please note, this is a general overview of what I intended to discuss, we usually go off the rails within 5 seconds.)
Today feels wonderful, it's a great day. I've got my Dunkin' coffee (cream and sugar obviously.) It feels wonderful outside but the real reason why it's a great day was revealed this weekend. That's right, Abe mentioned on all his social media channels that 2021 is officially the year he will dunk. Having heard this for the last 12 years or so now, I'm confident that this will finally happen ... finally. Now, onward to the notes.
Of course, that build up also means that it's time to turn the pendulum on Abe, who in a bid to fly close to the sun, caught fire and crashed to the earth this past weekend. Are you homeless now, did you gamble away your Thanksgiving dinner money hoping for a sure thing. Well, then you clearly latched on to the Worst Bet of the Week. Sure, we all went in with high hopes because we need to have some type of blind faith in something but now we're left holding empty satchels with $ signs on them. Apparently Abe is teaching us how to win at sports betting.
So Oprah brought out her favorite things list for the holiday season and stand back normal folks because there are some real bank breakers in there. The Mirror, which is a total workout built into your wall and cost a ton is her seemingly favorite thing. The Barista Pro because you'll want to have a coffee after your workout (no thanks, I'll stick with my Dunkin.) The Yeti total air fryer, which if you consider The Mirror being on there seems to be ironic as an included choice. Also, you're definitely going to need $200 reusable shopping bags and of course, a $75 hoodie for your dog. If you have tons of leftover Best Bet of the Week money to blow, you should probably use some of it on this unnecessary garbage.
Finally, we have two new Head Roadies this morning and there couldn't be a bigger contrast. Up first, we have the sweet and wonderful Alona, who became the Head Roadie of the DMV after filling Angi with info and alerting that even though they implore her to play Christmas music off the sister station, she just wants to rock. On the other hand, there's show hater Angry Bob, who decided upon his own self imposed after his latest call ins. That's right, Angry Bob is now the Head Roadie of A-Holes and I couldn't think of a more fitting title and role. Keep up the good work and maybe you'll become our next Head Roadie.
Other Topics:
Being the good son that he is, Abe surprised his mom with an private Elvis impersonator concert for her 60th bday this past weekend. Though her actual birthday isn't until tomorrow, Mama Kanan, Head Roadie of All Mothers, should be celebrated every day for not only giving the world Abe ... but also for putting up with him.
So, unfortunate or fortunate, depending on what side of the coin you want to look at, Angry Bob is not dead. After skipping out for the last few Mondays on what should be his normal check, he finally called in to spew more of his anger and hatred. After coming for me and my love of John Jett's "Hit Me with Your Wet Jock," he went on to explain how his iPod brings more joy then the show. For some reason, he was made into a Head Roadie, so that should provide for more interesting stuff come next Monday.
A question was posed to people, what would pay money to never have to do this again: The overwhelming answer was having their home cleaned after the holidays and they would pay an average of $500.
Abe: Not have to read political discussions or have political discussions devolve into politics on Facebook.
Angi: Never have to do social media again. Doing laundry and organizing her house was a close second.
Troy: Not go through 2020 again.
(HR) Ferrari: Christmas stuff in stores until 2 weeks before Christmas.
(HR) Angry Bob: Not hearing talk on the radio over again.
Dan: Changing his cat's litter box.
Noah: Never worry again about anything in life.
Today was a massive give away day. A plethora of The Vault attempts, a ham, a Metallica prize pack, $1000. You may not realize it but the station is loaded with prizes and it is just desperate to fork over them to you. Listen in every morning and who knows, you may just become the next big winner.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"It turns out when people lose, they act like little bitches" - Abe
"I'm teaching you to win at sports betting" - Abe (who lost his bet)
"Who are we pushing for, Danzig, to be the Jeopardy host?" - Abe
"Call me a mush one more time and see what happens" - Angi the Assbeater.
Useless Fact: Angry Bob has a flip phone.