It was a solid take down that would have made any NFL defensive coach proud. In the released dash cam video above, a mom is seen standing in her front yard talking with the neighbors. Her arms are folded and she looks pissed. She is pissed. She had just called the cops when she caught a an adult male peeking into her 15 year old daughter's bedroom.
Suddenly, if almost by instinct, momma bears eyes are focused on something off camera. Like a pro linebacker her arms go wide and she is instantly into motion. Her thick thighs adorned in a tight pair of faded jorts carry her on a solid intercept course. Mom's eyes are focused, so focused you can clearly see the hawk like stare through some rather nerdy glasses. Eyes on the prize, big momma hits the suspect who was fleeing from the police. It was a solid hit. The guy never stood a chance. She rolled with the motion, her arms wrapped tight around the peeper, as she she firmly slams him into the ground. (Bell Rings)
OK Steve, let's see that again in slow motion.
Hell hath no fury.. whatever.. this mom was gonna make damn sure this guy would have his day in court.. all be it with a mild concussion.
The 19 year old suspect, Zane Hawking, was held down by mad mom and her daughter as the police rushed in with the cuffs. She got a high five and a letter of recommendation for next seasons defensive tryouts. Word on the street is that Houston Texans are considering using faded jorts as part of their new training regiment.
FADE IN
INT. PRISON CELL - DAY
ZANE HAWKING and ATTORNEY are seated at large metal table. The lawyer has his hands on the briefcase and is starring directly at HAWKING who is looking down at the table shaking his head in disbelief.
LAWYER
Look, I'm not sure what to tell you Zane. I think these guys in here are gonna eat you up alive when they see the video of you getting tackles by that girls mom. It was a solid hit, this isn't going to end well.
FADE OUT
Screenplay by Patrick Capone