, as they are evil, hate you and will eat your body when you die. Protip: Don't die in front of your cat. In fact, even beloved goth author Edgar Allen Poe hated cats (learned you something new there today did ya.) Taking to the phones, appliance service roadie Matt said that the tech in the fans might be being disrupted by smoke. This makes no sense Angi explained, all the pot smoking is done outside the house. Well then, it must be the ghost's ectoplasma that is seeping into the system and causing it to go haywire. His suggestion was for her to call Ghostbusters. Roadie Joe kind of agreed, saying the issue is probably moisture. This makes sense because if you recall, Angi's house melted after that giant snow storm and the walls all flooded and she needed to gut 4 rooms. Joe assumed that the sensor had just gone bad because of the moisture that went into the walls. Stephanie on Facebook suggested that if it was a ghost, perhaps Angi could have a psychic or a witch come in to help push the spirit to where it intended to be originally. The final takeaway point here came from Angi who is absolutely terrified of ghosts, unless of course you're a hot ghost. If you are, Angi sleeps in the nude and basically gave any hot ghosts free reign to come on in (pun intended) and tap that sweet fat bottom ass of hers.
All the Rest:
It was Prince Day on The Angi Taylor Show today. It's the 5 year anniversary of Prince's death and so it was fitting that the morning began with "Purple Rain" playing in the background. In fact, "Purple Rain" is the song that Angi wants to be the centerpiece of her funeral when she dies from a combination of her house falling on her, the elevator at work sending her to her doom or of course, being carried off by the rats outside her house into their underground lair. She was adamant though, regardless of whether or not she is shanked with a broken wine bottle, "Purple Rain" will be played at her wake/funeral and has been instructed to Jay the Straight and her daughter. After this touching look behind the curtain of a woman who knows what she wants, noted monster Abe Kanan decided that Angi was a narcissist. Dismissing the jab as she should, Angi went on to talk about how she spent two hours last night watching Prince videos and interviews. From digging through these internet gems, Angi was able to tell some stories. This included why Prince hated Michael Jackson, Prince baging Madonna and the beef he had with both Sinead O' Connor and Keith Richards. Personally, I thought it was a great way to start the morning and I was enjoying Prince Day. Of course, after an audible by Abe to make "When Doves Cry" today's Kick in the Crotch song, noted A-hole Angry Bob called in to ruin things (as he does.) That crotchety cantankerous old wet blanket complained about everything being all things Prince but Angi was unphased by the angry fossils rage. Instead, she capped off this section of Prince Day by discussing Dave Grohl and his greatest achievement in life. That was when Prince covered "Best of You" during what is considered the greatest Super Bowl halftime show.
So, now that covid is being handled (not over, please don't assume that it is over and please get vaccinated,) 65% of people have already planned out upcoming vacations for this summer. There is a thirst second only to the upcoming Angi Taylor OnlyFans page for travel and people are literally willing to go anywhere. This got Angi curious and looking to give back. For those that are planning a trip, where should someone go at least once before they die and do you have any advice on what to do while there? It can be literally anywhere or anything, from a country to a city, a museum or a restaurant. I think at this point she'll also accept heavy petting zoos or weird German sex dungeons. Abe's choice was simple because Abe doesn't go anywhere. Vegas obviously but this time he actually slid in some added info to go with it. His choice spot, which is not Pawn Stars thank god, is a place that is nothing more than a crappy hotel called Bally's. Here in this hole in the wall, every Sunday they have something called the Sterling Silver Brunch, which for disgusting slobs like Abe is akin to mecca. They have all you can eat lobster tails, king crab legs, filet minion, the list goes on and on. Angi was not impressed in the slightest by this offering, she may have even been a bit disgusted. Besides, there's no way in hell drunk Taylor is doing brunch on a Sunday. She's so busy cleaning the vomit out of her hair and getting ready for the flight home that there's no time for food. In fact, if she was to even look at a lobster, she would probably vomit. Abe had what he considers an ideal solution, she should just take Monday off and Friday too. I personally don't see a problem with this and I'm always ready and willing to sub in when one of the hosts disappears on a bender. After dismissing this, Angi decided to take Abe to task for his not ever wanting to travel out of the country. If you're a long time listener you know that Abe has a particular animal fear that justifies his never going to another country. Coupled with his being able to find everything in Vegas and boom, he's never leaving the U.S. After a verbal knock around between the two, Angi explained that she's been to Paris and Italy and that those are places people should go. Round 2 began shortly after and after more verbal blows, an enraged Angi took to the phones. Head Roadie Jim suggested Ontario as a place to go and we even came up with a fun way to get Abe into the country against his will. Tim offered up Branson, which is essentially Vegas Lite (why bother imo.) Frankie said Branson as well, saying it's fun. Megan said to check out the Porcupine Mountains, where you could hike and I kind of missed the rest over Abe's cackling at the idea of outdoorsing. However Angi was intrigued by it and probably wrote it down on a wine soaked notepad. There was another sidestep while Angi and Abe tried to recall the name of Swallow Cliffs or "that place with all the stairs." Roadie Torianna said the Grand Bahama Islands. Lastly, Sean offered up Jerome, Arizona which is where Maynard from tool makes his wine and essentially runs the whole town. Angi heard wine and she was already booking plans on TripAdvisor.
