This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
That's right, it's CHAINSAW Friday!!!! Seriously, if you didn't spend most of the last two hours of the show thinking about chainsaws, you clearly weren't paying attention. That's right, chainsaws, dear god today's show was all about them. I have more notes luckily but chainsaws are chainsaws and chainsaws chainsaws. Rev em up boys!
There was a double dose of questions that were essentially in the same vein this morning. Each had to do with celebrities, the first discussion spanning the owning of memorabilia. Janet Jackson's key earring from Rhythm Nation is going up for auction. This posed Angi to ask Abe if he could own any piece of memorabilia, what would it be. He jumped (zing) at the chance of owning Eddie Van Halen's Frankenstein guitar. Angi said that she would love Prince's Purple Rain Cloud guitar. Abe went on to explain though that if someone was to sell it eventually, they would end up looking like an a-hole. Abe then offered up his air fryer, something he assumed that he would love but hates so much that he's giving it away. He went on to explain to Angi that he doesn't have anything worth anything. Changing slightly to the present, Abe asked Angi if she was to die, what would she leave him? Angi said that she would give Abe her air fryer, which again made no sense because Abe wants his gone. Abe asked if he could have Angi's car (which apparently is filthy as we learned later in the show.) In the end, the last item offered up was Anthony Kiedis' matchbook teeth, which Angi said she would take to the dentist.
Bookending the celebrity talk, the next had to do with artwork actually made by celebrities. Angi asked Abe if he would buy art made by various celebrities. Angi, of course, would buy artwork Prince made. How about Slyvestor Stallone, Lucy Liu, Dennis Hopper? No resounded all these and Abe essentially stated he wouldn't buy any art made by celebrities. David Bowie suddenly changed Abe's tune and he was suddenly on board. Johnny Depp, Joni Mitchell, Jim Carey, Bob Dylan, Stevie Nicks, Rosie O' Donnell and Anthony Hopkins who also got no's. Going down that road of "I changed my mind again," Abe said that if Axl Rose was to make art, he would buy that as well. His offer though went a bit lowball, he said that he'd pay $50 for it. After all, in yet another throwback to the previous point, Abe said that he has no money. Angi went on to say that the money he does have, he should be spending on her since it's going to be Valentine's Day this weekend. Abe finished the topic off by pointing out that Angi and Jay the Straight are big art people and Angi discussed a local artist that she loves.
Finally, this last part goes out to all the old people who listen. The AARP has a warning for them, do not send out nude photos. This stems from grandparents who are being scammed by hackers who are getting their nudes and then using them to blackmail them. If you're an old person, you probably shouldn't be sending out nudes anyway (according to Abe.) The discussion then turned to Angi, who was asked if she likes getting nudes? In a not so shocking response, she explained that unless you are sending her pictures of a literal Pringles can (hey there Trey Dongz,) then she just doesn't care. If it is a Pringles can though, know that she will end up showing your giant dong to everyone. Abe put out a vague PSA to say that Firefighter Chad will show all your nudes to his friends. I will chime in here and agree completely, as I have a straight roommate and I see all the pics of sluts who send him nudes. The moral and point of all of this, just know that if you're going to send out a nude that it is going to end up with everyone seeing it.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Brett (2x)
Challenger Song Choice: "Hallowed Be Thy Name"
Champion Song Choice: "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
Observation: I'm sorry but Brett's only strong suit is his song choices, they should skip over him during the smack talk because it is literally insufferable. New York Woody was a bit better in the smack but god the song choice was just so overplayed.
Winner: Woody
Other Topics:
There was a talk today about your phone, the thing you're probably reading these notes on. That's right, phones, they have become the official most important thing in people's lives. This replaces the car, which used to be king for 100 years. When pressed about how many hours a day each of them are on their phones, there was no big shock that one was higher than the other. Abe said he's usually on it about 3 hours a day. He's mostly dealing with emails, both personal and work related. As for Angi, she is on it for about 6 hours a day but that's because she's playing Candy Crush (or other various games on her phone.) This whole topic is crazy to me because being as old as I am, I remember when I didn't have a cell phone and I wasn't completely immersed in the world around me. Now though, missing like 1 text feels like the end of the world.
So, as we've been over plenty of times now, Sunday is Valentine's Day. For that Hallmark holiday, 36% of people said they will be doing a special sexual move on Sunday. If you have to save it for Valentine's Day, does this mean that you're a loser in the bedroom all other times. When questioned on their signature movies, Abe explained that his is to fall asleep. Angi, of course, has a bunch of moves and apparently so does Jay the Straight. The thing is, Angi's are starting to fail her. In a return to a discussion from another morning, Angi loves to dance naked in front of Jay the Straight and he has grown to simply ignore her now. The thing is though, if Jay the Straight doesn't start perking up soon, Angi said she'll go out and bang a chainsaw man, spoon man, the garbage man and a trash man. You hear that Trash Man Tim, you might be in luck.
Lastly, Angi asked Abe about pets, which even though he doesn't have one right now, he has had them. This brought up Shelly, Abe's dog of many years that is beloved to him. The reason she mentioned this was because half of pet owners say that their cat or dog has taken on their personality traits. Angi has two dogs, Dre and Suge. Angi can understand and see this with her french bulldog, they are essentially the same person. The dog is thirsty for attention, which so is Angi apparently (yes.) Angi's other dog, the pit bull, has a beefy vagina that sags and drags. Seeing this has given her pause and made her assume that one day her's might hit the floor as well. Abe's brother Sam has a dog named Trent, who is gay and only humps men. Though Sam isn't gay, perhaps the dog has been hanging around with Abe a bit too much. Just sayin....
10 o' Clock Toast:
Heather. She deserves it for turning a corner.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Have you ever seen Gronk's brothers, they're all morons." - Abe
Quote: "If you're 70, you probably shouldn't send out a picture of your balls." - Abe
Quote: "Unsolicited D pics, don't come at me, unless you're a pringles can." - Angi
Quote: "If you're dumb enough to put Gorilla Glue in your hair, you should live with it." - Abe
Quote: "You're (Abe) kind of a gaslighting weirdo." - Angi
Quote: "I do got a pit bull that's got a really beefy vagina." - Angi
Quote: "I hate everybody!" - Angi