Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's here finally, it's Chainsaw Friday! Throw in that this is the last live show until the new year and a lot went down today. Gifts were exchanged (Angi got two cases of wine from Abe, Abe got a sweatshirt and White Sox jacket from Angi,) shirtless guys were discussed off air and we discovered Abe knows nothing about pegging.
So, it finally happened, Abe Kanan has shocked the world once again (yeah, let's go with that.) In fact, the shock resonated so deep, Abe actually trended on Twitter for about 4 minutes (and capped off around #118 but still.) What did he do that was so special, why he won his Best Bet of the Week. That's right, it's the thing that has to hurt so good to guarantee money will be coming your way. In fact, the hurt was so good, Angi couldn't help but simulate the big O for it. Before I give his pick though, you need to get together some quick cash. You know the drill, take all the presents under the tree and sell them to your bookie. Take back all that Jack you have sitting around that you were going to use to celebrate tonight. Accidentally forget to send grandma that Christmas money she was looking forward to to save her house. You can do all this next week after you win big. This week, take the San Francisco 49er's -3 against the Dallas Cowboys. Abe wants you to think of him when you make this bet and know that you're welcome in advance when the money pours from the sky.
Speaking of money making schemes, Abe has yet another one up his sleeve, this time induced by both something that occurred this week in training and Angi having that big O during sports. Now before Abe even was able to come up with what this new plan was, Angi had made a declaration. She would not be a phone sex operator, lot lizard or drug mule again. However, what Abe suggested didn't need her to drop and give him twenty (or so, you get where this pun intended to go.) You see iHeart wants to make sure they've employed a lot of good boys and girls and so there are some films that they have to watch. Some of the films encompassed the usual, like work etiquette and not taking bribes to play garbage songs. However, what Abe was reacting to was the video that was shown for sexual harassment. As any of us who have ever worked in a job with training knows, these videos are bad and also one size fits all. Abe is looking to change that, with his Abe Kanan production company with would create sexual harassment videos for radio companies specifically. When a work comes out and says things like "nice stems babe and hey, you're a bit top heavy," Abe Morris would appear and yell "freeze." He would then go on to explain how the worker should have acted properly. That's right, Angi and Abe's side business would be making these videos and selling them to other stations. When Angi realized she was going to be the T&A that gets harassed, she was not shocked "what else is new." Angi decided it would be more fun to flip the script and have her do the harassing instead. "Hey Abe, I noticed you just took your sweatshirt off....Freeze!"
Finally, as we all know, opposites attract and it should probably be noted that people and their partner have opposite taste. For example, my best friend roommate Vinchenzo likes women and I like the idea of dying alone it seems. In Angi's relationship, Jay the Straight loves sweets and Angi is more into salty flavors (probably Jay the Straight's tears) This is also more than likely because of all the wine she drinks that offsets her want for sweets, at least according to her mother. Abe likes to eat alone with his shirt off because he's eating Portillo's and Jersey Mike's and he ends up smelling disgusting. He also wants to do this alone because he's ashamed (obviously.) His girlfriend, on the other hand, likes to eat kale and seaweed and ths such. Angi says that she wants a video of this animal devouring his prey but I think we have a better chance of Abe getting married at some point. Also, don't say wife to Abe, he won't react well. That said, some listeners chimed in with their issues. Jason is a Sox fan, his wife is a Cubs fan. Krista is a Packers fan (boo, hiss) and her husband is a Bears fan. Lastly, listener Mike, who also eats shirtless, is a ESPN fan and his wife loves Hallmark movies.
Other Topics:
Hey you, yea you! What's your kick in the crotch song? You know, that ultra fine guided boot right to the boys (or box) that wakes you right up! Well, if you can't think of one, you'd better get on it because a new segment has arisen just in time for the holiday hiatus. Each morning, something heavy and rocking will be chosen by a listener to wake up the audience and start the day. We mean hard too, none of that Michael McDonald stuff! Today's inaugural user was Head Roadie of A-Holes Angry Bob, who picked "Cochise" by Audioslave.
Let's follow up that question with another, which was what is the most stressful part of 2020? Abe's is that he can't go anywhere. Others who were polled showed the same sentiment among other things. 5: Time being stuck inside the house. Abe expects that come the time when covid is finally over or at least contained, we will see a ton of divorces and breakups. 4: Changing up of routines. 3: That election that never seemed to end. 2: Not being able to go to bars and concerts. 1: The stress of covid. For me, that fits because the amount of panic I've felt has melted years off my life and added pounds to my waist. Listeners were asked to chime in with theirs. Danielle was stressed by having to post her wedding twice. Samanatha had a break up about a month and a half ago and then she had a rollover accident three weeks ago. Listener Dano was completely bothered by having his kids home doing e learning all the time.
Lastly, Angi wanted to hear about your sex bucket list. Abe immediately resumed that Angi had done everything on the list. The irony was of course that the list was 100 items long. To add to the fun and close up the show nicely, Angi asked Abe if he had done a few things. Sex in the shower: Abe and Angi both said yes. The same was applied to sex in a pool. There was a curiousity about if sex in the ocean would work but Abe explained that you might end up getting banged by a dolphin. Have you ever been to a sex party: Abe was a no, Angi was a yes. Abe did accidentally go to a swinger party once, which was as disgusting as you'd imagine, like the people under the stairs kind of gross. Angi explained that she had been to a resort next to Hedonism and it was all old people on trampolines. How about some role play: Yep, in fact Abe was to pretend that he's Ozzie Guillen and that his girlfriend is Mochata with that big old bubble butt. Finally, Angi pulled out pegging, which gave amazing result answers. Angi explained she wanted to peg Jay the Straight, to no avail. Abe had no idea what pegging is because of course he doesn't. Before we go though, let's take one last trip down trauma lane. Angi once accidentally walked in on her mom having sex with her husband on a work out bench. This trauma rides deep and so Angi doesn't work out now because of it. Abe never walked in on his mother having sex because she's been single for like forever. However, Abe does want to hook her up with Roman Reigns. Angi was all for this because she thinks Reigns would just destroy her.
And that's a wrap, we here at The Angi Taylor Show are done for the year and will be back in early 2021. Thank you so much for listening, for reading these messy notes and for giving us time in your day. Have a Happy Holiday and a great New Years, we look forward to filling your mornings with nonsense when we return in January. Until then, Cheers and have a great one.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Tidbit: As a kid, Angi had The Claw drunkenly hanging out in her kitchen.
Quote: "There's nothing else to do but sit at home and drink" - Angi
Quote: "Atlantic City is like a craphole, right?" - Abe
Quote: "I won't be a phone sex operator, lot lizard or drug mule again!" - Angi