Finally, on a day that was morbid, ghostly, spooky and had snow in April!, Angi brought up the story of the guy on death row who is seeking to be done in by firing squad. The talk then turned lethal injection which is equally awful, if not even worse than being shot to death. As we know though, things can always be even worse like the woman in Indonesia that was swallowed whole by a python. This horribly morbid subject matter led us to the final discussion point of the morning. What is the worst way to die? Angi suggested being burned to death is the worst way to check out (ironic coming from that witch) though also fitting would be dying in an elevator (at 95.5, which seems hell bent on taking out either Angi, Abe or Conrad Cooper.) Abe's was a bit more, umm, fantasy based. He imagined being beat to death by Brock Lesnar as his terrible way to die. Which reminds me that he used to have this delusional fantasy of encountering him and having him wreck him in an alley, behind a dumpster or something. The talk returned to the python, a grim thought stew of exactly how one is killed by such an animal. Abe, always one step ahead, had moved on to another death. This time Goodfellas head in the vice became the prime candidate for absolute horror. Angi saw through him though and knew he only mentioned it because he wanted to do his Joe Pesci impression. Roadie Linda said being dropped in a vat of acid would be the worst, just slow and painful. Abe went on to explain that this particular death was how Skeletor died in Masters of the Universe. Lindsay is afraid of being mansplained to death by her husband whenever they buy Ikea furniture. Anyway, Tracy is not seeking to die by electrocution. Eric and Adam both brought up the viking tradition of blood eagle. Oh, you remember blood eagle, that's the thing where they cut open your back, chop out your ribs and throw your lungs over your shoulder so you can watch yourself suffocate to death. Fun fact to go with that, if you let out any indication of pain, you're excluded from Valhalla. Well then, on to Thomas who said being buried alive as you suffocate to death in that enclosed space and can't do anything. Does anyone else have hives all of a sudden cause I have hives now? Speaking of suffocation, Abe relieved his childhood trauma of being 3 and having a fat guy fall on him at Jellystone Park and almost drowned him. Yep, drowning would definitely suck, Angi agreed for once. Roadie Alex discussed the movie Law Abiding Citizen, in which the murderer loved to rip people piece by piece, from nail upward. A slow and torturous death, which is how my insides feel writing all these horrible things. Abe went on to make yet another entertainment reference, this time paralleling the previous death to when Reek was being slowly lopped off by Ramsey Bolton.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Jeff
Challenger Song Choice: "Hells Bells"
Champion Song Choice: "Ain't Talkin' Bout Love"
Observation: YES! YES! YES! These two went off and it was everything I wanted and more. Dear god, this was so good. I don't even care about the songs, whoever wins deserves it because this was AMAZING. Well done, I'm happy either way today.
Winner: Megan
10 o' Clock Toast:
Prince. Today is the 5th anniversary of his death. Angi is being haunted by the ghost of Prince.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Alright, enough with the Prince" - Abe
Quote: "Meatloaf's dead right? ... How is Meatloaf still alive?" - Abe
Quote: "Everyone in Chicago probably has IBS right now." - Abe
Quote: "I'm not going to travel out of the country ... I don't wanna get stabbed, robbed" - Abe
Quote: "What culture (in Italy), I could go to Olive Garden right now." - Abe